


Paint & Coffee

by andthelightbulbclicks



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - All Human, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 54,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3197093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andthelightbulbclicks/pseuds/andthelightbulbclicks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paint and coffee. The two loves of Clary Fray's life, and she's content with that. However, as she starts her senior year at another new school, a certain blonde haired boy who she won't give the time of day may change what, or who, her heart belongs to. For Clary, it seems senior year will never go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Video Chatting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in the process of transferring my works from FFn to here. I will eventually be cross-posting on both sites, but you lucky folks who are just starting the story (hello!) won't be getting my author's notes until after Chapter 15 when everything will be on track with current updates. Until then... Enjoy!

-Clary-

Coffee. Paint and coffee. These are the smells filling my room as I wake up. Two of my favorite things in the world waking me up. Not bad. The sun is already rising, but it's almost impossible to tell with the clouds and buildings nearly entirely covering it. I look over at my alarm clock right before it starts blaring. I groggily yawn and reach over to hit the snooze button before curling back into a ball on my bed, covering my head with a pillow when my mom starts calling out my name.

"Clary! I heard the alarm, let's go!"

I groan into my pillow, still able to smell the paint and coffee mixture that has become almost second nature to smelling every morning. How does she wake up this early and have the ambition to paint?

Granted, it is her job, but I mean, she could wait and hour or two, not that I didn't love the smell.

I don't move a muscle, silently praying I can just stay wrapped up in pillows and blankets for the day and avoid another first day of school. Scratch that. Another first day of school at another new school.

As I'm contemplating how long I can get away with pretending I'm still asleep, I hear a knock on the door followed by a stream of light gradually growing as the door opens.

There, in her usual paint splattered attire is my mom, Jocelyn Fray. Even in oversized overalls with a messy bun on the top of her head, she is beautiful. I groan into my pillow again.

With the door opened, the aroma that had awoken me is even stronger, waking me up even more, and forcing me to accept the fact I will not get one more ounce of sleep this morning.

I sigh dramatically as my mother smiles at me from the doorway.

"Come on sweetie, it's the last first day of school! You don't want to be late!"

I internally groan and roll over off my bed, showing her that I am moving. Moving at a snail's pace, yes, but it is still moving.

She smiles knowingly and heads back into the kitchen, or maybe her studio, but either way, she graciously leaves the door wide open, implying that she'd be back if I didn't really start getting ready.

I walk over to my closet and grab a pair of jeans and a graphic tee before shuffling into the bathroom across the hall. As I'm opening the bathroom door, Luke comes walking down the hallway, grinning from ear to ear.

"There she is! The big SENIOR!" as he picks me up into a bear hug.

"Luke-"

"Hm?"

"Air-," I try to say with the little bit of oxygen in my lungs. I do manage to laugh though as his grip loosens and he sets my tiny frame back onto the hallway floor. I smile back at my step dad.

"Are you ready for the last first day of high school?"

I laugh at his enthusiasm. "I'm ready to get another first day of school at a new school out of the way," I sigh.

He smiles, understanding. "Don't worry kiddo, it will be over before you know it. I know you'll be fine."

I try to smile back, but the knot in my stomach just seems to keep growing.

"It's just that, I've never had to start at a new school before without Jon, and-"

"Hey, hey," he says as he puts his arms on my shoulders and looks straight at me, "You talked to him last night, and he told you the same thing I'm going to tell you now. You can handle yourself perfectly fine without him. You're strong, and you won't take any sugar honey ice tea from anybody."

This time I give him a genuine smile at his word phrasing. He's still under the impression that it's inappropriate to curse in front of me, even though I'm seventeen, almost eighteen.

I think about the conversation I had with my brother last night via video chat. He's a year older than me, and had to stay down in Miami when we moved to New York a month ago because he was starting his freshman year at the University of Miami. Mom got a job opportunity with an art dealer she couldn't pass up, so we made the move to New York, but it would have been pointless to move all of his stuff up north just to move it back a month later. This was the first time Jon wouldn't be by my side as I walked into a sea of unknown teenagers.

I told him just as much last night, to which he responded, "You Clarissa Adele Fray, do not need me, Jonathan Christopher Fray, to protect you. You are perfectly capable of kicking anybody's ass that tries to mess with you."

I laughed, because he was right. My mom had been really big on the both of us taking self-defense classes a few years back since we moved so much, so I wasn't worried about that, but he could still tell I was nervous. Even if he wasn't in the same room as me, he was always able to tell when something was wrong with his little sister.

"Listen fireball," his nickname for me because of my flaming red hair, and my fiery personality, "you have that new friend of yours, what's his name? Seymour?"

I laughed again, "His name is Simon! Jon, I've told you, like, a hundred times," I say between giggles.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyways, you're still starting the year with at least one other person that you know. Yeah, it's not me, but I will allow for this Seamus dude to take on the duty for me," he says as he smiles at me on the computer screen.

I rolled my eyes at him, still laughing. I missed him. I missed him so much, but I would never tell him how much, because he would be the one to catch the first flight to New York City if I needed him, and he needed to be there in Miami, enjoying his first touch of the college experience.

As if on cue, I saw his roommate come into the room asking him if he's going to dinner. As Jon's about to tell him to go on without him, I stop him.

"You go ahead," I said, "Go meet a cute girl or something," I tried to joke.

He looked back at me on the screen and smiled affectionately at me.

"Ya sure? Because you know, I don't know how often I'll be able to talk on here with classes starting up tomorrow…"

My smile fell a little, but I would not get in the way of him enjoying the college life.

"No, go eat! Mom will freak if she thinks you're skipping meals already."

He laughed. "Okay fireball, get some sleep. I know you'll think I'm just saying this, but you're going to have fun tomorrow. It's not like you have a hard time meeting people."

Yeah, if only he knew my only friend here so far was Simon Lewis, our geeky next door apartment neighbor who taught me more about video games in the month that I have known him than I could have learned through years of actually playing them. But he's right, I never had a problem getting friends at all the other schools we went to, so I shouldn't worry. Plus, I think I'd be happy if it was just Simon and me against the world. I felt like he was my best friend, even in the short time that I have known him. We clicked from the first day Mom, Luke, and I moved in.

"I know. Call me tomorrow night if you get a chance okay?" I asked.

"Will do fireball. Love you," he said.

I smiled back, "Love you too." And with that, the screen went black.

"Clary? Earth to Clary…" Luke shakes my shoulders as I'm brought back to the present.

"I'm back," I laugh. "I've got to get ready! Simon will be here any minute!"

And with that, I leave Luke in the hallway and run into the bathroom to get changed and try to tame the mess on my head. I laugh at myself in the mirror because it really does look like I have a fireball on top of my head. There's no denying that I got my red locks from my mom. People always say that I look just like her. Honestly though? I don't see it. The only other thing I got from her is the love of art, but even then, as much as I love painting, I could draw in my sketch book for hours and hours.

Then there's Jon, whose hair is so blonde it's practically white. He's very built for a nineteen year old, and looks like my dad. Well, at least, from what I can remember of him. Anyways, so there's my beautiful mom, my very handsome brother, and then me. Simple Clary with her pale skin, freckles, and vertically challenged stature. It never made sense to me how my brother could be 6' 2'' and I could barely hit the 5' 0'' mark. Jon always makes fun of me for lying on my license and saying I was 5' 0'' when I still have that quarter of an inch hanging over my head.

The only thing I really have going for me is my eyes. My mom always calls them 'her emeralds,' saying that my eyes are the purest green she has ever seen, and that no emerald could ever compare.

I stare at my reflection for a second more, then change into the clothes I had grabbed from my room. I finally tame my hair enough to get it into a French braid and run out of the bathroom back into my room to grab my red high tops and a jacket. I can still feel the knot in my stomach, but I try to ignore it.

I run down the small hallway in the apartment into the kitchen to find Simon sitting at the table with my Mom and Luke, just finishing up saying something about Star Wars.

Simon. Simon with his messy brown hair and glasses propped up on his nose. He's tall like Jon, but is far lankier. Like me, he's wearing his typical outfit of jeans and a gamer t-shirt, only today there's a brown suede coat too. I try to understand the saying on his shirt, but it's beyond me. He really looks like the typical nerd, but he's my typical nerd. He will get me through today. He will watch out for me.

He smiles when he sees me, handing me a portable mug of coffee. The coffee that woke me up this morning. My smile widens at the glorious liquid in the mug.

Breaking my coffee trance, he gets up, saying, "Ready to go?"

I look at my mom, with paint smudged on her face, and Luke, with his glasses crooked on his nose, both looking at me happily. Sometimes I can see hints of worry in their eyes or faces, but today, they seem genuinely happy. I turn back to Simon, and muster the happiest smile I can, saying "Alicante High, here we come."


	2. Family Photo

-Jace-

_I'm in Java Jones, walking up to the counter, but nobody is there. Nobody behind the counter, nobody by the coffee makers, nobody sitting at the tables, just me. I'm sure that I'm dreaming, since the coffee shop is always crowded with teenagers and senior citizens alike looking for their coffee. And yet, I can actually smell the coffee. Can you smell in dreams? Because I never have, and I swear it's as if somebody just put a fresh pot of coffee on, when the coffee grounds' scent is the strongest._

_Then I see movement in my peripheral, a flash of red, and I whip my head around to see a figure just turn the corner._

" _Hey!" I yell after them, but don't get an answer._

_I try to follow her, was it even a girl? But I can't. My feet refuse to move as if they are glued to the ground right in front of the counter. The smell of coffee gets stronger, to the point that it's completely overwhelming, and then I see movement again, only this time when I turn to face the person, I see more than just red, I see…_

"JACE!" I can hear pounding on my door, "Jace Lightwood you better be up! I will not be late on the first day of senior year!" And then the knocking continues.

I chuckle to myself as I listen to my adopted sister, Isabelle, add some threats while insistently knocking, one including a bucket of ice water being poured all over me if I don't emerge from my room within the next five minutes. Or worse, she'll make me eat the eggs she had made for breakfast. I'm pretty sure I'd die from food poisoning. I would not put either of those threats past her, so I give in, and roll out of bed and drag myself to the door.

I open it two inches, seeing dark, very angry eyes, surrounded by raven black hair staring back at me. "I'm up, happy?" I ask.

"Ecstatic," she mutters as she crosses her arms and turns to walk down the hall. "Hurry up, because mom wants a photo before we leave," she shouts over her shoulder.

I roll my eyes as I close the door, trying to remember the dream I was having before Izzy woke me up. I remember Java Jones, and the coffee, and the red… but who was the stranger? I was so close to seeing them when my darling sister started the racket outside my bedroom door.

I sigh, giving up, knowing I will get nowhere dwelling on it now, and go to my drawer to grab some clothes for the grand first day of senior year. Everything is neat and organized, just the way I like it as I grab a white button down from my shirt drawer and a pair of khakis. I change in my bathroom that's connected to my bedroom and then walk towards my door, knowing Izzy probably is preparing that bucket of ice right now.

I glance at myself in the mirror as I walk by, and I have to admit, I look good, not that I ever had to worry about that. I always look good; it's part of my charm. My blonde hair has that natural messy look that girls die for. Plus, I'm Jace Lightwood. It's a general understanding that I practically look like a god. Trust me, I've been told on more than one occasion.

One more check around the room to make sure everything's in place and out of my room I go. Even though Izzy is the one freaking out about being late, I don't want to be either. I am never late. And this is going to be THE year. My year. I can't have it starting off on the wrong foot.

I walk down to the kitchen area and hear voices drifting from within. Strolling inside, I see Izzy standing by the counter while my adopted mother, Maryse, and our little brother, Max, sit at the kitchen table discreetly avoiding the eggs Izzy made and opting for cereal.

"Finally!" Izzy exclaims as she grabs her bag and makes her way to the door.

"What, I don't get to eat those lovely eggs of yours?" I ask with sarcasm. She glares at me and grabs a granola bar off the counter, throwing it in my direction. I just dodge it from smacking me in the head.

"Eat on the way. If we don't leave in ten minutes, we won't get there on time; this is not a time to joke." She's right. We live a good thirty minutes away from the school, and we'll be lucky to get into the city on time as it is.

Once again though, I roll my eyes at her, and take a look at what she is wearing. Anybody else would get a snide comment, but we all gave up a while ago on saying anything about the way Izzy dressed. It's just who she is. High heeled, low cut, skin tight stuff is, well, Isabelle Lightwood.

I walk over to ruffle up Max's hair as he tries to avoid it. He laughs when he fails to avoid me messing his hair, and Maryse looks at me disapprovingly, even though she's trying to hold back a smile.

My adopted mom stands, and she's almost as tall as me, and I'm easily past the 6' mark. She looks between Izzy and me and smiles, saying, "Look at my babies. They're all grown up, starting their last year of high school," through watery eyes.

Izzy and I exchange a look. "Maryse," I say, "if we have to go through what Alec went through last year, we'll be insane by graduation." Alec, my other adopted brother, graduated last year, and every event, and I mean from the first day of senior year, to the first test grade brought home, was documented and photographed. I think by the time he graduated Maryse had three full albums. Now imagine that with TWO seniors.

"Oh nonsense!" She replies. "You are only seniors once, and as your mother, it is my rightful duty to make sure it is as memorable as possible. No ifs, ands, or buts about it."

"Fine," I smirk, "as long as your camera can withstand all of this gloriousness for an entire year," I say while waving a hand in front of me. "I've been told staring at my perfection for too long can leave you blind." Izzy snorts and Max giggles.

"Oh Jace, I think we can handle it. We have for eight years, I think we're immune," she answers as she smiles at me. "Oh! And that reminds me, Alec called this morning to wish you all good luck on the first day. He said that he and Magnus finally settled into the apartment, and that they're classes will be starting in a week, so he might come back for the weekend."

I give her a genuine smile at that, because Alec just moved into an apartment near NYU to attend college near his boyfriend Magnus, and I've missed him. I will never give him the satisfaction of knowing that, but it's true. Yeah, I'm popular in school, and I've got my choice of girls lined up around the corner, but Alec is one of the few people I trust, the others being the rest of the Lightwoods. I miss him being here.

And with that, Maryse starts shuffling the three of us into the living room for the annual first day of school picture, even though we need to leave in less than ten minutes. Izzy continues grumbling that we'll be late, but knows not to try to get out of taking the picture. It never, ever works. So instead, she turns around to me with a dangerous gleam in her eyes, saying "For once, please don't do something stupid. Please Jace, I'm begging you. One nice first day of school picture. No bunny ears, no goofy faces, no closed eyes…"

I dramatically put my hand over my heart. "Now Iz, when have I ever ruined a picture? Last year I recall you being the one who's screaming with a beat red face in the picture."

She gives me an incredulous look. "That's because you pulled my hair like a preschooler right before mom snapped the photo!"

"I personally don't remember that. Do you Max?"

Ten year old Max smiles a big toothy grin and replies with a "Nope." I can always count on Max to be on my side.

Izzy just gapes at the both of us and turns towards where Maryse is getting her camera ready. "Now you know the rule," she says, "we take one picture, no matter what everybody looks like." And with that, I get a warning look from Izzy and Maryse, but an expectant one from Max. He knows what's coming. We planned it out yesterday.

"Alright, ready?" Maryse asks, positioning the camera in front of her face and starting the count.

"1-"

"2-"

"3-"

And just before Maryse snaps the photo, Max jumps onto my back and we both put bunny ears up behind Izzy, who seems oblivious to everything going on behind her. We stick our tongues out for good measure too.

_Snap!_

Max and I start laughing hysterically as Izzy turns around confused. "What? What did you do?" She demands as she walks over to take the camera and looks at the photo. Her face turns five shades of red as she looks away from the camera. Max and I are still laughing.

"No! That doesn't count!" She exclaims. "Mom, we need to take another!"

Maryse who hasn't said a word, but is again trying to suppress a smile, says what she says every other year, "You know the rule sweetheart."

I laugh. "Calm down Iz-"

"Oh no," she spits out while crossing her arms in front of her, "I'll get you back Jace Lightwood, I can promise you that." I see that evil gleam in her eyes that she gets when she's on a mission, and I know I'm in for it later, but right now, we really need to leave.

"Yeah, yeah," is my only reply as I grab my keys off the coffee table and head towards the front door. Izzy follows as we say our goodbyes to Maryse and Max. The joys of living a distance from school.

As I step out of the door, I know this is it. My year. My time. Jace Lightwood is here to play, and he will take no prisoners. Like every other year, I'll be the talk of the school. One last hoorah.

Alicante High, here I come.


	3. Madame D's Art Class

-Clary-

After Simon and I leave the apartment complex, we head down the block towards the school. That knot in my stomach that I have been trying to avoid seems to be getting tighter and tighter. Simon is going on about something regarding a high score he broke last night on some video game when we turn the corner and Alicante High comes into view.

Simon seems to notice that I'm not paying any attention to what he is saying because he stops in his tracks and turns his body to look at me. "Fray? Hello? Anybody in there?" He jokes as he waves a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry," is my only response. I've walked past the school numerous times in the past month with Simon, but it has always been deserted. Now? There are people everywhere. There are kids walking from other streets, cars turning into the parking lot, people scurrying inside trying to make it to class on time. I don't think we're late, but I ask anyways.

"Nah," Simon shakes his head, "we've got a good five minutes before the actual bell rings. You sure you're okay? You're kind of quiet," he adds as an afterthought.

I give him a smile and start walking towards the school's entrance, trying not to bump into the other people walking up the stairs. "Really Si, I'm fine, just want to get the first day out of the way, ya know?"

"Boy do I ever."

We make it through the front doors and Simon leads me down the right side of the hallway and down a small corridor where I guess the office is. I haven't actually been in the school yet, so I have no idea where anything is, and I need to get my schedule. Simon already has his since the school mailed returning student's schedules home about two weeks ago. New kids aren't so lucky.

Halfway down the hall I can see the office with its clear glass windows. We stop right before the open doorway.

Simon looks at me with the slightest bit of concern in his face. "Are you sure you don't want me to wait? I mean, I can at least show you to your first class once you find out what it is."

That earns him another smile. Jon would approve of Simon offering to stick by me. "Oh no, trust me," I had started every year of high school somewhere different, "I've been through it three times already, I'll be good. Besides, a new kid being late to class on the first day is okay. You really don't have that excuse."

He doesn't seem to have an argument to that, but he still grumbles about it being okay if he's late for his first period since it is Phys. Ed. Simon hates any sort of physical activity that doesn't involve sitting in front of a TV with a game controller.

I give him a look that says 'I'll be fine' to which he responds with a gallant bow, saying, "Until lunch m'lady." I playfully shove his shoulder while laughing, and he gives me a wink before heading further down the hallway.

My meeting with the guidance counselor goes better than I expected. When I had first walked in, the lady at the front desk directed me towards the door of Mr. Starkweather, guidance counselor of student's last names A through M. He was an older man, short, with graying hair, and he looked like he had a semi-permanent scowl on his face, but he ended up being nice, and very helpful.

"Ms. Fray, I see that you are interested in art," he commented as he glanced over my file and transcripts.

"That's right," I replied, "I plan on applying to the Art Institute of New York City and the School of Visual Arts soon for next year. I'm considering NYU too." I thought about this a lot. There was nothing I would like to do more with my life than learn everything there is to know about sketching, painting, sculpting, and everything in between.

"Well," he said with a smile, "it's nice to see a senior who actually has a plan for what they want to do next year." That's right. The plan was to lay low this year, not cause any unwanted attention, work on my art portfolio, and get into an art school. I had a set plan that was going to get me there, and nothing was going to mess that up.

I nodded my head, wanting to get my schedule already.

"After looking at your transcripts, it seems that you would have an extra period open even with you taking the art elective," he began saying, "How would you like if I put you into the advanced art class as well?"

I think the immediate joy in my eyes gave me away. "That- That would be amazing!" Two art classes every day? I'd take it.

He gave me a smile of his own, continuing, "The pictures of your art in your file give me no doubts that you would do just fine in the class. I would hope that you would use the time to work on your portfolio for those colleges of yours." Yes Mr. Starkweather, you are following my plan exactly.

"Oh I plan on it," I said while grinning. "Is there anything else? Or can I head to class?"

He handed me two pieces of paper, my schedule and a map, over his desk, and told me that I was free to leave. I thanked him again and headed out of his office into the main office, and then out into the hallway.

Now I look down at my schedule, seeing that I have general art first period and advanced art at the end of the day. Both classes are taught by Madame Dorthea. I knew I would be taking art, so I had asked Simon about the teacher. My schedule says Mrs. Dorthea, but Simon had warned me never to call her that unless I wanted to be poked with a paint brush, or a crayon, or a pencil, or whatever else was in her hands at the moment.

From what I can tell on the map that Mr. Starkweather gave me, the art room is just down the end of this hall on the right. Or am I looking at it wrong and it's down the other end on the left? I take my chances and knock on the door on the right and open it. A wave of smells hit me, ranging from paint fumes to crayons. I've guessed right.

The knot in my stomach loosens ever so slightly. I can do this on my own, without Jon.

A woman, who very much reminds me of one of those fortune tellers that charge people for fake readings, is standing in front of a class of about twenty students. She has a very colorful dress on and bangles on her wrists almost up to her elbows. Unlike every other art class I have had in school, this one is set up with desks that have two seats at each one. The woman, and every other person in the room, turns to look at me as I walk in.

"Can I help you?" The woman, who I assume is Madame Dorthea asks.

I trudge my way down the side of the room while saying, "Is this general art?"

She smiles as knowing crosses her face. "Oh! You must be the new student! Mr. Starkweather mentioned that you may be joining us. Tell me dear, what is your name?"

"Clarissa," I answer, "Clarissa Fray, but everybody calls me Clary." I am painfully aware of the twenty or so pairs of eyes still staring at me now that I'm standing right next to Madame Dorthea at the front of the room. She reaches her hand out and I hand her my schedule.

She looks down at it and smiles, "well Clary, I see we will be getting to know each other very well this year." I can only assume that she saw I had her last period as well. I smile.

"Where are you from my dear?" She asks with interest gleaming in her eyes.

"I moved from Miami about a month ago," I answer.

"As in Florida?" Someone asks, a girl who has far too much makeup on and a skirt that cannot possibly follow dress code. "But you're skin is so  _pasty_. A ghost has more color than you." Several students begin to snicker. I can feel the burn beneath my cheeks, but I smile. There's a reason my nickname is Fireball, and it's not just because of my hair.

"Now Kaelie-," Madame Dorthea starts, but I interrupt.

"No, it's okay. I'm glad the sunscreen did its job," I say with a smirk, "maybe you should try the real sun sometime instead of turning orange in a tanning bed. It clashes with the bleached blonde hair." I stare down at her.

There are even more laughs and snickers now and some oh's from the class, but I get a death glare from the girl whose name is apparently Kaelie.

Madame Dorthea, who seems to try not to let her lips twitch upward says, "Oh Clary, I think we will get along just fine. I will let the torture of standing in front of the class end. There's one empty desk in the back, why don't you head back there and we'll all get started."

Thank you, I was getting tired of the staring.

I nod my head as I take a step forward when the door flings open. Again, everyone turns to see who the intruder is. Only this time, it seems to be an angel. A boy with perfectly tanned skin, a golden halo of hair, and even from the distance, I could tell he has eyes that look like pure gold. He is perfect. But after a moment of gaping, a conversation with Simon pops into my head from when I asked him to tell me about the students at Alicante High. He gave me a firm warning about a boy who is the biggest player in the school. A boy who looks good, and knows it. A boy with such arrogance and confidence that Simon hates even the discussion of him. A boy named-

"Jace Lightwood," Madame Dorthea says in a less than enthusiastic tone.

Scratch that. Not an angel. It's the devil.

I think for a second the boy looks flustered, but just as quickly as it had appeared, it disappears and a smirk replaces it. I don't think anyone notices since all the girls in the class seem to be drooling and the guys look at him with envy. I just roll my eyes.

"Sorry I'm late Madame D. I was a little- busy this morning." My nose scrunches with distaste at the innuendo.

Madame Dorthea rolls her eyes at him, apparently this is normal banter, because the only thing she says is, "I'm sorry Clary, but it looks like you will be sharing that desk with Jace. Good luck my dear."

I smile at her and walk to the desk in the far right corner, right next to the window. Someone mumbles about trading seats with me, but I don't get a good look at who it is. Before I can even think of grabbing that seat closest to the window, the devil/angel slides into it right in front of me.

"Hope you don't mind," he says as he gives me what I think is supposed to be a charming smile, "but I like the window seat." Ugh, I like to just stare out the window and let my thoughts wander. Now I've got a glorified jerk in the way.

Instead of saying something that will probably only egg him on, even though I want to, I bite my toungue and just sit down in the other seat and pull out my sketch pad. Madame Dorthea starts talking, but I just zone her out. Jace, on the other hand, does not seem to want to be zoned out.

"Okay, glad we're at an understanding," he comments with the slightest bit of confusion as he leans over to my side of the table. "So what's your name?"

"Clary."

"Well Clary, it's your lucky day. I'm Jace." I look at him for the briefest of moments, and now all I see is a boy who thinks he owns the world. My initial wave of adoration has passed. My only response is "I know."

But Jace doesn't seem satisfied with that. "So you've heard of me."

Again, my only response is "yep." I continue to draw on the fresh page of my sketchbook, careful to make sure he doesn't see what I'm drawing.

He continues, "Wow, I didn't think my reputation traveled that quickly. I mean, I'm sure you've only heard good things? My charming smile? My never ending humor? Let's not even start on my looks…," he drags on.

I laugh with a snort, "Oh, and he's modest," I comment sarcastically, "how refreshing." He has a smug look on his face.

Okay Clary, just ignore him. I guess he expected me to say something else, but I don't. Or he expects me to be drooling all over him like the other girls, or giggling while twirling my hair. Ugh.

He's still staring at me, brows pushed together in confusion. He tries to lean over further and asks, "What are you drawing?" I really don't want to talk to him. I want nothing to do with him, so I just give him another one worded response. "Nothing."

"Is it a detailed portrait of yours truly?" He asks confidently.

My response is "nope," even though I have a few other choice things I want to say.

He seems to be getting a little annoyed, and instead of saying anything else, chooses to ignore me until the bell rings. I assume he will head out of class as soon as the bell rings, but he doesn't. He waits until I put my sketchbook and other things away. By the time I am ready to leave, the only students left are me and him. I had ignored him while I was packing, but now he is blocking the doorway.

I sigh, saying, "Can I help you with something?"

He smirks at me. "Actually, I think the question is how I can help you." I just roll my eyes at him with disgust. Yep, he's a player. A manwhore. Who would have guessed…

"I'm not interested." I force a smile.

Again he smirks. "I meant that in a completely innocent way. You're new. I've gone to school here my whole life. Where's your next class?"

It's biology. And I honestly have no clue where to even find the science department. The school is huge. "I can find it on my own. Or I can ask someone else."

He puts his hand to his heart faking hurt. "Ouch Clary, that hurt deep." That earns him another eye roll. "Seriously though, everyone else is pretty much already in class, quit being stubborn."

I huff, but tell him anyways. "Bio with Carstairs."

He smiles at that. "Perfect, I have Bio with Blackthorn. They're right across from each other." Great. I will have to beeline it out of that class before he catches sight of me. He leads me down a maze of hallways. He tries talking to me, but I just stick with one word answers, praying he'll take a hint. There are a few students left in the hallways, some staring at us as we walk by, or should I say as Jace walks by, but he's right, most are already in the classrooms. As we turn another corner, somebody yells "Hey Wayland!"

I don't turn around, but Jace stops. Why?

The smirk is gone from his face, and a slight frown stands in its place. He turns around looking at whoever called his name, a boy with black hair and black eyes, looking at both of us with an almost predatory smile. Then, he turns back to me. "You go ahead. It's right down the hall on the left."

I furrow my eyebrows at him. "Um, thanks? I thought your last name was Lightwood."

His frown deepens more with my words and he answers me in a monotone voice before heading towards that guy.


	4. Sunday Recaps

-Jace-

I've had the same dream for six days straight. Every day since Monday.

I'm in Java Jones.

It's always the same. I walk to the counter, nobody else is in the café, the smell of coffee is in the air, my feet get stuck, and there's the person that turns the corner. Oh, and I see red. The only difference? Now I know what the red is. Red hair. More specifically, the red hair of a certain girl who ignores me at all costs.

A few seconds of the dream seem to be added on every night, and now Clary makes a nightly appearance in my dreams. She's the one turning the corner. She's the one I see in my peripheral vision.

I wake up on Sunday morning remembering that right before the dream ended, the smell of coffee was getting almost intoxicating, and I turned to see who the other person in Java Jones was. It was Clary. She stood right by the corner she had previously turned, and looked at me with a smile. I smiled back, and then… nothing.

I wake up.

I lay in bed staring at my ceiling, thinking about the dream, thinking about how the rest of the first school week has gone. Is it the way I have been planning? Nope. And why is that?

Two words.

Clary Fray.

Izzy and I had hit some unexpected traffic on the way to school on Monday, and we were late. I hate being late. I absolutely loathe being late. And here I was at the start of what was going to be my perfect year being late to stupid art class. I knew I could get away with it, whereas Izzy did not slip into her English class without receiving a tardy. Another thing she added on her list of revenge for me. Great.

I ran to art, making sure nobody saw Jace Lightwood in any other state than calm, cool, and collected. I had taken a five second breather before entering the grand class otherwise known as general art. Everything looked normal as I had entered the room. Everyone turned their heads to look at the intruder, and when they saw it was me, I was either drooled at or glared at. What can I say? I have a reputation and I'm just that stunningly attractive.

I made up some typical 'Jace' excuse as to why I was late, not even noticing the girl standing next to Madame D. Only when my teacher addressed her did I see her. How did I not notice her as soon as I walked in?

This girl was… beautiful. Red hair. Pure, green eyes. Light practically radiated off of her. There was just this- this liveliness. And yet, she was staring at me with this look of contempt.

Madame D apologized to her for her new desk partner, yours truly, as she went to get ready to start the class. Clary was heading towards the only vacant desk by the window.

Oh this was going to be fun.

I slipped into the seat she had been heading towards, and put my most charming and seductive smile on. Instead of blushing, she just took the other seat without a comment. That was weird.

I tried talking to her as Madame D started the class, but she wouldn't budge. All I would get were these really annoying one word answers from her or a sarcastic response whenever I asked her something. Her head was ducked in her sketch book the entire class. Forget about flirting, I was lucky to get a nod. So I gave up for the moment. She was going to be a challenge, and boy did I like a challenge.

I insisted on taking her to her next class, getting absolutely nothing out of her along the way when somebody yelled my name. Well, my old name that is. I could feel myself tense as I turned to see exactly who I had expected, that asshole Sebastian Verlac.

Clary looked at me funny when I told her where her class was. She had asked me something and I had answered automatically. I already had my focus on a certain black haired demon.

I walked over to where he was standing with two other guys whose names I didn't even know. I hated him, and he knew it. He seemed to think that we were alike. I guess you could call him good looking, but really, I'm clearly the more attractive one hands down. We both had had our fair share of girls, but I was nothing like him. I always set the record straight with a girl making it clear that I didn't do relationships. I didn't do anything that involved commitment. I didn't do the whole 'love' thing. I just wanted to have fun. But Sebastian? He would catch a girl with his claws, get her to fall in love with him, and then shatter her heart.

He thought of it as some sick game.

I admit, I had broken many girls' hearts, but only because they thought they could change me or they thought they loved me. They were so sure they'd be the one to make me see 'the light.' Sebastian was twisted. He loved acting sweet and loving, and then he would manipulate and play with the girl's heart until it was as if there was nothing left.

"Verlac," I spat out as I soon as I was close enough for him to hear.

"Wow Wayland, you don't waste time, do you?" He asked as if we were in on some kind of secret.

"As enjoyable as it is trying to delve into your psychotic mind to understand what you mean, I'm going to pass," I said as I turned to leave.

He grabbed my shoulder none too gently and I could feel every muscle in my body tense, ready to fight. "I mean, that you didn't even give the rest of us a fair shot at the new girl and you already have your stamp on her," the other two guys nodded their heads in agreement.

I felt my jaw twitch at that. Clary? She wasn't something to put a stamp on.

"Look," I started, "trust me when I say she's just like the rest of them," I lie, "she's no different than the girls we've already got here." I gritted my teeth. If he knew just how the opposite Clary seemed to be from other girls in the forty five minutes I had known her, she would be a glorious new game for him.

Sebastian smirked at that. "Or… you just want her to yourself. Don't worry, I'll get my chance." He gave me a creepy wink while releasing my shoulder and then walked toward a classroom a little ways down the hallway. I felt what I could only assume was anger wash over me. I expected it to be the kind I get when he makes a snide comment about Izzy, but it felt different. I made a promise then and there that like Izzy, he would not touch Clary as long as I was around.

I kind of brushed off what Sebastian had said as the day progressed, and by the next day it was a thing in the past. Clary though, was exactly the same. She would not give me the time of day.

I tried for two days to talk to her, and all I got were mumbled one word answers while she either worked on her art project or drew in her sketchbook, which she always conveniently kept out of my sight.

Plus, she avoided me.

I would look for her in the halls after Bio, but she'd be gone, or I'd see her red hair bobbing in the crowd of students, rushing to get away. The only time I really saw her was art class or when she was with that nerd. I couldn't remember his name, but he reminded me of a rat… I thought maybe she was just shy or something, so I started to ask around about her.

And I got the same response every time.

"She's so nice."

"She's really funny, and doesn't take crap from anybody."

"Did you hear what she said to Kaelie on the first day?"

Well then why is she ignoring me? My bad reputation? Is she just not interested?

No, that can't possibly be it.

Well, I'll change her mind if it is. I just have to figure out how to get her attention.

And better yet? It seems that Izzy is becoming quick friends with her. I thought of asking her about Clary, but Izzy would see right through me. I have never asked her about a girl before, and asking her about Clary would raise red flags.

Alec ended up not making it back for the weekend, so I couldn't talk to him about it either, not that I would anyways. I don't ever talk to my siblings about that kind of stuff. Actually, Max is really the only one I ever tell what I'm thinking and feeling. I trust Alec and all, but he always has a comment. Max sits and listens, and doesn't judge.

Maybe I'll talk to him later.

Instead, I lay here in bed, thinking about how I am going to catch that red head's attention. Get her to talk to me. I mull it over in my mind, and it's like a light bulb literally clicks in my head.

If she doesn't murder me on the spot, I will get what I want.

I know how to get her attention.

* * *

-Clary-

The first week of school is done. I survived, and I have to say, I think I'm going to like it at Alicante High.

I had recapped everything to Jon the night before when he called. It had been the first time I had talked to him since last Sunday, a week ago. I laughed as he told me how much harder college was compared to high school, and how I should enjoy the 'senior slide' as much as possible. He was stressed, but he seemed happy, and maybe a little relieved, that I was doing okay, as if he truly had expected otherwise.

Mom and Luke had kind of had the same response as well. I don't think any of them thought I would be happy here, even though they had had the smiling faces that first day. Now all anybody was doing was smiling and laughing, it was… nice.

Sometimes when we move, it's like everyone is living in their own world, and it takes a while before we all get back in sync with each other, but not this time. Maybe New York will become a permanent fixture in our lives.

It's early on Sunday as I roll over to look at my alarm clock. 7 AM. Paint and coffee are at it again, waking me up. The smell isn't completely overwhelming, it actually kind of relaxes me, so I roll onto my back and think about the week's events with a smile.

After getting away from Jace, I had gone into Bio to find Simon sitting in the back corner of the room. My goofy grin was mirrored in his face as I walked down to sit next to him.

"This is awesome," he had said, "we can pass out together when we dissect the frogs."

I rolled my eyes at him, "I'm not the one who faints at the sight of blood."

He didn't argue that, just shrugged and asked me how my first class had gone. I told him how Mr. Starkweather had gotten me into two art classes, and how I really liked Madame Dorthea. Then he asked me how I had found this class and managed to get here on time. I was hoping to avoid that.

"Oh," I commented flippantly, "that Lightwood jerk insisted on showing me where it was."

Simon frowned, "You mean Jace?"

I looked at him, and he didn't seem happy. "Don't worry Si, I can see he's a player. I was just the last one in class, and he offered to help me. No biggie." I didn't mention how Jace tried flirting with me. Even if I had told Simon I had ignored Jace's attempts at flirting, I could tell he wouldn't be happy.

Thankfully, he seemed to be content with what I said.

"Okay. So, lab partner, you do realize that we learned all the technical stuff about dissecting last year, so we'll be starting off with it next week."

No. I hadn't realized that, but I had dissected a worm last year down in Florida. Same concept, right?

"Oh don't you worry, I'll catch you when you pass out," I joked while putting a hand to my forehead as if I was fainting.

This time I got the eye roll from him, but he didn't deny it. Dissecting day would be interesting.

I had sat in the cafeteria with Simon at lunch, along with his gamer friend Maia and her boyfriend Jordan. I had met Maia once over the summer one day at Simon's and I had really liked her. She had dark skin and dark hair, and was very laid back, and after talking to Jordan for less than five minutes, I could tell the four of us would get along just fine.

All in all, aside from the encounter with Kaelie and being annoyed by Jace, the first day went great. I told my mom that when I went home, and she let out the breath she had been holding since I had come into the studio to talk to her. She was genuinely happy, something that seemed to be rare sometimes, unless of course, the whole family was together and we hadn't just moved.

Then on Tuesday, I discovered that our little group of four at lunch was going to get some company.

In my efforts to escape the attention of Jace after leaving Bio, I had practically sprinted down the science department hallway, colliding with another person. All of our stuff went flying in every direction in the hall, being trampled by the passing students.

I kept apologizing and saying how much of a klutz I was, because I seriously have two left feet, as I tried to pick the girl's and my stuff up without getting trampled myself.

"Don't worry about it," she laughed as she tried picking up our stuff as well. We were both failing. Sighing in defeat we stood on the side of the hallway until the halls cleared, guaranteeing tardies for us.

"No, now you'll be late," was my only response as we resumed picking up our stuff.

"Eh, it's not like it's the first one, so it's all good," she responded.

I looked at her, and she was very, very pretty. She had a skin tight black skirt on with a flowy pink top. I looked at her feet to see heels with at least five inches. "You're lucky you didn't break your ankle with those shoes when I crashed into you. They look like death machines." I was wearing my light blue converse that day, level with the ground.

She laughed at that, "I'm a pro. No worries," she handed me back a notebook and folder and stretched out her hand to me, "I'm Isabelle. You're the new girl, right?"

I shook her hand, "Yeah, Clarissa, but call me Clary."

"Well Clary," she said as her smile grew, "call me Izzy."

"Nice to meet you Izzy," I smiled as well, "we should get going before we get detention."

"Sounds good," she laughed, "hey, how would you like to join me for lunch?"

I looked at her, confused. "I just literally barreled you over in a hallway full of people and could have sent you to the hospital if you broke your ankle in those heels."

She laughed again, "Call me crazy, but I think we could be good friends."

Funny thing? I had thought the same thing, so I agreed to have lunch with her, and she joined us at our lunch table that day, bringing her friend Aline Penhallow as well. Apparently they normally sit with that girl Kaelie, whom Izzy calls the 'Queen Slut,' but they couldn't stand her.

To make a long story short, Izzy and Aline ate lunch with us every other day this week, and Izzy was right, we were becoming good friends. Everyone got along great at the table, and we practically laughed the entire time. Simon, who didn't talk to anyone really, even chimed into conversations. It looked like Izzy had caught his eye.

I found out Izzy's last name was Lightwood, sister of a certain blonde haired devil who coincidentally was asking around about me in school. I had heard this piece of information from Aline who had mentioned to me on Thursday that Jace was asking people what they knew about me. I'm sure he wasn't finding out anything too interesting. I guess ignoring him was getting under his skin.

I told Izzy on Friday, and she shrugged it off, saying to stay away from him, that he was trouble and she would not allow her brother to hurt her friend.

I already had that covered. I had ignored Jace all this week. I avoided him, muttered vague answers when he asked me something, and tried not to look at him every morning in art. I even bit my tongue whenever a sarcastic remark was begging to slip through my lips, which was very, very often might I add.

I'm not playing his game.

I stare at a picture of Jon and me that we took in Florida sitting on my night stand in my room, thinking about Jace. He does not fit into my plan. I have friends here. I have Simon. I have Izzy. I have Maia, Jordan, and Aline. I do not need the attention of any player to ruin what seems to be the start of a perfect senior year.

You hear that Jace Lightwood? I am not interested.


	5. Late Bells

-Clary-

Turns out general art is the class most seniors take when they have nothing else to put into their schedules, since nobody seems to take any interest in what our assignments are whatsoever. That, or they think it's an easy A.

As opposed to my advanced art class where I can have an intellectual conversation with anybody in the room about an art style, or work of art, or an artist, I can't even mention Picasso in here without someone asking who she is. She? It's a 'he' people.

So, on this lovely Monday morning, I sit in my seat in the desk in the corner of the room by the window, drawing in my sketchbook. I trace some curves across the page where I have started a rough sketch of my mom and Luke how they were this morning before I left. Mom had Luke's glasses propped up on her head as she and Luke came into the kitchen covered in paint after a failed attempt at an art lesson. It seems Luke lacks any sense of artistic ability, but the sight the two of them made was priceless… and a moment I wanted to capture while it was still fresh in my mind.

"Are you working on my nude portrait? Because I can offer my assistance if necessary."

Speaking of people lacking any sense of artistic ability, or any other ability for that matter, other than being extremely annoying.

I turn to glance at Jace, who is still trying to finish our assignment that's due tomorrow. Depth perception is the goal. Jace is lucky that his sort of has a 2D element to it. I finished mine last Thursday.

"Nope," I respond while rolling my eyes.

He tries to look over my shoulder, but again, like the other fifty times he tried that, I hunch my shoulders over so he can't see my sketch.

He huffs, "You know, you may be the most stubborn person I have ever met."

I smile at that, knowing it's probably the truth. Jace Lightwood isn't used to being rejected.

I do feel bad in a sense, because I'm not the type to pass judgment on somebody before I get to know them, but with Jace, it's different. I have heard story after story for the past week about the girls he has hurt and his distant attitude about it all. I don't want any complications this year. I know, I know, listening to the rumor mill is shallow of me, but if it were one or two stories, I'd just ignore it. Listening to tons of stories, plus warnings from his sister, changes things a bit.

And yet, all the stories I hear are about his player reputation.

Who is Jace Lightwood really? Because nobody seems to know anything other than that he gets around. Not even his sister.

Stop it Clary.

Wow, I haven't realized how much attention I've been paying him. I've been listening to story after story, and they're all the same. What am I looking for?

_One that proves them all wrong._

"Miss Fray?" I look up to see Madame Dorthea directing her attention towards me from her desk in the front of the room. "Could you come here for a moment, please?"

I scoot my chair out and stand up, closing my sketch book and placing it at the corner on my side of the desk. I walk up to her and she beckons me over to her side of her desk, where her computer screen is lit up.

"What do you think of having your class do a modern interpretation of this piece for the next assignment?" I chuckle to myself, because she can only mean the advanced art class since I'm looking at a piece by none other than Picasso.

"I think that actually would be really cool," I say, "and depending on what the results are, some really awesome pieces for portfolios can pop up." A surge of pride runs through me that she's asking my opinion at all.

The bell rings signaling the end of first period. Ugh, now Bio. But Madame Dorthea is still on her mindset from before the bell rang.

"Yes, yes. My thoughts exactly," she comments to me as she scrolls through some other Picasso pieces on her computer screen, apparently expecting me to examine them as well. She looks up at her class to see that everyone is gone. Well, everybody but me. "You better get going dear, or you will be late."

It's probably too late for that. I try to subtly run back to my desk and stuff my pencil that I had tucked behind my ear into my bag and sprint out the door. I make it to Bio just as the late bell rings.

At lunch, Izzy is rambling on about something a teacher said to her about her outfit earlier that day.

"I just don't see how it's any of her business," she retorts after Jordan comments on how the teacher had a point saying shiny silver earrings that hung past her shoulders and clanged when she moved were a distraction to the class.

Before Jordan can even say another word Izzy seems to be over it and on to a new subject, but it's just background noise to me. I'm already thinking of ideas for this art assignment I'll be getting later today.

"Clary!" I jerk my head up to see five amused smirks facing me. "What?"

"I said," Izzy repeats, "are you going to Pandemonium on Friday?" Pandemonium?

"Um… what exactly is that?" I ask, completely confused. Izzy and Aline just gape at me.

Izzy seems to snap out of it first and says, "You're telling me that you've missed the neon signs around the school and people talking about it for a week!?" I look around the cafeteria real quick to see signs hung everywhere advertising PANDEMONIUM! on them. Huh, I guess so.

"Seriously, what is it?" I direct the question towards Maia, since she's the only girl here not looking at me like an alien.

She laughs and says, "It's the annual 'back to school' dance. We have one every year, only this year they switched it up so that the girls ask the guys to the dance," she nudges Jordan as she finishes.

Oh. "So kind of like a Sadie Hawkins type thing?" I get nods from everyone else at the table. "I take it Maia asked you Jordan?"

"You bet," he grins as he places a kiss on her cheek. "And what about you Izzy? Aline?"

"I asked Meliorn last week," Izzy replies. I have no clue who that is. Aline lets out a dramatic sigh and says she can't go because her family is going to visit her older sister this weekend, and they're leaving right after school on Friday.

I turn to the only other person at the table who hasn't said a thing the whole time we were on the subject. "Are you going Simon?" I ask curiously, because he hasn't mentioned anything about it to me.

He looks like he's blushing as he shakes his head no and reaches to grab his drink.

"Well, do you want to go with me?" He spits out the juice he had just taken a sip of. "I mean," I add while Aline and Izzy grimace at the mess he made, "just as friends. The two amigos…"

He recovers enough to look at me, his face flaming red now, kind of like my hair. "Uh- Um- Yeah- I mean absolutely- I mean-," he stutters as I start to giggle.

He takes a breath and a moment to collect himself before he smiles at me. "Of course Clary, it'll be fun… I've never been, so it'll be a first." I smile back at him. It will be a fun night.

Izzy claps her hands together. "Oh! This is perfect! Now you can come to my house and get ready, oh, I'll give you a makeover and everything." I shoot Maia a panicked look, knowing she will understand my terror. Let's just say Izzy and I really don't have the same style, proven by the fact that she is currently wearing six inch stilettos in school while I have a pair of converse that I drew all over on. I get an understanding smile.

"Easy Iz, one step at a time. I just can't believe this is the first I'm hearing about it," I mutter out. Am I that oblivious?

The bell rings and everyone gets up. "It's because you always have that head of yours stuck in your sketchbook, Clare," Jordan jokes as everyone starts to walk towards the exit.

Wait a minute. I stop dead in my tracks.

My sketch book!

I walk back to the table and throw my bag onto it, whipping the zipper open to find that my sketchbook isn't there.

No. No, no, no, no.

This isn't happening.

Calm down Clary, calm down. I turn to see all of my friends have left.

Think Clary, where is the last place you saw it?

In art. I had left it on my desk when Madame Dorthea had called me up, and now that I think of it, it wasn't on my desk when I ran to grab my stuff real quick.

The only person who was even close to it was… realization hits me.

That bastard.

I'm going to kill him.

I storm out of the exit into the hallway, looking for a flash of blonde hair to catch my eye, and when I see it, I shove my way through the students trying to make it to class on time.

He must see me coming, because he's looking at me with that damn smirk on his face.

"Give it back," I whisper menacingly as I stick my hand out.

His smirk doesn't waver as he says, "Why Clary, what ever do you mean?"

I stare in exasperation at him. "My sketchbook," I sputter out, "you took it during art. Give it back now." I shove my hands into his chest as hard as I can.

My every nerve is on end. I need that book back. Did he look in it?

"Oh…" he snaps his fingers, "you mean this?" He pulls out my sketchbook, and puts it out of my reach as I try to grab it from him.

"Yes," I grit through my teeth, my blood is boiling and I feel anger tears pricking at the backs of my eyes. Don't cry Clary. He's just being stupid.

By now, the halls have emptied as everyone makes it to class. It's just me and him.

I try again to grab it, but Jace twists his arm away and manages to get my book into his other hand, again, out of my reach. "What's in this book that I can't take a peek at, huh? I bet there's at least one picture of me, right?" He smiles at me like it's just a joke, and maybe to him it is. But not to me.

He is teasing. This is his way of talking to me because I won't any other way.

But this is cruel, and he doesn't even see it.

"Please," I beg, "just give it back." I don't beg, ever, but I was desperate to get my sketchbook back before he looked inside.

Damn my height. I could feel my anger reaching a breaking point.

"JACE! Give it back now!" I scream at him as he's about to open to a random page. I push against the arm that is holding me back and knock the book out of his grasp onto the floor, landing face up opened to a random page.

He looks at me with confusion and then we both look down at the sketch facing up at us.

Any sketch but that one. He could have seen any other sketch.

His expression turns to shock as he turns his attention back to me. The hall is silent and I refuse to look at Jace, who is staring at me. I scramble to the ground to close the sketchbook and gather it in my arms.

"Clary I-"

"Don't." I whisper, because that is all I am capable of. Traitor tears try to escape my eyes, but I refuse to let them. He will not see me cry. Nobody ever sees me cry.

He's still looking at me with that same expression, and I want to smack it right off his face.

"Clary, I didn't mean-"

"I said don't!" The strength is back in my voice.

Rage. Pure rage settles in me as I take a step toward him. He takes a step back toward the lockers.

"What! I wouldn't talk to you so you take the one thing that I like to keep private!? I wouldn't gape at your perfection so you had to knock me down a few steps to get the upper hand?"

He pales. "No, that's not-," but I cut him off.

"Am I some stupid challenge to you? See if maybe you can get to second or third base with me? Because EVERYONE knows how Jace Lightwood can get ANY girl he wants in this damn school. Hell, they come crawling to you. But no, I didn't bite, so you needed a way, some way to make me see that I'm just like everyone else. Just like every other girl, and since you can get with every other girl, you can get with me."

He doesn't say a word.

"So then," I continue because the words are flowing freely now, my fiery temper getting the better of me, and I know I'm going too far, but so did he, "why not take her sketchbook? Why not take what she stores her most personal thoughts in? It doesn't say diary on the cover so clearly it's okay to take and make a prank out of, right? Well? Say something you ass."

He opens his mouth, but then closes it again.

"You know what Jace? You can go to hell." I turn around to leave, but Jace grabs my arm to try to turn me around.

I whip my arm away.

"Don't," I seethe. "Do not touch me. Do not speak to me. Do not look at me. Do not even think about me."

I know I've overreacted, but right now, I just don't care. I'm sure I'll feel bad once I calm down.

"Just," my voice breaks, "leave me alone, Jace. Please just leave me alone."

His eyes move from the ground to me.

Another reason to stay away from Jace Lightwood. One more reason not to trust him.

This time when I turn away, he doesn't try to stop me. He just stares as I walk away clutching my sketchbook to my chest for dear life.

_One that proves them all wrong._

I don't know why I want one to exist, but now I'm not sure there is.

I hear the late bell ring.


	6. Earn It

-Jace-

I didn't mean it. God, I screwed up.

I swear that I didn't think she would react like that. I knew she would be angry, but…

I stand there in the hallway staring after Clary as she walks down the hallway away from me, her shoulders hunched protectively over her book.

_Go after her Jace._

But I don't. I just stand there.

She yelled at me to say something, and the words were running through my head, but they failed to ever make it to my mouth. I stood there like an idiot while she screamed at me. Her beautiful face contorted with rage. That beautiful face.

I watch her red hair sway back and forth, and all I want to do is go apologize. I made her angry. I made her upset. I hate it, because now she definitely hates me.

What's the matter with me? I've pissed off loads of girls before. I've made tons cry, and I've never cared about that. I've never apologized. Why should this be any different? She didn't even cry. Ugh, I don't know.

The hallway's clear since the late bell has already rang. Thank god we didn't put on a show for any nosy students in the halls. Nobody needed to see Clary like that.

Or me acting like a complete ass.

Ha. Like they haven't seen that before.

I'm not going to class though. I can't. My thoughts are in a million places and nowhere at all at the same time. I just wanted her to talk to me. But why did that even matter? There are so many other girls willing to throw themselves at me and do much more than just, well, talk. And I admittedly have done more with them than just talk.

Was she right? Yeah, I thought she was a challenge, but was that why I wanted her to talk to me? Because I have never tried to get a girl to talk to me, they normally just come on their own accord.

I start making my way down the hallway in the opposite direction that Clary went.

Honestly, all I can think about is how hurt she looked when she talked about me putting her beneath me, like she was nothing.

_I wouldn't gape at your perfection so you had to knock me down a few steps to get the upper hand?_

That's not what I wanted. I just wanted her to talk to me.

She's everything.

Oh man.

I run my hand through my hair and make my way out into the courtyard that's set up in the middle of the school and sit down beneath a tree. You'd think it'd be difficult to have a bunch of trees in the middle of a high school in New York. Apparently not.

I thought taking her sketch book would ruffle her up a little bit. I knew she would know it was me and come looking for it. I hadn't looked in it, I swear, but the way she was acting when she confronted me made me want to take a look. She's so sweet and innocent, sarcasm and feistiness aside, what else could be in there but doodles of flowers and puppies? I didn't realize how upset she was until she literally slammed herself into my arm so that I wouldn't see what was inside. I kind of hoped I was in there somewhere, even though I had joked about it on the first day, and this morning.

I just meant to tease her. That's it.

But then I looked down to see the sketch the book was opened up to, and it was not what I expected. And looking at Clary's face, she was horrified that I had seen this sketch in particular.

It was a back view of a younger, miniature Clary kneeling in a cemetery in front of a gravestone. It was just her, but there were these black cloaked figures standing around her. It looked like their eyes weren't there, just indents where they should be, like they were gouged out, and their mouths were sewn shut. Ghosts? Spirits? Demons? I couldn't tell if they were after her or just watching her. The sketch was all in black and white, except for the accent of red that was Clary's hair.

It was… depressing beyond belief, seeing a child surrounded by such morbid things. It sent chills down my spine.

She looked at me like it was the worst possible thing I could have seen. I mean, yeah, I was really confused. Clary is always so light and happy, who would think she would draw something so… dismal. None of her artwork she does in class is like that, trust me, I've paid close attention to her pieces in art since I could never get a look in the sketch book.

My god, what is with me?

In hindsight, I don't think it's that big of a deal that I saw the sketch, she's still Clary to me. Now I'm just more curious.

_Why not take what she stores her most personal thoughts in?_

That's why she was upset. I invaded her privacy.

I wanted to apologize, say that I wasn't doing it to be mean. I wasn't going to make fun of her, but she wouldn't listen. She exploded and then she left completely deflated, and now I knew what she thought of me. What she thinks I see her as, and it's not true.

She's different.

I sit under that tree for the rest of the day until the end of last period. Nobody even tries to question me or come looking for me. I ignore everyone and head straight for my car where Izzy is waiting for me. I can practically see the rage radiating off of her.

"Before you-," I try to say as she storms toward me.

I feel the sting on me cheek as she slaps her hand across my face. My head jerks to the side and all I can think is that I wish Clary had done that instead of yelling and looking absolutely defeated.

"What, in the name of the angel, were you even thinking Jace!?" She speaks in a normal voice, but the anger is crystal clear.

I sigh in defeat and look her straight in the eye. "I don't know Iz, I didn't think she would react like that."

"You didn't think period," she says as she guides me towards the passenger seat of the car, I guess she's driving. She walks in front of the car and gets into the driver's seat and then continues. "That book is her prized possession. She doesn't let anyone even close to it. Not even Simon." But she left it in the open right next to me, and I took advantage of it.

I look at her again, not knowing what to say. There's really only one thing I need to know. "Is she okay?"

Izzy sighs. "She's fine. She's pissed, but she's fine. I ran into her walking towards the bathroom as pale as can be, and that's saying something with how light her skin is, but she was pretty calm. I think she's angrier with the fact that you took it as a way of getting back at her."

"But that wasn't the reason!" I exclaim. Why is that so hard to believe?

"Then what was the reason, Jace? Huh?" She's turning the key in the ignition, but her gaze is locked with mine.

And I tell her the truth, because I need her to understand I wasn't trying to hurt Clary at all. "I just- I just wanted her to talk to me." She must see something when I look at her, or she's shocked that that's the reason, because she looks at me with surprise in her face.

"You don't care if girls talk to you. All you care about is if they're willing to let you into their pants," she states matter of factly.

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

"She's different," is all I say.

Izzy gives me a look that's almost sympathetic, and then she looks into the rearview mirror to back out. "Well Jace, you really screwed up then."

I don't say anything, just look out the window to see that red head laughing as she walks down the street away from the school with that rat boy, like she wasn't screaming at me a few hours before. At that moment, I would give anything to be in rat boy's place.

* * *

I spend Tuesday and Wednesday trying to talk to Clary every chance I get. Trying to just apologize, but as opposed to before when I would get one word answers or a bit of sarcasm, now I get nothing. It seems nobody is really aware of the whole debacle since Clary came back the next day completely fine, like nothing happened. She treats everyone the same. Everyone except me.

"Clary, please let me explain," I say in art class on Thursday morning. I've said the same thing for the past two days.

She doesn't look at me. Those emerald green eyes don't even glance in my direction. She doesn't even acknowledge that I said anything in the first place. So I continue the same way I have for the past two days, telling her that I wasn't trying to get back at her, and that I wouldn't tell anybody about the sketch. I don't think I have said 'I'm sorry' so much in my life.

Silence is the only thing that greets me.

And worse than that? She doesn't even sketch in art anymore. She won't even pull it out of her bag.

She trusted me.

She trusted me even the slightest bit to sketch with me next to her, even more to leave it on the desk when Madame D had called her up, and I used it.

I completely destroyed that trust, and I wanted it back so, so desperately.

My dream has stopped continuing too. I still have it every night, and more was added until Monday night. Now, after Clary smiles at me, she walks over and I can see fear in her expression, fear and worry.

" _You'll protect me right?" She asks it like I'm the only one she wants to protect her._

" _Of course I will Clary," I reply without even thinking. I reach out to touch her face but she whips her head around as if she hears something and tears start rolling down her face. "Promise me," she states when she looks back at me._

_I can feel my face scrunch up with worry at the terror that has spread across her face. "Clary, I will protect you with my life." And I can feel how true that is, even though it's just a dream._

_And then I hear a noise too and Clary flinches, the terror clear in her eyes. She looks up at me, as if she's going to warn me about something._

And then I wake up.

Same ending. Every night since Monday.

Yeah, some protector I am.

The dream must've shaken me up a bit, because I broke last night and actually asked Izzy for Clary's number, but she refused, after looking at me like I had ten heads. "You want to fix this?" She said. "Then you figure it out. She's my friend. I don't care if you're my brother, you were an ass, and if you really want her forgiveness, then work for it."

That's just it. I have been working for it. I think. I've been so consumed with Clary that I, Jace Lightwood, haven't even given another girl my attention for the entire week. What the hell is going on with me?

"Jacey." As if on cue, Kaelie comes strolling towards the back of the room to mine and Clary's desk. I may be a jumble of emotions on the inside, but I put my signature smug look on and give her a wink.

"What's up Kaelie?" I really don't care.

She leans herself over my side of the desk, putting her body on display for me, and I see Clary look over at me with her nose scrunched before looking back down. Great, now she looks at me. "I just wanted you to know that I'm wearing pink tomorrow night, so we better match, kay?" She leans forward so her chest is practically spilling out of her shirt.

I give her a confused look. "Uh, tomorrow?"

She looks like I insulted her. "Yes tomorrow! Remember? Pandemonium?"

Oh right. Dammit. She asked me last week and I had said yes because we've had a good time together here and there. I had other offers, no surprise, but Kaelie's normally pretty entertaining.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and look towards the ceiling. "Sorry, right. Pink. Got it." Not happening.

She smiles and runs her hand over my chest before saying, "Looking forward to it, since we had  _such_  a good time together this summer." And then she glances over at Clary. I just want her to leave. I don't want Clary to hear any of this.

"Yeah, I'll pick you up tomorrow. See ya then?" She pouts, very unattractively, before getting up and walking away. Trying to walk seductively I think.

I let out a sigh.

And then I hear laughing coming from next to me. Not just any laugh, Clary's laugh.

She's looking at me and I think she's completely lost it because she just keeps laughing and laughing, but only loud enough so that she doesn't attract attention. My face must display my confusion because she tries to control her laughs. Honestly though, I don't want her to stop. Her laugh is perfect.

"Are you, uh, okay?" I ask tentatively.

She calms down enough so that she can speak, but she's still giggling a little bit.

"I'm- I'm fine," she says while her green eyes scan my face.

"Uh, are you sure?" I am speechless, yet again because of this girl. Speechless and dumbstruck. But she's talking to me.

"Yep," she says as another fit of giggles takes over, "it's just- just-," she tries catching her breath, "you are the  _last_  person I could imagine being man enough to wear pink." What?

"Real men don't wear pink," I say, stating the obvious. How can anybody think a guy wearing pink is manly?

She rolls her eyes at me.

I clear my throat and try to speak. Time to press my luck. "Clary? I really want to-"

"Jace," she stops me, her giggling is gone, "if I hear 'I'm sorry' one more time from you, I think I might explode."

Well there goes that plan.

I look at her, completely at a loss at what to say. No girl has ever made me like this.

"Then what can I do?" I ask, all sincerity in my voice.

She looks at me with all the honesty in the world in her eyes, "You earn it."

Earn it? How the hell am I supposed to do that? My face must convey my thoughts because she laughs saying, "Don't give yourself a headache over it hot shot. You'll figure it out."

"Haven't you punished me enough with the cold shoulder?"

She frowns slightly, saying, "I'm not interested in punishment Jace. Plus," she says with a smirk that could outdo one of mine, "If I were interested in punishment, I think going with Kaelie to Pandemonium is punishment enough."

At that, I do chuckle. "Oh, I can think of a few better ways for you to punish me," I say with a wink. Yep, I am definitely pushing my luck.

She rolls her eyes, but if I'm not mistaken, I can see a slight blush on her cheeks. It makes her more beautiful, if that's even possible.

I have no clue what to say or what to do to earn her forgiveness. I want to ask her about the sketch, but I figure that I shouldn't push my luck more than I already have.

"Can you at least give me a hint?" I say in a joking manner.

Her eyebrows lift up on her forehead. "Oh? Should I make a treasure map or something?" She asks with her usual sarcasm.

Yes, that would be ideal.

"Dance with me tomorrow night." Whoa, where did that come from? It slips out of my mouth before I can even think about not saying it. I'm an idiot.

"Excuse me?" Her voice rises a few octaves. Nice Jace, you're treading on dangerous waters and you literally throw your luck out the window.

I give her the honest truth, well, the partial truth. I guess if I'm going to earn her trust and forgiveness, this is a start. "You have to rescue me even for a little bit from my, um, date," I mutter the last word while glancing over at Kaelie, who is currently preoccupied with staring at me and glaring at Clary.

Clary glances in the same direction I am looking and laughs with amusement. "How do you even know that I'm going tomorrow night?"

"Wait, you're not going?"

Because I would have taken you in a heartbeat.

Oh my god Jace, you need to stop it.

"Well I didn't know about it until Monday, but, yeah, I'm going. I asked Simon." I feel a twist in my gut, but who else would she have asked? Izzy says that Clary and Simon are extremely close, but I can't help that feeling. I think it's… jealousy? No, I don't get jealous. I make people jealous.

"Oh," I try to keep my voice nonchalant, "well then there's no excuse to not have one dance with me."

Screw luck, I'm just grateful she's actually talking to me. If she slaps me right now, I'd be grateful for the five minutes of normal conversation with her.

She sighs, but there's a hint of a smile on her lips.

"We'll see."

I give her a huge smile, and she just stares at me.

"What is it?" I run my hand over my mouth to see if I have pencil smudges from my art project on my face, but there's nothing there.

I don't know what I could have done for her to look at me like that. She shakes her head and looks away, but a smile spreads across her face.

"Nothing," and then the bell rings.

"Well Miss Fray, prepare to be wooed," I remark as we stand up from our desk.

I don't know what angels are watching over me that have given me this string of luck, but I'm going to take it and run with it.

She gives me another eye roll, saying "Good luck with that," and walks away heading down the hall.

I feel ten times lighter just standing there watching her red hair sway against her back.

I smile one more time and then start walking in the same direction.

I want that dance tomorrow night.

Operation 'Earn Clary's Forgiveness' is a go.


	7. Complications & Realizations

-Clary-

" _What_  did you just say?"

Izzy shouts as she jumps to her feet, attracting the attention of students nearby. I let out a heavy sigh as we sit at our usual table at lunch, knowing Izzy heard exactly what I had just said.

"I said, I'm not going to Pandemonium tonight." Izzy stares at me with her mouth wide open as if I told her I planned on wearing jeans to the dance tonight, well, if I were going that is.

"And  _why_ are you not going tonight?" She asks a second after she catches herself with her mouth hanging open. I have already explained this to her.

"Iz, I told you. We dissected today in Bio, and Simon passed out. He went to the nurse and was sent straight home. He texted me a few minutes ago saying he's still not feeling well and isn't up for going to the dance tonight."

Yep. Dissecting day was today and Simon kept true to his word. I didn't even get the scalpel close to our frog pinned onto the lab table when I looked over at Simon, who was white as a sheet. I had asked him if he was okay, to which he responded he was fine. Long behold, he was not fine. Two seconds later I was trying to keep him from falling to the ground while simultaneously trying not to accidently cut him with the scalpel still in my hand.

Me. Clumsy Clary Fray was trying to keep her much taller best friend up right while holding a dangerous weapon.

He'd been texting me apologizing profusely, saying he felt awful, both from falling ill and leaving me dateless. I told him it was fine and that he should rest up and read some Manga. That always seemed to make him feel better.

"But- I mean, you can't- You have too!" Izzy is still standing, and still attracting attention. Aline had ended up skipping today, so at least I'm not dealing with her wrath too.

"Yeah Clary, you have to go," Maia says, much more calmly than Izzy does. She and Jordan have been relatively quiet since I explained what happened to Simon, but Izzy made up for their quietness.

"Yes! You have to! I already bought your dress," which I told her not to do, "and your shoes," which I also told her not to buy, "and your make up!" Yeah… Izzy has poor listening skills. I had just planned on wearing an old dress of mine until Izzy informed me that she had found  _the_  dress for me. I told her I'd pay her back, but she had just brushed it off.

I have yet to see this dress, by the way.

I let out another sigh. "Guys, I don't have a date, and it'd be awkward to go alone," even though I had been looking forward to it.

Izzy's eyes light up as she comes up with some genius idea, at least in her eyes.

"I'll be your 'date,'" she says as she puts air quotes around the word 'date.'

At that I laugh. "Iz, you have a date already, remember?" Meliorn. And I still have no clue who that is.

"Oh please," Izzy scoffs as she finally takes her seat at the table again, "I'll just tell him to meet me at the dance. He won't even notice if I don't say a word to him all night. It will be a girl's night out! Please Clary?" She asks while making the puppy dog face.

"Now you've done it Clare," Jordan jokes, "you got her to bring the puppy face out."

I roll my eyes at her, but sigh in defeat. She takes that as a victory and squeals, attracting attention to our table yet again.

"Oh, excellent! So you'll come home with me after school and then we'll start getting ready!"

Izzy's enthusiasm actually gets me excited again, even if she expects to play dress up with me for hours before the dance. It's not a 'two amigoes' night with Simon, but I could go for a girl's night out. Plus, I want to see this dress Izzy has been incessantly talking about since Tuesday. She claims that guys will drool over me in it.

Somehow, I doubt anyone will be drooling over plain old Clary Fray.

But I smile at Izzy, because I am excited, just as her smile falters a little as if she just remembered something.

"Oh."

I look at her quizzically. "Oh?"

"Jace drove me to school today, so we're going home in the same car." Oh. I see what she's saying. I have to go home with Jace, and she knows my current situation with him.

I ignore the conflicting feelings that start stirring inside me at the mention of his name and say, "It's okay Izzy, we're on… better terms, I guess." I can survive a car ride, right?

Izzy gives me a stern look. "From what you've told me, I assume these better terms progressed from a certain conversation in art class yesterday?" I roll my eyes and let out a huff.

"Izzy, I'm giving him a chance for redemption, what's wrong with that?" I had told her about Jace's continuous apologies and our conversation yesterday, to which she told me to proceed with caution, but she said it with a hint of warmth in her eyes, something I hadn't ever seen when she discussed her brother with me.

Jordan and Maia give us confused looks as we get up and head out of the cafeteria. I can tell they want to ask something, but decide not to, one of the many reasons why I like them so much. Nobody but Izzy and Jace know about what happened on Monday. Simon would have freaked out, Maia would have told Jace off, and Jordan may have put in a swing or two for me. It's better if they stay ignorant to the whole situation. For all they know, I'm just putting in more of an effort to ward off Jace's advances.

Mom and Luke could tell there was something wrong when I came home that day, but they knew if I needed to talk, I would come to them. And I definitely was not going to tell Jon. He would have come from Miami just to whoop Jace's ass.

Izzy speaks again, bringing me back to reality.

"There's nothing wrong at all with it," she says in a tone I can't quite identify, like she's aware of something I'm not. "Anyways, meet me in the parking lot after school. Or, I guess if you and Jace are on 'better' terms after he stole your most prized possession and taunted you with it," again with the air quotes, "then by all means find him in the hallway and he'll bring you to the car."

I turn to see if anyone else heard her, but Jordan and Maia are already out of earshot. Thank god.

"Izzy!" I say disapprovingly, but she's already heading in the opposite direction toward Maia and Jordan.

"See ya later Clary!" She waves before turning around, a mischievous smile on her face.

And then I'm alone.

As I head down the opposite hallway, I let those conflicting feelings creep into my mind.

I had been angry. Beyond angry, I was outright pissed that Jace had taken my sketchbook. Worse than that, he had seen one of, if not my most, personal drawings. Nobody has ever seen it. Not even Jon.

I quickly shut out the usual thoughts that come with thinking about that sketch in particular.

I had shunned Jace, refusing to even acknowledge his presence, but he was so… persistent. He kept apologizing and trying to explain to me that he didn't mean to hurt me. I couldn't understand it. No. I can't understand it. He seemed so genuine, and I can't figure out why he felt the need to keep apologizing. I'm sure he's pissed off tons of girls before.

And I was right about feeling bad after I had calmed down. I'm not one to hold grudges, but he had taken my sense of security away when it comes to my book, whether he meant to or not. I haven't brought it to school since that day. I hate it. But giving him the cold shoulder was getting tiring, and the constant 'I'm sorry's' were driving me up a wall.

Why did he want me to talk to him so badly? Why did he want my forgiveness? I was just another girl to him. Just another challenge.

At least, that's what I had thought.

I can't even allow myself the thought that maybe he cares. No. Jace Lightwood doesn't care.

I decided to let him earn my forgiveness. My trust? Probably not. But I can forgive.

I told him that, and his entire face lit up in a way I've never seen before, and for the first time since meeting him, I saw a glimpse at Jace Lightwood the person, not Jace Lightwood the player.

I could see the determination in his eyes, and when he said a typical 'Jace' comment, I actually blushed. What the hell?

And then… he asked me to dance with him tonight. I felt my heart stop for a moment. Why was I reacting like this?

I wanted to say yes. That was the first word to come to mind.

But I didn't.

The practical side of me left him hanging, but even that slight 'maybe' brought a smile to his face.

A smile.

Not a smirk. Not a smug look.

An absolutely beautiful smile that made him look beyond handsome. He was beautiful. I could see how perfect his blonde hair framed his face. How his molten eyes shined with this indescribable light I had never seen. How perfectly in shape his entire body was. How his teeth were perfect, even with a chip in one of them. How he was looking at me.

I just stared. And stared. And stared. And didn't even realize I was staring, until he asked what was wrong and rubbed his face as if I was staring at a smudge or something.

Yeah Jace, I wasn't falling for you- I mean, your charm. I was staring at a smudge.

I still haven't forgiven him, but now these weird feelings are stirring inside me, and I haven't been able to get him out of my head all day yesterday or today. And now I have to get in a car, close quarters, with him?

Oh boy.

I shake my head, trying to straighten out my thoughts.

* * *

Izzy finds me at the end of the day and we head to Jace's car. He's already in the driver's seat with the car on, ready to go.

As we get in, he says a quick 'hey,' and starts backing out. Hey. That's all he had said this morning in art too. Nothing else but the word 'hey.'

I should be content with that. But I'm not.

So I speak.

"Got that pink shirt ready for tonight?" I ask from the back seat of the car. Izzy turns around from the passenger seat to give me a confused look.

"Pink?" She asks while turning to Jace.

He gives me a glare through the rearview mirror, one that tells me he knows I'm joking around.

"Pink," he scrunches his nose and makes a face at the word, and it's the most adorable thing.

Clary, don't think like that.

Jace continues, "Kaelie very eloquently informed me that I must match her tonight." He rolls his eyes at his sister.

Izzy snorts as Jace turns onto the main road, "the day I see you in pink is the day Clary lets me get her into one of my pairs of stilettos."

I laugh at that. "So I take that as never then? Because I will never get into those death contraptions." Jace lets out a laugh at that.

"Exactly," Izzy agrees.

Izzy and Jace live farther away than I thought, and when we pull into the driveway of their house, it takes everything in me to keep my jaw from dropping to the ground.

" _This_  is your house!?" I exclaim as I get out of the car.

This place is, to put it simply, huge.

"Yeah," Izzy states, "why?" We head towards the front door.

"This place is gorgeous!"

The styling of the house is absolute genius. Everything compliments each other, and the different aspects, from the cut of the brick to the trimming around the windows, of the house meld together as one. For living close to the city, this place somehow manages to have land surrounding it on all sides. It's like they managed to find the one place near the city that's still in the country.

How can they not see the masterpiece that is their house?

Jace and Izzy are standing at the open front door as they both turn around to look at me staring at their house like some weirdo.

Izzy gives me an amused look, muttering, "it must be an 'artist' thing," before heading inside. But Jace just stares at me, like he's seeing me for the first time.

I can't identify the look he is giving me, but it makes the blood rush to my cheeks. It's the way I imagined myself looking when he smiled at me yesterday.

Those gold eyes gaze at me, like he's entranced, and then he blinks, and he smirks. He nods his head toward the open doorway and I walk past him into the house, only to become awestruck again at how magnificent the insides of the house look.

"You must be Clary!" A tall, beautiful woman exclaims as she comes out of a doorway into the room I'm standing in. The living room maybe? I immediately know this is Izzy's mother. They look almost identical, like my mother and me.

I smile at her and shake her hand while saying, "Yep, that's me. It's very nice to meet you Mrs. Lightwood."

She gives me a warm smile while saying, "Oh please, my mother-in-law is Mrs. Lightwood. Please call me Maryse."

"Sounds good to me. Your house is absolutely gorgeous."

"Why thank you, we've put a lot of time into getting it just right," she says as she glances around the room. "Anyways, I'm sure you and Izzy have things to do before the dance, so I'll let you go. I don't know where she ran off to, but her room is through that door, down the hallway on the right side."

I turn to see it's just Maryse and I in the room. No Izzy, or Jace, to be found.

"Oh, okay. Well thank you very much Mrs. Li- I mean, Maryse."

She gives me another motherly smile, "You too, sweetheart." And then she heads out the door she had entered from.

As I'm about to open the door that Maryse had directed me toward, it swings open, and a little boy nearly pummels right into me.

"Oh! Hello," I shout in surprise. I look at the boy, who can't be more than ten. He's tall for his age, and skinny, with glasses askew on his nose. He reminds me of Simon.

"Who are you?" He asks as he takes a step back to look at me.

"I'm sorry," I laugh, "you must be Max. I'm Clary," I say as I extend my hand to him. Izzy had told me about her two other brothers. Max, the younger one, and Alec, the older one.

Recognition lights up in his eyes. "Oh! You're Clary! Wow, you are pretty. And your hair does look like fire," he says with more excitement than I expected.

I chuckle, "Izzy told you about my hair?" And that I'm pretty? That's strange.

Max's eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. "Izzy? No, Jace did."

"Jace?" I stutter out, "he told you that?" Why on Earth would Jace tell his brother about me?

"Yeah, you're special," he states matter of factly, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Um, thank you," I say, trying to control the surprise in my voice, "you're special too." What am I supposed to say?

Max just giggles at my, um, compliment. "No, I mean, you're special to Jace." A second wave of shock rolls over me.

"And why do you say that?" I ask, because I'm so confused, and I can feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

Max seems to be confused now too, like he doesn't get why I don't understand. "Jace tells me everything, but he never talks about girls. I think he thinks that I still believe girls have cooties," he says while rolling his eyes, "only nine year olds believe that kind of stuff." I can't help but smile at his innocence, if only he knew about Jace and his relationships with girls.

"But he talks about you all the time."

"He- he does?" I hardly get the words out. "Wh- what does he say?" I ask as an afterthought.

Max shrugs his shoulders like it's not important. Oh, but it's so important to me, as evidence by the butterflies fluttering inside me. "Just how you're really pretty, and you're going to be an artist someday who sells paintings. Lots of stuff. He thinks your freckles are cute, but I don't get that. I thought puppies are supposed to be cute, not freckles."

If I thought I was blushing, before, that was nothing compared to the blush that spreads over my cheeks at Max's words. Jace really told him those things?

"Anyways," Max brings me out of my thoughts, "I'm happy you're here. Jace says he did something bad that hurt your feelings. He was really sad about it, but he wouldn't tell me what he did. You forgave him, right?"

Oh the simpleness of a ten year old. "No, not yet."

"Well," he says as he heads towards the door his mom had gone through, "you should." And then he walks through the door, leaving me to go through the other door toward Izzy's room.

* * *

After two hours of plucking eyebrows, and brushing, pinning, and hairspraying hair, and applying a thousand and one different products to my face. Izzy looks at me like she just completed a masterpiece.

"Oh my god, I truly am amazing," her face gleams with pride.

I let out an exasperated sigh as I turn to look in the mirror, and I gasp. It's like I'm not even staring at my reflection, but the reflection of a girl with red hair who actually is beautiful.

"Iz…" I stammer out, "you really are amazing." Her smile widens if that's even possible.

"Now the final touch," she comments as she heads toward her closet and pulls out a bag that must be my dress. She pulls it out of the bag, and my breath catches.

"Izzy…" is all I can say. She hands me the dress as I slip out of one of her extra robes and into the dress.

I stare at myself in the mirror. I actually look… pretty. My hair is in long, wavy curls down my back, not its usual frizzy mess, and my face doesn't look as pale as normal, and my freckles are hardly noticeable.

_He thinks your freckles are cute._

I blush thinking about Max's words. Why had Jace said those things?

What will he think when he sees me?

And don't get me started on the dress. Its emerald green color compliments my hair perfectly. It has halter style straps that lead to a tight bodice that fits my body perfectly. It makes me look, dare I say, a little curvy, even though my curves are nonexistent. At my hips the tight bodice gradually becomes a flowy skirt that cuts a ways above my knees. On anybody else it would have looked risqué, but my height actually works to my advantage. And Izzy found heels that I can walk in, two inches high. I actually look taller.

"Izzy, I can't even begin-"

"Clary," she stops me before I can thank her, "that's what friends are for."

I turn to her, and she's already ready, dressed to perfection in a tight fitting white dress and her six inch stilettos. She looks beautiful as always. Her words touch me, because though I have had friends at my other schools, Izzy is different. Just like Simon is different. So instead, I hug her.

"Clary! You'll ruin your makeup!" She exclaims, but I don't let go, and then she's hugging me back.

"Okay, let's go. I'm sure mom wants pictures before we go…" she says in a dramatic voice.

Right before we enter the living room, we can hear Maryse, Max, and Jace talking on the other side of the doorway. The feelings that had erupted before come rushing back, and the butterflies start fluttering again at the thought of seeing Jace.

 _What_  is going on with me?

We walk in, and the talking ceases.

"Oh!" Maryse shouts while clapping her hands together and smiling. "Gorgeous! Absolutely gorgeous!"

Izzy continues with how she is a genius, but I'm too busy staring at Jace, who is giving me the same look he was giving me before, only this time, I can see that part of it is wonder. We just keep staring at each other, and the intensity in his eyes makes me forget that his family is in the room.

My breath catches at the sight of him.

He's dressed in a white button down with a black tie, black jacket, black pants, and black shoes. No pink. His clothes make his messy hair and molten eyes look like they're glowing. An angel. He doesn't look like a demon.

He looks like an angel.

Then Maryse breaks the trance. "Okay! Picture time!"

I turn my eyes to Maryse, but I can still feel Jace's instense gaze on me. I see Izzy walk over to Jace out of the corner of my eye and whisper something in his ear that in turn makes him glare at her, and not the playful one I had gotten in the car.

And so we take pictures. Tons and tons of pictures.

Izzy and me.

Izzy and Jace.

Jace, Izzy, and Max.

Izzy, Max, and me.

We are exhausted by the end. As we are getting ready to leave, and I am sending some pictures I had gotten on my phone to Jon, my mom, and Luke, Maryse gasps.

"Wait! We need the three seniors together! How could I forget that!?"

Izzy looks over at me and rolls her eyes. "Okay mom.  _Last_  one, okay?"

Izzy, Jace, and I head over in front of Maryse, with Izzy in the middle.

"No, no," Maryse shakes her head, "Jace, you go in the middle and balance it out."

Izzy whips her head toward Jace, who is looking at me apprehensively.

"Mom," Izzy starts, "I don't think-"

"Hush Izzy, would you deny a loving mother the perfect picture?"

"But-" Izzy tries.

"No buts. Come on Jace, get in the middle of Clary and Izzy and put your arms around one another like you actually like each other."

Oh Maryse, if you only knew the complications.

My eyes are locked with Jace's as he moves towards the middle. He hasn't said a word. He slips one arm around Izzy, and the other around my waist.

And it's like my skin is on fire.

Everywhere, and I mean everywhere, Jace's arm even so much as brushes against me is blazing with heat. Like a shock went through my body.

I have  _never_  felt this before. Not even when I had shoved myself into his arm to stop him from looking at my book.

I am hyper aware of every place our bodies touch.

Our eyes are still locked. Does he feel it too?

_Snap!_

"Jace and Clary! Look at the camera," Maryse commands.

We break the gaze and smile for the camera. As soon as I hear the snap, I step away as fast as I can from Jace's touch.

"I- I, um- forgot something in your room Izzy. I'll be right back," I mutter as I bolt out of the living room.

What is going on?

What the  _hell_  is going on?

I almost make it to Izzy's door when someone grabs my hand and twirls me around.

And now my hand feels like it is on fire.

"Clary," Jace breathes out, as if he chased me down the hallway, and hearing and seeing him like this is clouding my thoughts even more.

"What is it Jace?" I whisper out, trying to muster up a little bit of control in my voice.

"I just wanted to tell you- tell you that- you look- beautiful," his voice wavers ever so slightly, "no, more than that." He leans his face close to mine, and then moves his lips toward my ear.

"You look absolutely stunning." He whispers like there is nothing in the world he is more sure about.

He pulls away to meet my gaze, still holding onto my hand. But it's not just my hand or waist that feels like it is on fire now. My entire body is flaming with heat.

He steps away and heads back into the living room.

"Thank you," I whisper breathlessly, to the empty hallway.


	8. Pandemonium

-Clary-

1, 2, 3, 4…

I count to sixty. Sixty seconds. One Minute.

I try to calm my heart beat down, try to clear my thoughts enough that I can form coherent sentences.

I'm still standing in the exact same spot that I was when Jace left me when Izzy comes through the door Jace had left through.

 _Jace_.

"Clary, are you ready?" She asks, giving me a strange look. I must look flustered. The heat I felt when Jace was near me has died down, leaving me tingly, and wanting it back at the same time.

_You look absolutely stunning._

"Yeah, I'm fine Iz," I say as a newfound blush surfaces on my cheeks thinking about Jace's words and how close he was to me. How close his face and his lips were to mine.

"Well," Izzy says with a smirk, "I'm glad I kept your makeup minimal, with all the blushing you've been doing." This leads me to blush even more and glare at Izzy.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I mutter out as I walk past her back into the living room.

"You're a bad liar Clary Fray," Izzy sings in an annoyingly high pitched voice, following me into the room. I choose to ignore her teasing and my eyes immediately scan the room, looking for the boy who has me so, so confused.

But he's not there, and I can't help the disappointment that washes over me.

My god. Jace Lightwood, what are you doing to me?

Maryse and Max are still in the room, and upon our reentry, Maryse mentions that Jace went to go pick up Kaelie and that he told Maryse to tell us that he'd see us at the dance. Even more disappointment washes over me at the thought of Jace spending all night with Kaelie. I can't even deny the fact that I wish it was me.

I don't know what's going on with me. Never,  _never_ , have I felt like this with anyone before. And of all people, it's Jace Lightwood. It's not even the fact that he's a player anymore. It's the fact that I know he doesn't care for me, that he couldn't possibly care for me the way I'm starting to feel for him.

He'll break my heart. Izzy has said just as much about why I should stay away from him.

He's Jace, and he has been with so many girls, who I can only imagine are beautiful, and I'm Clary. There's no comparison.

Now I think that I don't need to push Jace away to avoid his advances, I need to do it to protect myself. Protect my heart, protect my feelings, and protect myself from being hurt.

He just told me I was beautiful because of what Izzy did, making me look like this. That's the only reason.

We say our goodbyes to Max and Maryse, and I tell them how nice it was to meet them. Izzy brings me through the kitchen toward the back of the house and out the back door where her car is located. And though I shouldn't have been surprised by anything at the Lightwood house, I'm shocked yet again.

"What are those?" I ask, pointing to three small warehouse type buildings located further back behind the house. The land back here is endless. It's like we're looking at farmland, which I still don't understand with us being within thirty minutes of New York City.

The buildings kind of look like storage units, but I can't tell from here. "It's just stuff for Mom and Dad's work," Izzy comments as we head toward her car. Izzy has never said much about her parent's job before.

"And what do they do?" My curiosity gets the better of me.

Izzy shrugs her shoulder, "just some stuff for the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I'm not really sure what, it's kind of boring." Leave it to Izzy to be completely oblivious to something not involving fashion or a cute boy. "It's basically storage, I guess. I haven't been in them in forever. Jace, Alec, and I would explore them when we were younger."

I let it go, because clearly Izzy's mind is somewhere else. We slide into the front seats of her car, and head back towards the school where the dance is being held. Izzy rambles on about everything ranging from how great we look and how guys will be following us around like lost puppies, to how Meliorn said he'd meet her as soon as she got to the dance. She had texted him saying she would meet up with him there and not to worry about picking her up. She was surprised at how he seemed kind of upset about it. I guess it wasn't going to be much of a girl's night after all.

Izzy continues with her rambles, and I nod or hum my agreement at the appropriate times, but I am really only half listening. My mind wants to keep wandering to Jace. He truly looked perfect all dressed up, and those darn butterflies start fluttering again at the thought of seeing him at the dance.

And dancing with him….

I wonder if he forgot, or if he doesn't want to now, because he didn't mention it at all since yesterday. I try not to think of the disappointment I would feel.

"Clary, are you even listening to me?" Izzy huffs out in frustration.

"Sorry, what?"

"What did Jace say to you after you practically flew out of the room after that picture? He ran after you as soon as you left, and don't tell me you forgot something in my room, because you didn't." Her gaze pierces me. There's no getting out of this.

"I- Um- He just-," I sputter out, not sure what to say.

Izzy starts laughing. "Wow. Forget I even asked," she says with a wink, "although, that was pretty much the same response I got from him when I asked him the same question."

I had been staring at my feet, face burning, when I turn to look at her with surprise. "Really?"

"You left him speechless Clary," is the only other thing she says on the matter, and then she lets it go, a surprising action coming from Izzy.

"Hey, what did you tell him when we went into your living room before?"

She glances over at me with a mischievous smile etched on her lips. "Oh nothing, nothing at all."

I don't even try to argue that, but my curiosity is screaming at me to find out more.

The rest of the car ride goes uneventful and we arrive at the school a little while after the dance officially started. We make our way into the gym area, where music is blasting through the walls and the open doorway. It looks really dark in there with colorful strobe lights flashing all over the place.

A boy comes straight up to us just as we enter the gym and starts speaking with Izzy. I guess this is the infamous Meliorn. I don't pay attention to what they're saying though because I am too busy scanning the busy gym for a certain blonde haired boy. They exchange words, and then Izzy sighs, turning towards me.

"Will you be okay if I go with Meliorn for a little bit?" I can't tell if she's unhappy with this, but I imagine she feels bad after talking about having a girl's night. I've had a lot of fun with her so far, getting ready and everything.

"Of course Izzy," I partially yell because of the loud music, "go have fun! We can hang out later." She smiles at me, and I can see that part of her does want to go with Meliorn and dance, or well, whatever they want to do, so I give her a nudge toward him, and that seems to do the trick.

As she heads onto the dance floor with Meliorn, I look around to all of the students to find a familiar face. I look to the middle of the dance floor, and my heart plummets to the ground. Kaelie is there in the gaudiest pink dress I have ever seen, with Jace, and I guess what they're doing can be called dancing, you know, if we were in a strip club or something. Kaelie's back is pushed against Jace's chest, and she is moving against him like any boy would want a girl, especially a girl like Kaelie, to do.

I'm reminded again at how different I am to girls like Kaelie in this aspect, or every aspect. I could never do that.

It's clear that they have the attention of a lot of students, both guys and girls, but all I can do is stare at Jace. If I didn't know better, it looks as if he's… bored. He looks like he wants to be anywhere else but where he is at that moment. He glances up from where his eyes were staring at the ground in front of him, and those metallic eyes meet mine, locking me in his gaze.

If I had thought he wanted to leave Kaelie's, um, dancing before, I'm certain of it now as he lifts his hands from where they were wrapped around her waist and whispers something into her ear. Then, to the shock of everyone who was watching them, starts walking towards me.

"Hey," he says as he steps right in front of me.

I smile at him, and cleverly respond with "hey" as well. My heart is racing faster than normal again.

"So, don't think I forgot about that dance," he smirks as he takes another step closer to me, and I can feel my temperature rising again.

I harness my emotions and actually remember that I have a witty side, and smile while responding, "you know, I'm pretty sure I never said yes to that."

I get that heart stopping genuine smile as he laughs. "Yes, but you also didn't say no, so I plan on getting that dance by the end of the night."

"Jacey," an obnoxious voice whines from behind Jace. He turns around and steps to the side so that we are standing side by side in front of Kaelie, whose dress up close can only be classified as slutty. "We didn't finish dancing," she complains as she looks from him to me, her eyes narrowing as she scans my appearance.

"Nice dress, now you really do look like a carrot." Seriously?

Before I can respond, Jace does for me. "Don't be stupid Kaelie, her hair's red, not orange."

Oh god. Thanks Jace. That was definitely going to be my response. I look at him giving him the 'are you serious' look to which he just shrugs. Before any other dumb comments can be made, I end the conversation.

"I'll see ya later Jace," I say as I see Maia and Jordan sitting at a table on the opposite side of the gym. Kaelie just continues to glare at me since Jace's intellectual comment.

I move to walk past Kaelie, but the heat I had felt at the house is now around my wrist and I look down to see Jace's hand wrapped around it. "Hey, don't forget, okay?" He asks with sincerity.

I roll my eyes trying to cover up the twists in my stomach and the pounding of my heart.

"I don't think you'd let me if I tried." He gives me a wink, and then lets go of my wrist. Kaelie grabs that same hand and pulls him toward her and brings her lips to his before he even realizes what is going on. My heart twists in a different way… jealousy. Her hands move to each side of his face holding him to her, and she kisses him like any guy would dream of. He jerks away, surprise written all over his face and whips his head toward me. I don't know what I look like, but he must see that I'm not upset, not that he would care.

Kaelie's just being Kaelie.

And yet, I am jealous. Congrats Kaelie, it worked.

Kaelie looks straight at me, and confirms what I already know. This is a show for me. I'm not that petty, so I give Jace a small, tight smile and head toward Maia and Jordan.

Why should I care who he kisses? Oh, but the jealousy I'm feeling tells me I do.

I spend the next hour or so sitting with Maia and Jordan, or dancing with them, or when Maia goes to freshen up, I dance with Jordan so he won't be alone. I'm having a good time. I haven't seen any signs of Izzy, and I purposely avoid trying to look for Jace.

As I dance with Jordan on the dance floor, the music switches to a slow song and we turn to go get a drink at the punch table when somebody taps me on the shoulder.

I turn around to come face to face with that I boy I saw on the first day of school. Sebastian Verlac. He has just as much of a reputation as Jace does, but unlike with Jace, I get a very uneasy feeling in my stomach.

He has the same look I saw him have that first day too. Predatory. Those black eyes of his remind me of Jon's, but Jon's hold compassion and emotion, Sebastian's look like they want to swallow me whole.

He clears his throat while reaching his hand out confidently toward me. "Clary Fray. You look absolutely ravishing." I can see his eyes slowly scan my body, and I shift my weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably. "May I be so bold as to ask you to dance?" He asks me with the air that he has all the confidence in the world I will say yes.

Again, before I can say a word, someone else does for me, which irks me a little. Jordan takes a step to be slightly in front of me while saying "You know? I really don't think that's a good idea." Their eyes lock, and I can feel the tension thickening between them.

"Yeah Kyle?" Sebastian asks condescendingly. "Don't you already have a girl that's got you so whipped you can't tell right from left without asking her first?"

Jordan's eyes darken and I see his hands clench into fists.

I need to do something before Jordan attacks this guy, so I take Sebastian's hand while saying, "Fine, one dance." Touching his hand though doesn't give me any thrill or any feeling whatsoever. It actually makes me want to let go.

I get a smile that makes me feel off, and I feel Jordan's hand on my shoulder as Sebastian starts to pull me away.

"Clare, I really don't think that's a good idea."

I see the concern in his face, so I try to reassure him, "one dance won't hurt anybody, Jordan."

He lets go and allows Sebastian to pull me onto the dance floor. I wrap my arms loosely around his neck as we start to sway to the music. I try to keep as much distance between us as possible, but he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me flush against him.

I feel my body tense. I am aware of Jordan's eyes on us, but I feel like somebody else is watching. I turn my head, trying to avoid Sebastian's gaze and meet golden eyes glaring at the two of us.

"It's hard to believe this is the first time we're talking, or well, getting acquainted," he whispers in my ear, and I jerk my head toward his as chills run down my spine. This feels so… wrong. The feeling of Jace's touch has all but faded.

"Yeah," I mutter out as I try to pull away slightly, but his arms are locked around me, "hard to believe."

"How would you like to get out of here with me, huh? I can show you a good time," he drawls as he leans his head toward the crook of my neck. No. I think back to my self defense lessons. Lesson #1: don't panic.

"You don't waste time, do you?" I say with disgust. "I think I'll pass," I practically spit out as I take my arms away from his neck and rest them on his chest, trying to push away. I get about two inches distance before he pushes our bodies back together.

"Come one sweetie, I can't imagine that nerd is giving you what you need." My blood runs cold at the mention of Simon in such a way. Anger flares inside of me at this asshole's insinuations. I need to get away. "Or is Wayland going to give you that. I mean, since you've caught his interest and all?"

"First thing," I grit through my teeth, "his name is Simon, and he's a thousand times more of a man than you ever will be." I push hard against his chest and his grip loosens around my waist. "Secondly? If you ever touch me again, I  _will_  kick your ass, and you  _will_ be crawling around for a week hunched over with testicles that may not ever function right again, got it?" I shove with all of the strength I've built up from those self defense classes and break away from his clutches.

I start backing away only to bump into another figure. Jordan stands behind me, his hands resting on my shoulders. He must have leapt into action when he saw me pushing against Sebastian.

I'm still staring at Sebastian, who is eyeing me with a gleam in his eye. "Hm, you are feisty. You'd be lots of fun if you loosened up a bit. I can help with that," he smirks as he takes a step toward me, "or I'd be willing to wait."

What a pompous douche bag.

I scoff at him. "Don't hold your breath."

I glance over in the direction of Jace, but he's not there.

"Time to go," Jordan states as he gently turns my shoulders so that I am facing the direction of the punch bowl and guides me toward there as fast as possible.

Now I see Jace, who must have been standing right behind me when I was staring down Sebastian.

How did he get over here so fast?

I'm completely thrown by the rage I see in his eyes and the way his shoulders are tensed ready to fight. He's shooting daggers at Sebastian, but he must feel my attention on him, because his face softens when our eyes meet. I glance away as Jordan leads me right by the refreshments table.

Right as I turn to address Jordan, I feel myself being splashed with a liquid from head to toe. I look down to see myself, and my beautiful dress, drenched in an orange liquid, which conveniently smells like punch. I'm dripping all over the place.

My hair. My arms. My dress.

"I think this orange helps with the carrot look. Don't ya think Clary?"

I look up from my ruined dress to see Kaelie smiling triumphantly as she holds an empty punch bowl.

* * *

-Jace-

My arms still tingle a little from where my skin had touched Clary when Maryse had taken the picture. This shock of electricity is new to me. I hadn't even touched her bare skin and I felt like she was setting me on fire.

She had to have felt it, because she bolted the first chance she got.

I  _needed_  her to know how beautiful she looked. It's more than beautiful though, it's this all encompassing beauty that words can't even begin to describe. And she has it all the time, not just while wearing a dress.

I was nervous when I chased her down the hallway.

I tried telling her what I thought, how I was feeling, but I'm pretty sure I failed miserably. I got away the first chance I could, avoiding further humiliation.

And then she arrived at the dance.

I watched the emotions play across her face when Kaelie had pulled me in for that kiss that must've been Kaelie's way of making Clary jealous, but it didn't work. Clary doesn't feel that way about me. Even if that small smile she gave me told me that she understood. At least, I think that's what the smile meant.

God I hope so.

She needed to know that I hated every second of it and that I tried pulling away as soon as our lips had met. She needed to know I hadn't expected it.

She needed to know I wanted it to be her.

I stood on the side as she danced with her friends. I gritted my teeth and practically nailed my feet down to the ground when I saw Sebastian approach Clary. I had vowed that Sebastian wouldn't touch her, but I couldn't be possessive over her. She could handle herself. But when I saw his iron grip on her, it made my skin crawl.

That should be me. I should be the one holding her.

I moved with impossible speed when I saw her trying to get out of his grasp, but Jordan had beaten me there. I was seeing red.

_Just remember that if you did things right, she'd be your date tonight Jace. You'd have her all to yourself and you'd be the happiest guy in the world. I'm not blind. I see the way you look at her and the way you act when she's even remotely near you. She's changing you. Count this as my payback on my list of revenge. You could have had her, but you don't._

Izzy's whispered words have been ringing in my mind ever since she said that after her and Clary had come out of her room, and I saw the most breathtaking, gorgeous creature to ever walk the planet. I haven't been able to take my eyes off her since she arrived at the dance. She's always beautiful. Every single day. It's just that tonight I see her at yet another different angle. I'm constantly being surprised.

And Sebastian would not hurt her in any way.

As I watch Kaelie fling the contents of the punch bowl onto Clary in what feels like slow motion, I must fly over to Clary, because that's the only explanation for how quickly I get by her side. Jordan flanks her other side.

"What the hell was that for!?" Clary screams, probably both from anger and the overpowering music.

The music stops.

Kaelie's eyes are full of hatred as she says in a surprisingly calm voice, "Let me think, embarrassing me on the first day of school, dancing with my ex," she counts them off on her finger, "oh, and what's that last one? Oh," she snaps her fingers like she's just remembering, "and stealing the attention of my date for the entire night."

At that, the hatred and the stares of the surrounding student body are directed at me. Clary must not have realized who the last statement was about until seeing that I was standing next to her, because I can see the moment that the fury lights up in her eyes.

"You shallow bitch.  _Those_  are the reasons for throwing punch all over me!?" Clary exclaims, and I grab her around the waist just as she takes a step toward Kaelie, who probably would have had a good old punch in the face in the next minute or so. Clary's soaking wet, and it's clear that her dress, as beautiful as it is, is completely ruined. It amazes me that my arms start tingling again at the contact.

I lift Clary up easily with how small she is and start carrying her toward the exit of the gym. Jordan doesn't stop me. She repeatedly tells me to put her down as I hear Kaelie yelling toward us. "That's right Jace! Take care of your newest play thing! You'll come back when you see she's just a tease. She'll bore you!"

"Don't flatter yourself Kaelie," I call over my shoulder while still handling a very stubborn and argumentive Clary. That brings a lot of oh's from the observing crowd.

Just as we make it to the exit, I can hear a screaming and quite enraged Izzy coming from the other direction telling off Kaelie with a very colorful vocabulary. I leave them to that, knowing Jordan, or Maia, or Izzy's date, or anybody else will take control of the situation.

My focus is on Clary. And only Clary.


	9. Anti-Pity Party

-Jace-

"Jace! Put. Me. Down. Now."

"Well then quit squirming," I point out as I carry Clary from the gym away from Kaelie and the other spectators into an empty corridor within the school. Izzy's yelling can be heard radiating from the gym.

She lets out a noise of frustration while retorting, "I'll quit squirming if you put me down!"

My arms are tightly wrapped around her waist so that her feet can't touch the ground, and she annoyingly continues to try to break free of my hold, presumably to go back to the gym and kick Kaelie's ass.

"Well, I'll put you down if you quit squirming," I respond with a smirk that she can't see.

She snorts at my remark, which is actually quite adorable despite what you may think, and renews her energy of trying to get loose.

"Jeese Clary, just calm down," I mutter into her ear, which seems to momentarily quiet her.

Wow she smells good. Vanilla. But it's also mixed with, well, orange punch. Kind of like a creamsicle…

Oh god.

Being in this close of proximity to her is messing with my thoughts. The last time I was this close to whisper something in her ear, I was trying to tell her how beautiful she is, and that turned into a humiliation fest.

By this time, my clothes are damp with the orange punch too from having Clary pressed so tightly to my body, so I take the momentary two second pause from Clary's stubbornness to carry her into the girl's bathroom down the end of the corridor that I know nobody else will go into since it's so far into the school.

I struggle to flick the lights on with one hand while setting Clary down and keeping my other arm wrapped around her waist. Once the ceiling lights flicker on, Clary pushes away from me toward the bathroom sinks as I stand in front of the door.

She glares at me and crosses her arms in front of herself defiantly. "I'm going back there," she states as she tries to barge past me, either thinking she could or that I'd just let her. My arms still tingle from the contact with her.

"Sorry, but no can do," I tell her as I block the exit.

She flings her arms into the air in frustration. "God dammit Jace!  _Your_  date just flung an entire bowl of punch all over me! Look at me!" She yells as if it isn't obvious that she's drenched. Trust me, all I've been doing all night is looking… and staring… and basically ignoring everything that wasn't Clary-related.

I take a tentative step forward and she stands her ground, refusing to move an inch. She's cute when she's pissed, and a little intimidating.

"Look, what Kaelie did was a dick move, but she's not worth it Clary."

She lets out a breath and her posture relaxes. She takes a step back to lean against one of the sinks.

"I know. It's just, how can somebody be so vain? She did it because, why? I made a comeback when she said something rude to me? I danced with Sebastian?" My fists tighten slightly at that particular memory that happened only moments ago. Clary seems to notice because she shakes her head.

"The only reason I did was because he was provoking Jordan and I didn't want it to escalate. And it was awful." Relief washes over me, because the tiniest part of me dreaded that she had enjoyed it, even though I saw her push him away.

Clary's still going on about Kaelie. "And what about stealing her date's attention?" She looks at me warily, like she doesn't know what to think and needs me to confirm something.

I freeze at that and wash my face of all emotion, because that is the most observant fact Kaelie probably has ever made.

I move to the left of Clary and grab some paper towel and wet it at the neighboring sink as the silence drags on. I turn back to face her while saying, "well, whatever the reason, it was still a dick move."

I hand her the wet paper towel and she mutters her thanks. She turns toward the mirror to start wiping the orange punch that has started to dry on her face. I want to do it, but I don't want to be forward. Me. I'm worried about being too forward with a girl.

"Ugh, I'm so sticky," she decrees while staring at her reflection. She has orange blotches on her skin and her hair is still dripping. I notice now how sticky I feel too from the punch.

Then my eyes scan the rest of her. Her entire dress is still dripping too, and it clings to her body even more than it had when it was dry, if that's even possible. Every curve of her body can be seen. I take a gulp trying not to stare too long or have her catch me staring, but good god. It's distracting.

A thought pops into my head as I watch her. I turn toward the bathroom door and reluctantly open it.

"Wait, where are you going?" She whips her head around after watching me head toward the exit in the mirror.

"I've got something that might help, I'll be right back." I don't want to leave, but it'll only be for a few seconds. "Just… don't go anywhere, okay?" I add as an afterthought.

She rolls her eyes at me, "I won't."

But I need to make sure our time together isn't cut this short because I leave. I want more time, so I make her promise me she won't leave and risk sounding like a five year old.

She laughs, but promises and adds a little extra by giving me the scout's honor with her hand. I give her the eye roll this time and head out of the bathroom into the abandoned hallway.

I sprint out to my car in the parking lot unnoticed, but not caring if anybody sees me. I grab a duffle bag from my trunk and head back to the bathroom. The music has started playing again in the gym. I don't take a momentary pause before pushing the door opened.

I laugh when I see Clary trying to ring her hair out in the sink. Upon noticing me she turns her attention to the duffle bag and gives me a questioning look.

"Maryse insists on Izzy and me leaving an extra pair of gym clothes in the cars in case of emergencies. I think this can be considered one."

She gives me a small frown, "I'm pretty sure Izzy and I are fairly different in size."

I laugh while reaching into the bag and grabbing Izzy's clothes. "Then I guess it's a good thing Izzy buys tight clothing and that these are a few years old. Besides, as lovely as that dress is, I'm afraid to say it is ruined."

She looks down at herself and I can practically feel the disappointment radiating off of her, and it physically upsets me. "I really loved this too," she whispers as if admitting it is a bad thing.

She needs to smile. "Yeah, I don't even think you'd qualify for a wet t-shirt contest like that. Shameful really."

That beautiful flush appears on her face in full force, but she laughs.

"And to think I probably could have won," she jokes. I choke on whatever I was going to say, not expecting that as a response.

"Kidding Jace. I was just kidding," she clarifies and reaches for the clothing and I hand it to her.

Right before I pull away though, I reach out to her face tentatively to move a strand of hair that is sticking to her cheek. Neither of us stops looking at the other, and she doesn't pull away once I tuck the strand behind her ear. We just stare at each other until she clears her throat.

She needs to change.

"Oh! Right, I'll just- you know-," I point towards the door, "I'll, um, go change in the guy's bathroom and, um, wait for you out there." She smiles in gratitude and watches as I open the door again and close it. I take a deep breath and close my eyes as I lean my back against the door.

When did I become considerate over things like changing in the same room?

_Because it's Clary and you don't want to screw this up._

After washing off the punch and changing into sweats and a t-shirt, I wait outside the girl's bathroom until Clary emerges punch free, aside from the lingering scent. She has her hair thrown up in a knot at the top of her head.

And then I look at what she's wearing.

It's just a t-shirt that's a little big on her and a pair of what I think is called yoga pants, but my god she still looks just as beautiful as she did earlier in the night.

Seeing her like this makes her more tangible, more real. Not just some goddess creature, even though I still see that as well.

She smiles at my change of clothing.

We walk back to the parking lot and surprisingly don't encounter anyone even though the dance still seems to be in full swing and the lot is still filled with cars. I wonder where Izzy is…

I pop my trunk again and take the dress and her purse from her and toss all of our punch ridden items in it and slam it shut.

I turn to her and hold out my arm. She doesn't hesitate to slip her arm through mine, which makes me smile.

"Now what?" She asks as I guide her down the street away from the school, and the dance, and Kaelie.

I look down to meet her eyes and smirk as I tell her, "Now we screw these people and have our own fun."

She looks at me warily, not sure what to expect or what to say.

"Don't you worry Miss Fray, this is the part where I woo you."

* * *

"I think I've died and gone to heaven."

I openly laugh at Clary's dramatics as she sits across from me in the booth, "And what on earth makes you say that?"

Bright greens eyes meet me over the top of the menu with the word 'Taki's' written across it like I'm the one dramatically declaring love over the contents of a menu. "You're kidding right? I don't think there's a single item on this menu that I wouldn't devour in seconds."

This girl loves food. Why should that even surprise me? I've spent all of a half an hour with her and I can feel my feelings doubling, and it petrifies me.

"Well, pick anything you want. My treat."

She smirks while saying, "That's a very dangerous statement. I may be small, but Jon always jokes that I eat like a truck driver."

I clear my throat to give me a moment to get my thoughts together. Who the hell is Jon? An old boyfriend? A current one from another town?

"Who's Jon?" I ask with what I hope is mere curiosity.

"My older brother," I let out an inaudible sigh, "he would probably order one of everything if he was here," she says with the slightest bit of sadness.

"And where is he?" I ask, hoping it's something she's okay with talking about.

She smiles while saying, "He's studying in Miami so he didn't move with us." I give her an understanding look, because I know what she's feeling.

And to my surprise, I actually tell her that, "I know what you mean. My brother Alec moved out and studies at NYU. I mean, it's not as far as Miami, but I haven't seen him since school started."

She nods her head in agreement. "I know. Jon tries to video chat, but he's been busy, so it's been harder to actually have a conversation with him."

Before she can say more, a fairly good looking waitress comes over to take our orders and gives me a seductive smile. I ignore it and look to Clary in questioning. "One of everything then?"

Her eyes widen a fraction before she chuckles. "Oh no, I think I'll just have the coconut pancakes," she tells the waitress. "Oh! And a coffee. Two actually, if that's okay," she adds as she looks at me.

I just stare at her, dumbstruck. Of course she loves coconut pancakes. Logically, since those are my favorite thing on the menu fate would have it that she loves them.

The waitress and Clary give me weird looks. "Jace?"

"Right, of course that's okay. I'll have the coconut pancakes too, and a water." The waitress writes it down and gives me a wink before overly swinging her hips as she walks away. Clary stares after her with her brows scrunched together and I want to reach over the table and smooth them out.

She turns back to me with the strangest look on her face. Kind of like when I saw her when she first walked into the dance.

"So, tell me. How on earth did you find this place?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Alec, Izzy, and I were bored one day a couple years ago and decided to explore the city a bit. We stumbled on this place. It doesn't look like much from the outside, but I mean, the inside's great. Izzy calls it 'homey' and 'quaint.' And the food gives you a mouthgasm," I tell her with a wink.

Her mouth drops open. "A  _what_?" She squeaks.

I burst out laughing at her expression. It takes me a few seconds to calm down enough to get words out, and Clary's face is completely flushed again. "You know, a mouthgasm. It's like an orgasm, but for your mouth. And, well, it's because of how delicious the food is. Like these coconut pancakes?  _Totally_  mouthgasm worthy."

Now Clary's laughing too, like she had in art that day, which leads me to laugh some more and my stomach actually starts to hurt from all of the laughing. Her laugh is beautiful, and infectious.

"That- is the most- ridiculous thing I have ever heard," she gasps out between breaths, "You are-"

"Amazing?" I cut her off. "Brilliant? Amazingly brilliant?"

She shakes her head as she laughs, "You're so weird."

"I know-,"

"Did you just call me weird?"

Clary nods as her laughs subside. I look at her absolutely flabbergasted.

"Never. Never in all of my life has somebody called me weird. I am not weird." This girl…

She shakes her head while smiling, "Oh come on Jace, that was an extremely weird statement."

"Who doesn't know about mouthgasms?"

"I'm pretty sure if I ask anybody in this restaurant what that is they'll have the same response as me," she looks around the room, "and there are quite a few people in here."

"I am not weird." I have been called thousands of things, some not so complimentary, but weird was never one of them. It's a strange idea.

She rolls her eyes. "Don't worry. Perfect Jace can have some weird quirks. I have loads of them, so I'm weird too. Everybody's weird in some way," she states matter of factly.

I shake my head. "Nope, sorry. Weird is not on the list of adjectives to describe me. I can think of many, like sexy, godlike, charming-"

"Jace. Look at it this way. I'm weird. I like coconut pancakes. You like coconut pancakes. Therefore, you have to have a weird quirk."

"That," I say because I'm utterly speechless, "makes absolutely  _no_  sense," I laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

Clary just shrugs it off. "Say what you want. You have a weird quirk. Don't worry though, I'm making it my job to find it."

I take that opportunity. "You know that means you'll have to spend time with me," I say with a wink.

She ponders that for a second before saying, "I know."

Those two words lift my spirits more than I thought possible. I'm sitting in my favorite restaurant, which I have never taken anybody to except for Alec, Max, and Izzy, about to eat my favorite meal and having a conversation with Clary. An actual conversation. And she doesn't seem to be hating the idea.

I give her another smile.

As the waitress comes back over with our food, I feel my phone start to continuously vibrate in my pocket. As Clary stares wide-eyed at the pancakes and starts eating, I sneak a look at the messages I have from Izzy under the table.

_Where are you?_

_Is Clary with you? Is she okay?_

_Jace! Where the hell are you?_

_Jordan said that you had carried Clary away?_

_Why aren't you answering my messages?_

_She better be okay!_

_JACE LIGHTWOOD ANSWER MY MESSAGES!_

I internally roll my eyes at Isabelle. I glance at Clary who is completely consumed with the pancakes. Izzy must be texting her like crazy, but she hasn't made a comment or looked at her phone once. Maybe she left it in the purse I tossed in my trunk.

I respond quickly before turning my phone off.

_Yes, Clary is with me. Yes, she is fine and safe. I'm taking care of her. I'm not telling you where we are. I'll drop her off when we're done so stop texting me._

I tuck my phone away and start eating my pancakes. Neither of us really talks as we eat, but it's not an awkward silence. It's actually quite comfortable.

Once both of our plates are cleared and Clary is on her second cup of coffee, I stare at her until she looks up.

"What is it?" She asks.

"Well? Did you have a mouthgasm?" I raise my eyebrows up and down in the hopes of making her smile or blush.

I succeed in both.

"Yes, I think I had one," she comments while staring at the table.

But I can't let it go. "Come one Clary, it's okay to say it."

Her cheeks turn a deeper red, but she looks straight into my eyes with determination. "Yes Jace, those coconut pancakes gave me a- a mouthgasm." She smiles triumphantly.

"I knew they would," I smile with just as much triumph.

Clary looks away again and I can tell that there is something she wants to say. We sit there for a few minutes before I can't take it anymore. "Is something wrong?" I thought everything was going great. I mean, it was kind of like we have been on a date. I've never really been into the 'taking a girl on a date' thing, but being with Clary just seems… right.

She meets my eyes again and she asks, "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," is my only response. I want tell her everything and anything she wants to know.

"Why does Sebastian call you Wayland? He did it on the first day of school and then again tonight when I was dancing with him." They were talking about me while they were dancing?

Hm, I wasn't expecting that, and it's not like it's not pretty common knowledge. "Izzy didn't tell you?" She shakes her head no. "Verlac calls me that because I'm adopted. You didn't know that?" She shakes her head again. I scan her face for any sign of pity, but none is there.

"I'm a curious person, but I stay out of people's personal lives. It's none of my business." I wouldn't have expected any other response from her. "It does explain why you don't look like Izzy or Max though and why you call Maryse by her first name. But with the way you guys act around one another? It doesn't matter if you're blood related or not."

I give her a grateful smile and continue talking, even though she hasn't asked for more information. "Before the Lightwoods adopted me, my last name was Wayland. I started school in the Alicante district when I was ten, before I had my name legally changed to Lightwood, so pretty much everyone in the school knows that my name used to be Wayland. Everybody was pretty cool about sticking with Lightwood once it was changed, but Verlac seems to insist on calling me Wayland. It's like he wants to remind everyone that I'm different. Like I'm an outcast for being adopted."

Clary gives me a small smile, "I don't think he's doing too hot of a job with that part."

I chuckle at that. "No, I guess not. Besides," I can't believe I'm going to say this, "if you want to get into technicalities, Wayland isn't really my biological last name either. It's Herondale." Nobody knows this, only Maryse, Robert, Izzy, and Alec. So why do I feel like it's okay to tell Clary? Why do I feel like this is the absolute right thing to do? For her to know all of me?

Now she looks at me quizzically. She opens her mouth to ask the question I know she's itching to ask, but then closes her mouth again.

"It's okay, you can ask," I smile at her reassuringly.

She takes a breath before asking, "What happened to your parents?"

And I tell her. Not just what happened to my godfather, who had taken me in, but my biological parents as well. "My biological parents died in a car crash a week after I was born. I don't remember anything about them."

I have one solitary picture of them from when they were married and a blanket sewn for me as a newborn tucked in a box in my room.

I continue, "And then when they died, my godfather, Michael Wayland, took me in. He died when I was ten, gunned down randomly in the streets one night."

He went to go get me chocolate milk from the nearby convenient mart because I had begged him for it and refused to go to bed without it. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't mention this part to Clary, because I've never told anyone about why he had gone out that night. The guilt still eats me inside out whenever I think about it, so I try to shut it out, lock away anything that makes me think about it.

And yet, here I am telling this girl about all three of them.

She reaches out across the table and takes my hands that have been resting there. And then she says, "Then the Lightwoods found you."

I smile at the simplicity she makes with it, "yes, and then the Lightwoods found me, and I've been making life hell for them for eight whole years."

Clary smiles and shakes her head, but doesn't look at me with pity, or with sadness like those who know my story occasionally do. One of the many reasons I don't show any emotions toward the situation. If they see I'm fine, they leave me alone about it.

"I'm not a sociopath you know," she says completely out of the blue. I look at her with shock, completely thrown off by the statement.

"I'm not sure of many things about you Clary, but I know you're not a sociopath. Why would you even say that?" Did I say something to make her think that?

She meets my eyes once again. "The drawing Jace, that drawing that you saw."

Oh god. I had completely forgotten about that. I'm shocked she's mentioning it, and a little nervous that bringing it up is going to ruin what has been going so well. I didn't think she was a sociopath because of that.

"I don't think that," I tell her with all the sincerity I have in me. "I was just surprised because it's different than what you draw in art."

I want to know. I want to know so badly what the drawing meant, but I'm afraid to ask.

She gives me a knowing smile as she watches my face. "It's okay, you can ask," she says, repeating my own words.

So I do. "Why did you draw it?"

She looks sad as she says, "My dad. He died when I was a year old. Jon was two. I don't remember a thing about him, only that he died from some type of accident. My mom never talks about him and there's nothing that we have in memory of him. I haven't even ever been to his grave. I don't know where it's located since we move so much. I guess Jon had found a picture once of him and he showed it to me, telling me not to tell mom or my step dad, Luke, so we kept it a secret. So I know what he looks like. Jon looks just like him."

I nod my head showing that she has my full attention as she continues. "Sometimes I'll try and mention my dad to Mom and Luke, but they always brush it off or make me feel like I shouldn't be asking, so I get upset and then drawings like that pop up in my sketchbook. Not often, which is why I was upset that it happened to land open on one of them when it fell to the ground."

Our gazes meet once again and we don't say anything for seconds or minutes, I can't tell. What I do realize is that our hands are still linked together in the middle of the table. Clary realizes it at the same time I do and she pulls her hands away, leaving my skin cold. I want to apologize again for the whole sketch book ordeal, but I don't think this is the time to do it.

"That felt good to tell somebody else. No pity looks to worry about," Clary states, and I can't help but agree. But only because it's Clary.

I want her to know me.

All of me.

"It's an anti-pity party," I declare with a smirk, and Clary smiles.

"I like the sound of that."

We move onto lighter subjects after this. She tells me about her mom, her brother, and her stepdad and I tell her about Robert, Maryse, Alec, Max, and Izzy. I even tell her about Magnus, who she finds absolutely fascinating with his flamboyant outfits. We talk about her goals to go to an art school and my lack of plans to go anywhere. I want to go to college, I just have no idea what for. She tells me about her mom's art and why they move so much. I tell her about the special exhibits Maryse and Robert coordinate at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I tell her things I have never told anyone else in my entire life, and she does the same for me.

And then Taki's is all but empty except for the two of us, and we're laughing like hyenas. Is this how a date goes?

"Jace," Clary says after we calm down.

"Hm?"

"I really want to be your friend." And I come crashing down from cloud nine where I have been sitting since carrying Clary out of the gym. She just wants to be my friend. But I thought I could see it in her eyes, in the way she smiles at me… like she wanted to be more than friends.

"Friends?" I ask with a neutral voice.

"Yes," she says while shaking her head adamantly, like she is trying to convince herself that this is what she wants. "You're not what I expected," that makes two of us, "and I think we could be friends."

Or more than friends.

But I simply nod my head in agreement, because days ago Clary wouldn't even speak a word to me, and now I'm getting the opportunity to be her friend, and maybe even spend time with her, and I won't screw that up. "Friends sounds great."

"You mean it?" She asks, almost as if she hopes I say 'no.'

But I don't, even though I want to. I tell her being friends is a good thing, and that I'm happy that she wants to be friends after what I did to her, to which she remarks that it's okay and that if I start apologizing again she'll be hearing 'I'm sorry's' in her sleep.

She gives me her phone to put my number in it, and I feel like I've won a small victory because she has had her phone on her all night, and I'm sure Izzy has been badgering her about her whereabouts, but she has ignored them and not mentioned them at all to me.

I almost can say that she has enjoyed herself.

As we walk back from Taki's to the school to get my car, we finally realize how late it actually is. All of the lights are out in the school and my car is the only one left in the parking lot. Even Izzy's car is gone.

As Clary heads toward the passenger door, I grab her hand, suddenly remembering something.

I smile when I feel the tingling sensation again where our hands touch. "You know, you still owe me that dance."

She rolls her eyes and points toward the school. "I'm pretty sure the dance is over with Jace."

I shrug my shoulders and step away, letting go of her hand and opening my car door to turn on the radio. Fate seems to be on my side as a slow song plays through the open car door.

I walk back to Clary, who hasn't moved an inch, and extend my hand to her.

"Clary, will you do the honor of giving me this dance?" I ask. "As a friend, of course," I add the last part reluctantly.

The intensity in my eyes is mirrored in her green eyes as she simply nods her head and takes my hand. I pull her in closer to me and she wraps her arms around my neck as I wrap my arms around her waist. To my surprise, she's actually the one who pulls me closer. The sensation whenever I touch Clary is back, and I hold her as we sway slowly to the music. She rests her head on my chest, and I rest mine on the top of her head.

We dance in an empty school parking lot past midnight in New York City, swaying to the music radiating from my car, not dressed in fancy clothes, but in sweat pants.

Never has anything felt as right as this moment.

We stay like that for the next two slow songs that play afterwards. Thank you fate.

No words are spoken.

The one thought that pops into my head as the third song comes to an end is this…

How am I only going to be friends with Clary Fray?


	10. For the Girls

-Clary-

2 weeks.

14 days.

336 hours.

20,160 minutes.

That is how long it's been since the night of the dance.

That is how long I have been friends with Jace Lightwood.

That is how long I have been going slowly insane trying to  _just_  be friends with Jace when I want it to be so much more.

I cannot get the memory of that night out of my head. It's all I have been thinking about for two weeks. Every time I close my eyes I can see Jace, gold eyes shining, sitting across from me smiling like he doesn't have a care in the world.

I can hear his voice, his laugh, like it was happening right at that moment.

And I can feel his arms wrapped around me, holding me to him.

How could a night that a girl throws punch all over me share the same night with the best night of my life? I have no idea why Jace had pulled me away and carried me off into the bathrooms.

He was so… sweet.

It was like he knew exactly what I needed. We spent hours just talking in Taki's and stuffing our faces with pancakes. Talking. Just talking. And I don't think Jace minded in the least bit. He seemed happy.

And he opened up to me, told me things I don't think he has ever told anyone, and while he told me about the details of his life, my heart grew twice its size. Telling me about is parents and godfather meant the world to me, and I was touched that he felt he could open up to me.

 _That_  was the Jace Lightwood I knew was there somewhere inside. He just hides him away for whatever reason.

I found myself telling him things that I have hardly told anybody, if anybody at all, and it felt right. I even told him about my dad and the sketches. I could trust him and I was sure of that with every fiber of my being.

And then we danced, and I never wanted it to end. Such a simple thing had my heart racing triple its normal rate and my skin flushed and burning wherever he touched, a reaction that seems to be a common occurrence when it comes to Jace.

I couldn't tell you what song we danced to. I couldn't tell you how long we stood in that parking lot in each other's arms. I couldn't tell you how many songs played after the first.

What I can tell you is that I wanted to be as close to Jace as possible and held him closer and closer until there was no space between us. When I rested my head on his chest, his heart was beating just as fast as mine. When he placed his head on top of mine, he unconsciously let out a content sigh. When we finally let go of each other, I'd never felt the cold air around me so much in my life.

We didn't say anything as we drove the short distance to my apartment, but it was a nice kind of silence. When he parked the car, he turned to me and leaned forward, like he was going to say something important, or even… kiss me. But he leaned back and got out of the car, and walked me to the front door of the apartment and said goodbye before turning to leave.

"Hey Jace?" I had said to his retreating figure. He turned around and I walked over before my mind could catch up with my actions and stood on my tippy toes, placing a quick kiss to his cheek. My lips had that tingly feeling from touching his skin. "Thanks for everything," I told him with a small smile.

I couldn't really tell you what the reaction on his face was, but he snapped himself out of it and smiled at me warmly, and I thought I was going to melt then and there. "Anytime Clary," he said in a low voice. He turned around again and walked away, and I wanted to tell him to come back, but I didn't.

Why had I said we should be friends? Why had I wished so badly that he would say no? That he wanted it to be more?

_Because you were trying to protect your heart from inevitably being broken._

But I don't think he would have, or will.

Jace Lightwood took me out. He told me his secrets. He brought me to a place that he only ever brings his family to, a fact Izzy informed me of.

If you want the definition of pissed, take a picture of Izzy as she was screaming through the phone at me after Jace dropped me off at my apartment. I had fifteen text messages, six missed calls, and four voicemails on my phone by the end of my night with Jace. I had ignored all of them, just wanting to savor the time with Jace, and boy did I get an earful when I had called her after going into the apartment.

I apologized profusely for worrying her and not answering any of the messages until now, and in the end, she was just happy I was okay. Jace on the other hand, wasn't getting off that easy. Izzy said he had sent her a chaste text message saying I was with him and then turned his phone off. I smiled at that, because in my mind, that translated to him wanting to spend the time with me too.

I told her vague details about the night. "He gave me an extra pair of your clothes. He brought me to Taki's. We ate pancakes. And then he brought me home." That was all she was going to get out of me. The details of our night would remain between me and him.

"Taki's?" She had asked with the smallest bit of shock in her voice, "He really took you to Taki's?"

I was left momentarily confused before I could think of responding. "Yeah Iz, why is that such a surprise?"

"It's just that, well, Taki's is kind of  _our_  place. Like, Alec, Jace, Max, and I only go with each other. We've never really ever brought other people, if that makes sense."

My heart did a little leap knowing that. Jace had taken me some place special to him. "No, I get it. But it was actually fun, and the place is great."

After an extensive pause all Izzy could say was, "Let me get this straight. Jace took you out on a date?"

A date? I flushed at the thought. I mean, I had wanted it to be a date, but had Jace thought of it that way?

But my only response was, "No Iz, it was not a date. It was two friends eating coconut pancakes together."

"Wait. You shared a plate of pancakes? Or you each had your own plate?" She inquired with more than simple curiosity. What kind of question is that?

I sighed before saying, "Two plates, Iz. And before you ask, it was two forks too." She snorted into the phone as I rolled my eyes.

"So now you guys are friends?" She asked.

I took a moment before reluctantly responding "yes."

"You know, Jace doesn't have any girls that are friends. Or friends for that matter, just acquaintances."

"I know Iz," was all I could say. We talked for a little while longer and then I went to bed.

The next two weeks had been… different. Different and interesting.

Jace and I talked in art, often times getting sideways glances from the other students in the class. Kaelie constantly gave us death glares. We walked to Bio together. Sometimes he would hang by my locker as I grabbed my books. Typical things people do as friends.

He even started eating lunch with us, which was a little strange. Everyone kind of gave me weird looks inquiring why Jace had all of a sudden started eating with us. I just shrugged. It was no different than Simon or Jordan eating at the lunch table.

Jace was his typical self. Sarcastic and arrogant, and I didn't let it pass. I called him out when he got annoying and he teased me like any of my other friends do. Maia and Jordan constantly joked that we bickered like brother and sister. My god. That's not what I want. I don't want a brother/sister relationship with Jace.

I want an actual relationship with him.

But we both continue with the friendly banter. Teasing and joking. Jace actually fit in quite nicely with the group. Izzy even got used to having her brother around more often.

And then there was Simon.

Ever since Jace and I had been friendly toward each other, Simon had become, well, unfriendly. Not toward me of course, but he is everything short of hostile toward Jace and I have no clue why.

"How can you be friends with him Clary? He's a jerk," Simon had said to me last weekend when we hung out. This was a common topic lately, and the same thing was said over and over again.

"I don't know Si, he's not as bad as you think," I explained as I pressed a button on the controller and the words 'game over' came up on the screen. "Ha! I won! I actually beat the great Simon Lewis!" I cheered.

But Simon was distracted and hadn't even realized the loss. "Si? Are you okay?"

He looked up from staring blankly at the screen, "Yeah, I'm fine Clary. I'm just worried about you, you know?"

No I didn't know. "Why do you say that?" Simon bit his lip, like he was contemplating whether he should say what he wanted to say. "Come on Simon, spit it out."

"Well, you know Jace is a player, and well, I don't want you to get hurt." That's it? Nothing I didn't already know.

"Look Simon, I know that already, and," I swallowed before continuing, "we're just friends, so he can do whatever he wants." Even though it would hurt me in more ways than I could describe.

Simon's face looked troubled for a second. "Am I just a friend to you?"

I quirked my head to the side while looking at him. A smile spread across my face. "No Si, you're not just my friend. You're my best friend. You know me better than anybody and I trust you with absolutely anything."

_And yet he still doesn't know about your dad and he's too considerate to push the issue._

"Jace is  _just_  a friend." Maybe if I said it enough times it would be what I want.

Simon let out a sigh. "Well that's good, since he seems to be up to his old ways again."

I tried to keep my voice steady while asking, "Why do you say that?"

"I don't know, Izzy's been saying that he's been hanging out with a lot of random girls since the dance. You know, when he's not gracing us with his presence. One only knows what he does with them," Simon stated like it's nothing special. But inside I could feel my mood darkening.

 _Friends_. We're just friends. And friends can do whatever they want with other girls. It's none of my business.

My mantra started repeating itself in my head.

_Protect yourself. Protect your heart Clary._

Then a thought occurred to me. "Since when do you and Izzy have conversations together?"

Simon's cheeks turned red and he refused to make eye contact, "We were just- you know- talking one day. No big deal."

Hmm…

"Are you going to come back to Earth any time today Short Stuff?" I hear a familiar, arrogant voice break through my reverie.

I look over at gold eyes. "You know, day dreaming is actually a healthy thing. It's a way of escape. And I don't like Short Stuff as a nickname"

Jace props his head on his arm, "Yes, but why would you want to escape when you have this," he waves his other hand in front of him, "sitting right next to you? And I think Short Stuff has a nice ring to it."

I roll my eyes at him, an action I've been doing about a thousand times a day for two weeks. I keep what Simon had said in the back of my head, but I try to forget about it. Of course Jace would want to do things with other girls. I'm not his girlfriend or anything. He can do whatever, or whoever, he wants. That's what I keep telling myself so that I don't ruin this new friendship. That, and I repeat my mantra every ten minutes.

"So what were ya doing before you left the planet?" He asks while leaning over to look at the papers in front of me.

"These," I gesture to the packets of paper, "are college applications." Don't think I have forgotten about my set plan. "And this is what you should be doing as well. You need to start applying."

Jace picks up one of the packets and turns a few pages before tossing it back down on our desk. "I told you, can't apply when you don't know what you want to do."

I shake my head at him. "No, you can apply undecided. Quit being stubborn," I say as I knock our shoulders together.

He gives me a smirk, "You, by far, are the more stubborn one."

"I won't deny that, but you are just as stubborn. I can help if you want," I add without thinking. I mean, yeah, I'll help him. But can I really spend any amount of time alone with him without me staring at his lips and imagining other things we could be doing than filling out applications? We haven't been alone since Taki's. We're always with Izzy, Aline, Maia, or Jordan. I've seen less and less of Simon whenever Jace is around.

"We'll see Short Stuff," is all he says on the matter.

I shove the packets into my bag and take out my sketch book since we have free time for the entire art class. I can't remember the last time I drew in it in art class. Jace doesn't look at me, but I can see a smile stretch across his face. "What are you all smiley about?"

"Oh nothing," he says as he shakes his head. I choose to ignore it and start sketching, but that smile does not leave Jace's face until the bell rings.

The morning goes by as usual. The smallest of changes is that Simon doesn't really say much of anything in Bio, or during lunch. Lunch goes by smoothly with Jace and Jordan discussing something about football or some other sport and Izzy going on about Meliorn. He doesn't eat with us, but I guess they had a great time together at Pandemonium. Although, the comment Simon had made about them talking together still sticks in the back of my mind.

As the bell rings, everybody gets up to head to class. I head in the opposite direction toward my locker to grab a book I forgot and need for class. The halls are all but empty as I head down the hall when I feel cold hands grab my elbow and whip me around.

I come face to face with black, emotionless eyes.

"How ya doing Clary?" Sebastian drawls, still holding tightly to my elbow. The same feelings I had the night of the dance creep under my skin as I try to yank my elbow away. Nobody else is in the hallway.

"I'm fine Sebastian. Please let me go," I say sternly while gesturing to his hand with my eyes.

He lets out a cold laugh. "Don't be like that babe," he comments as he slides his hand up the length of my arm, "you know, we never got to finish our dance. Or have that good time. I've been itching to get you alone and show you how it's done." My skin is crawling and chills run down my spine. My lessons come back to me again, but I don't want to cause a scene and draw attention from the neighboring classrooms.

"Let her go Verlac." We both turn our heads to look at Jace, who is making his way down the hallway in record speed. I can feel relief rush through me, though Sebastian doesn't let go.

"Don't concern yourself with things that don't involve you Golden Boy," Sebastian spits out and they glare at each other, neither willing to look away.

"I said," Jace whispers in a deadly voice, "let go of her." Jace reaches out and takes a grip on Sebastian's wrist and jerks his hand free of my arm. Sebastian backs away, looking enraged.

Jace looks away from him and meets my eyes, searching for the distress that is not there, because he is. He puts his hands on my shoulders asking, "Are you okay?" I nod my head, not wanting to speak for fear of my voice shaking. He nods his head as well. "Let's get to class then."

We both turn to walk away from Sebastian when I feel his grip on my shoulder and he jerks me back. "Come on Clary, don't let Wayland ruin the fun." And that's when the anger comes flooding back into me, washing away any previous nervousness and agitation. I told him never to touch me again.

And now he's done it twice.

So keeping my lessons in mind, I swing my right hand around and punch him right in the face.

Sebastian stumbles back stunned, his hands flying to his face where it looks like blood is pouring from his nose. Good.

"His name," I speak with perfect clarity, "is Lightwood. Jace  _Lightwood_."

By this time, students and teachers hear the raucous coming from the hallways and peek out of the doorways. I turn to Jace, who has a mixture of shock and pride on his face, which draws a smile to my face.

"Miss Fray!" I turn to see Madame Dorthea hustling toward me. "Explain yourself this instant young lady!"

I turn to her and tell her the truth. "That was for all of the girls he's ever so much as touched, including me. He's a creep."

I can see the understanding in her eyes. I know that she knows exactly what I am talking about, but I did just punch somebody, so the next words out of her mouth don't surprise me.

"Yes, well, I'm sorry dear, but I'm going to have to give you detention. You both as well, Mr. Lightwood and Mr. Verlac. You all caused a disturbance interrupting numerous classes. I don't know what happened, but it seems that Miss Fray is the one who ended it," she states while shooting me a smile that she hides before anybody else can see.

"Do what you gotta do Madame D, but the tool deserved it," Jace says as he shrugs his shoulders.

As the hallways start to clear, I feel someone behind me, and I know who it is from the uncomfortable chills that run through me. He whispers in my ear so that only I can hear. "You should have taken my offer while you had the chance Clary. Nobody wants that twelve year old body of yours. Why do you think Wayland's lost interest in you and has been screwing every girl he can get his hands on?"

I turn to look Sebastian straight in the eye, refusing to let him see the crushing humiliation going on inside of me. His face is covered in blood, and I get a sort of sick satisfaction out of it. "I warned you what would happen if you touched me again. Be happy you can walk."

He gives me a wicked smile and then turns and walks away. When he can't see me anymore, I let myself feel shame and embarrassment wash over me. Of course Jace wouldn't want me. I mean look at me, I'm nothing compared to so many other girls.

I feel my shoulders slump and all I want to do is run into the bathroom and cry.

Jace walks over in front of me, but I can't bring myself to look at his perfect face with my imperfect one. "Hey, you okay?" I just nod my head and he doesn't ask any other questions. He guides me down the hallway toward my next class and I head inside without saying a word to him.

After the last bell rings for the end of the school day I head to my locker, knowing I'm in no rush to meet Simon since I have detention. I close my locker door to have Jace leaning against the lockers. "Ready for detention you rebel?"

I give him a small smile before starting to walk toward the art room where detention is being held. Sebastian's words are still ringing in my head, but I will not allow him, or anyone else, the satisfaction of seeing me fall.

I have not cried. And I will not cry.

I know I'm plain. I know I'm short. I know I lack any sort of curves.

But I'm grateful for the friends I have, Jace included, and will not let myself get down on things I can't change. Now I know what Jace has been doing, which crushes me, but that's why we're just friends.

_Protect yourself. Protect your heart Clary._

Sebastian and Madame Dorthea are already in the room as we walk in. Sebastian's face has blossomed into shades of purple and blue, but he still gives me that creepy smile. I head toward the opposite side of the room from him, feeling his eyes on me the entire time. Jace sits between Sebastian and I, making it a point to conceal as much of me as possible if Sebastian were to look to his right at me.

And that's how detention goes.

Sebastian looks over at us every once in a while. Jace glares at Sebastian. And I just stare forward, still not looking Jace in the eye. Madame Dorthea occasionally asks me to come look at something on her computer screen for the advanced art class, but aside from that, I don't speak.

After the hour is up, we don't leave until Sebastian walks out of the room. Madame Dorthea just gives us an understanding nod before turning her attention back to her computer.

We walk out into the parking lot, which has a very limited number of cars in it. "I'll see ya around," I mumble and start to head out onto the sidewalk to walk home.

Jace falls into step right beside me.

"You know, I think I'll take you up on that help with the applications. I'll walk you home."

I stop and meet his gaze, looking at his perfect face. "Is that the reason you want to walk me home?" I know him better than that.

He shrugs his shoulders with a smirk on his face. "No, not really."

"Then thanks, but I'm good," I say even though I want to stay with him, "you can head home."

He frowns and shakes his head as he puts his hands on my shoulders. "I just," he says with sincerity, "I just want to make sure you get home okay and that you're alright. Is that too much to ask as a friend?"

I let out a dramatic sigh, because it really isn't too much to ask. "Fine," I mutter out as I start walking again, "but we're walking."

He gives me one of those smiles I love.

"Fine by me."

And so we start walking home.


	11. Knight in Shining Armor

-Jace-

I kept my distance from her for two weeks, keeping strictly in the boundaries of friendship, even though every thought I have reverts back to that night. And it is killing me, and I mean  _killing_  me, but Clary seems to be happy. So I've been going on and being the friend she wants me to be, and not the boyfriend that I want to be.

And Clary has been, well, Clary… sarcasm and all. Little secret? I've been even more arrogant, cocky, and even asshole-worthy, if that's possible, just to get her attention every once in a while.

But as I walk Clary home, something's off.

Something is wrong.

It's just that, the light that always emanates from Clary is just a little bit duller since the incident in the hall today. I don't know what Sebastian said to her when I saw him whisper something in her ear, but whatever it was has really upset her, and I can't imagine what it is.

I see red even thinking about him being in that close of a proximity to her.

Sebastian won't get away with touching her bare arms, since she was wearing a tank top, or speaking to her like that. But when Clary punched him, I was stunned. Where the hell does a small girl like Clary learn to pack a punch like that? It was, without a doubt, one of the most brilliant things she has done since I have known her.

I cannot tell you the pride that swelled inside of me when she stuck up and was protecting me when she was the one that I was supposed to be protecting, at least, in my mind I'm her protector.

Ever since we decided to be friends on that fateful night two weeks ago, I have not had that dream once. Not one time has Clary visited me in my sleep asking if I will protect her, and yet, I feel like it's engrained in me to help and protect her in any way I can. Not because I need to or that she needs me to, because she doesn't.

It's because I want to.

We make our way down the block away from the school and head toward the apartments where I had dropped her off after we stopped dancing that night. I would have stayed like that all night with her in my arms if I had the choice. We walk into the empty apartment and she tosses her keys on the counter. An awkward silence fills the room.

A distinct smell fills my nose as I inhale deeply.

 _What_  is it?

Coffee? Yeah, definitely coffee. But it's something else too. I'd ask, but I'm currently getting the awkward silence treatment, not even the angry kind, which I have dealt with.

Clary's actually the one who breaks me out of my thoughts, instead of the other way around. "So, do you want a drink or something?" I had just planned on making sure she got in okay, but if she's offering me to stay longer, I'll take it.

"Sure, whatever's fine," I say as she heads toward the small kitchen. I follow her into the kitchen and sit at the table.

The awkward silence ensues, nothing like the comfortable silence of two weeks ago.

Something is definitely wrong.

She pours both of us a glass of water and then heads toward the kitchen table where I have been sitting and watching her. "Thanks, by the way," she says as she hands me the water.

I give her a confused look. "For what?"

"You know, coming to my rescue and everything," she states, still not meeting my eyes. I think she's looked at me directly only once since the fight and it's driving me crazy.

I roll my eyes even though she can't see it. "You didn't need rescuing Clary. I think you proved that you can take care of yourself, not that I didn't know that. I just wasn't letting that bastard screw with my friend like that." I notice that she flinches slightly at my phrasing, but she smiles meekly.

"I wasn't trying to prove anything, but thanks."

"Where the hell did you learn how to punch like that?" I ask because I still have that image on replay in my head.

She laughs openly and gives me the first genuine smile in a while, meeting my eyes. "Self defense classes. My mom was insistent that me, her, and Jon take them a few years back. They've come in handy I guess."

I laugh now too. "I'd say that's an understatement." She smiles again, but it doesn't reach her eyes. She doesn't say anything. I can see her getting lost in her own thoughts like she so often does, but I want her to be here, with me. And I need to know what has her so down.

"Clary, are you okay?" I ask. I hesitate only for a moment before taking her hand, drawing her back to reality. Friends do that, right? I don't know, but I do know that the familiar electricity is something that is not a common occurrence among friends.

"I'm fine," is all she says.

"Clary," I say more sternly, "please tell me what's wrong. What did Sebastian say to you?"

Her head jerks up at that. "How do you know he said something to me?"

"I saw him whisper in your ear, and you haven't been acting like yourself since then," I tell her, because I want her to act normal, not this withdrawn Clary. She had been open with me two weeks ago. We've been friendly toward each other.

She even brought her sketch book out in front of me today. A fact that seemed lost on her, but sent my spirits soaring to the heavens when it seemed second nature to her. She  _trusted_  me.

So why can't she tell me this?

She sighs, saying, "It's nothing important."

I let go of her hand and wrap my fingers gently on her chin, tilting her head towards mine. "Clary please look at me. You can tell me anything. Please tell me what he said." She is the only one that makes me like this.

I can see her cheeks begin to flush, but not the way I love. This is her trying not to let herself get upset.

"He told me- he told me- that I should have taken his offer of- of- screwing him since n- nobody else wants my twelve year old body."

I pull my hand away, completely taken aback, but she goes on. "And then," she stutters, her eyes never leaving mine, "he said that that's the reason you're n- not interested in me anymore and why you've been screwing a b- bunch of girls." She looks on the verge of tears, but if I know one thing about Clary, it's that she does not let anybody see her upset or crying.

I am absolutely speechless. No words even come to mind. "And you believe him?" I croak out without thinking. Clary just looks at me like I have all of the answers, like she needs me to tell her it's a lie.

"Clary, I haven't been screwing anybody," I speak with absolute clarity. Her eyes scan my face, and to my relief, her posture relaxes. "I mean, I have been going out with- other girls," her eyes look away, "but it's because-"

I stop dead in my tracks. How do I tell her that I have taken girls out, kissed a few girls over the past two weeks trying to get her out of my head? To convince myself that she's just my friend and nothing more?

"It's because what?" She asks almost inaudibly.

_Tell her Jace._

Those three words have been screaming at me for two weeks. Do I tell her how she is the only girl ever to make me feel this way? How I can't ever get her out of my head? How it's practically a need to see her every day?

_Take the leap Jace._

I take a deep breath. "It's because I've been trying to convince myself that I just want you to be my friend and nothing more. And I'm failing miserably," I whisper, though it feels like I'm yelling it with how quiet the room is.

I try to meet Clary's eyes, but she refuses to look at me and gets up from the table. "I don't believe you. I'm not like those girls you've been with. Sebastian's right about that part," she whispers the same way I had just moments ago.

How can she not see it? How can she not see how much I want to be with her? How can she not see how beautiful she is? How perfect she is?

I stand up from the table and slip my hand into hers, and she doesn't pull away. "Where's your bathroom?" She gives me a quizzical look, but leads me down a narrow hallway into the bathroom. She flicks the light on and turns to leave, but I shake my head and guide her in front of the mirror, my hands still on her shoulders tingling from the contact.

We're looking at each other through the reflections in the mirror. We look perfect standing in the reflection. Her standing right in front of me, but I need her to see that too.

I lean toward her ear never breaking contact with her eyes in the mirror and whisper, "Tell me what you see." And I can feel her shiver beneath my hands.

Her stare doesn't waver. "Honest truth?"

I nod my head. "I'll tell the truth if you do."

She sighs like she's about to reveal a secret. "I see a vertically challenged girl who gets confused with middle schoolers because of her height," she says.

I love her height.

I smile before saying, "Perfect height for me though," as I rest my head on top of hers, and I see her mouth twitch upward slightly.

"And I see obnoxiously red hair that is near impossible to tame and makes me the center of 'ginger' jokes."

I love her hair.

I take my head off of hers and gather her red hair that flows down her back and lay it over her left shoulder so that it is all off to one side. I can feel my hands shaking slightly. Definitely nerves from being this close to her and her letting me touch her. "I think it makes you look like an exotic beauty, and whenever I see it bobbing down the hallway I can't help but smile."

This brings my favorite blush to her face, but she's continues stubbornly.

"I also see pale skin that makes me look like a ghost. Kaelie made some snide comment about how it's so pasty even though I lived in Miami."

I love her skin.

With her hair draped over her left shoulder, her right shoulder is left bare except for the strap of her tank top. Without thinking, I run my hands down her bare arms and smile when I see goosebumps trailing behind my hands.

_It's not just you Jace. She feels it too._

I lean down and barely place by lips on her shoulder and I hear her take in a breath in a gasp.

"I think your skin is flawless," I say into her shoulder, my lips barely brushing her skin.

I can feel my heart slamming in my chest and I have no doubt she feels it beating into her back with how close we are.

I graze my lips over her bare shoulder towards the crook of her neck, and to my surprise, Clary arches her neck so that I have more skin to cover as she lets out a sigh. I can see her eyes closed in the mirror. "Freckles," she gasps out as I kiss the crook of her neck, "I have freckles."

I love her freckles. I love h- Do I? Is that what I'm feeling?

I let my lips leave a ghost of a touch over her ear before whispering in her ear, "I think your freckles are beautiful Clary. You are so, so beautiful and you don't even see it."

By now, both of us are breathing deeper than we were when we walked into the bathroom, and I feel my body's senses aware of everything Clary.

She opens her eyes with a look I have never seen and turns to face me, resting her hands on my chest, and I can feel my whole body blazing with heat. I'm sure my face is just as flushed as hers.

She opens her mouth to say something when we hear a blaring ring coming from the kitchen.

We both whip our heads toward the noise and realization crosses Clary's face.

"What's my laptop- Oh my god! I forgot about Jon!"

Clary runs out of the bathroom, leaving me standing there, shocked and breathless.

I did it.

I just told her how I feel, and she was going to say something.

And now she's gone.

I shake my head and head back toward the kitchen. I'm not upset, just… confused. I can hear a conversation going on as I walk in to see Clary standing in front of her laptop placed on the counter.

"Did you forget about the video chat date you set up with your brother a week ago Fireball?" A voice asks from the laptop speakers. Brother? This must be Jon, the guy I had no reason to be jealous over because he's Clary's brother.

Clary rolls her eyes, but I can see she's flustered. Her light, her glow is back. I smile knowing I did that. She comments back. "I didn't forget per say. I remembered this morning. I just… got a little distracted throughout the day." I stand in the doorway of the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt. Clary doesn't glance over at me.

"And what kind of distractions are we talking about, hm? The detention kind?"

Clary gawks at the screen. "I swear by the angel you are a mind reader sometimes, you know?"

Her brother laughs, "Or… mom got a call from the school saying you punched a guy and texted me about it." Clary's face turns even redder, making me notice that she is still flustered and her face still has that lovely blush. I internally laugh knowing she's trying to seem calm to her brother.

"I- I- that asshole deserved it," she stammers out. Agreed.

"Don't worry Fireball, I approve, and so does mom. Of course, it doesn't hurt that your knight in shining armor was there too, right?"

" _Jon_ ," Clary whispers menacingly, and even warningly, while glancing over and meeting my eyes. If possible, her face turns even redder.

Knight in shining armor? Is that supposed to be me?

"Oh don't tell me he's there Fireball." Clary's face confirms his assumptions. "Well, tell him to get over here so I can get a look at the dude who pulled you away from the bitch with the punch."

I take the cue and walk over beside Clary where she introduces us. They look nothing alike. Jon is all pale blonde hair and dark eyes as opposed to Clary's flaming locks. I say hi as the phone rings down the hall and Clary runs to get it, saying she'll be right back and not to say anything stupid.

Now it's just me and Jon.

"Thanks for watching out for her, sometimes she gets in over her head," he tells me.

I shrug my shoulders. "What can I say, she can handle herself, but that's what friends do."

Even if one said friend just told the other said friend that he wants to be more than just friends. But you don't tell her brother things like that.

He rolls his eyes while laughing on the screen. "Friends, huh? Is that what they call it these days?" He sets himself on another round of chuckling.

What is  _that_  supposed to mean?

Before I can ask Clary walks back into the kitchen and stands next to me so that she's visible to her brother. "Who was on the phone?" He asks casually.

"Dunno," Clary says, "nobody answered me when I picked up. Must have been a wrong number or something." She brushes it off, but as I glance at Jon, there's a fleeting moment where he looks like he wants to ask more, but then he brushes it off as well.

"So…" Clary continues, "what were you two talking about?"

"Oh, you know, just telling the knight about how you  _never_ stop talking about him," Jon says with a wink.

Clary makes a stuttering noise. "That's not- I've never- Jon!" She turns toward me as I wear a smirk on my face. "Wipe that smirk off your face. All I've said about you is how you pulled me away from Kaelie at the dance," she states stubbornly. Any hint of passion she had in the bathroom seems to have faded.

"Sure, that's what I meant," Jon laughs. "Look Fireball, I gotta go. Talk to ya this weekend?" Clary agrees to a meeting time. The last thing Jon says before the screen goes blank is, "catch ya around knight." And Clary shoots him a venomous look which leaves him laughing until the sound is shut off.

Knight in shining armor, huh?

* * *

-Clary-

If I could describe absolute mortification, it would be this moment. This moment where my brother just told the guy whose supposed to be my friend how I talk about him nonstop and how our name for him is the knight in shining armor.

The same friend who has just told me that he wants to be more than friends with me. Who told me such beautiful things about me. Whose lips on my skin left me breathless and wanting so much more. Whose body leaning into mine felt so right. Whose heart was pounding just as hard as mine.

Who told me I was beautiful and made me feel beautiful and wanted.

Who made my heart soar with possibilities.

Who now is staring at me as we stand in the kitchen where the awkward silence from before has returned for an entirely different reason.

The things Max had told me come flitting back to the front of my mind.

"So…" Jace drags the word out, making things even more awkward. "Do-"

"Do you want to watch a movie?" I blurt out before he can say anything else.

He looks at me for a second with a hint of disappointment before saying "sure."

I have no clue what movie I even put into the DVD player as we sit down on the couch, leaving space between us and both of our hands placed on our laps.

All of my focus is on the distance between me and Jace and how it could be possible that the static electricity is still ringing between us. His hair is as golden as ever, and every few moments I catch him stealing a glance at me as well. Our hands stay on our laps.

About ten minutes into the movie, Jace lifts his hand and reaches over me to grab the remote without looking at me. He directs it toward the TV and it turns off.

Silence ensues again. "Why did you do that?" Because I don't know what else to say.

He gives me a knowing look. "You weren't paying any more attention to that than I was. I can't even tell you a character's name or the title of the film."

I just stare at him.

"I think," he stammers, "I think we should talk about before."

Oh god. Does he regret what he said? What he did? He must.

I look down at my hands in my lap. "It's okay, I get it."

"No," Jace lets out a breathy laugh, "I don't think you do Clary."

I dare to meet his gaze, and I'm shocked to see the longing in his eyes. The want in his eyes.

Can he see it in mine?

"Clary, I can't be your friend, it's driving me crazy. I can't let guys look at you and think that they have a chance, because I want to be the guy that makes them see that they don't have a chance," he says with such simplicity that I'm left utterly speechless.

_I've been trying to convince myself that I just want you to be my friend and nothing more._

He did mean it. He has feelings for me like I have for him. The realization almost brings me to tears, the good kind… almost.

I still can't speak, so he scoots closer to me until there's no space between us on the couch and he cups my face in his hands. I knew they were calloused from the few times he has held my hand, but this is entirely different. His touch is as light and as gentle as can be, like he might break me. And I can feel the slight sweat on his palms.

"Every single time I look at you, I have to stop myself from-"

"From what?" I whisper out shakily.

He lets out a trembling breath before saying, "to stop myself from doing this."

He leans his head toward mine agonizingly slow and his lips meet mine ever so tentatively, as if he is unsure of how I will react.

I'm left speechless, but that doesn't stop me from weaving my hands into his smooth, golden hair as he starts to pull away. How many times have I imagined running my hands through this hair? I can feel the surprise in his body when he realizes I'm not going to pull back, as if I would  _ever_  pull away from him.

I press our lips firmly together until they are gliding smoothly across one another, and if I had said before that nothing had felt so perfect, I was wrong.

 _This_  was perfect.

We are breathing in each other's air and I pull way only long enough to whisper breathlessly, "Me too, I feel it too. I want it too."

I look into his eyes to see them in the most heart stopping shade of gold. His hands still hold me on each side of my face as our lips continue to explore one another's and he leans back on the couch pulling me on top of him. Our chests are flushed together and our hearts are both slamming in an erratic beat.

His cheeks are flushed as he breaks the kiss to place butterfly kisses over my cheeks, my eyes, and then one last kiss on my forehead.

Simple. Such a simple kiss and my mind is all but mush. There's no reckless passion or heavy lip locking. Maybe there'll be a time for that, but right now this is all we need. A sweet kiss to know that we feel the same way about each other.

I've only kissed a few boys, but nothing compared to this.

The look Jace gives me as he looks up into my eyes practically melts me on the spot. He removes his hand from one side of my face to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "Wow," is all he whispers out.

I chuckle and look down at him, making a curtain around us with my hair. "Wow is a good description."

Jace takes a deep breath in and out that raises me up down as I lay on his chest. His face seems thoughtful and I need to know what he's thinking. Seeing the look on my face tells him my curiosity. "What's that smell?"

Of all things, this is what Jace Lightwood says after kissing me?

"What?" I ask, completely confused.

"The smell. It's coffee, but it's something else too."

Oh, I know that smell all too well. "It's paint. Paint and coffee."

"Hm," he ponders as he releases my face to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me closer to him. "That's an interesting combo."

I shrug to the best of my abilities. "The two most important things in my life, you know, aside from family and Simon." That's how it has always been.

He closes his eyes like he is deep in thought before opening them and smiling. "You think a drop dead gorgeous boyfriend can make it onto the list of important things in Clary's life?"

I roll my eyes, but my heart starts going triple time.

He wants to be my boyfriend.

He wants me to be his girlfriend.

And overwhelming joy settles inside me.

"I think if his inflated ego can fit that it's doable," I joke.

That smile that I always treasure, and that I've been trying to get down on paper, meets me as I gaze down at him.

"I don't know about that, I am just that amazing. You can't control an ego that's rightfully inflated."

I let out a content sigh as I rest my head on his chest. I'd take him any way he was willing to give me, and from what I've seen from him so far, he was showing me everything.

"I think I can handle it."


	12. Wingman

-Jace-

"Favorite color."

"All of them."

"Come on, you have to have one color you like better than the rest."

"I'm an artist Jace, I use loads of colors. It changes with the day or my mood."

"Oh? And what's today's color."

She takes a second to think it over. "Gold." And I'm grinning like an idiot, yet again.

"Any particular shade?" I ask, even though I have an inkling of an idea of the answer.

Clary takes another second before responding. "There's this guy at school whose eyes are the strangest color of gold. It's fascinating."

"Yeah, I think I know the guy," I ponder, "it's honestly unfair how good looking he is."

Clary snorts adorably before saying, "it's a shame his ego's the size of Manhattan. Next question."

"Fine. Favorite food."

"Hm, before or after experiencing those coconut pancakes?" Clary muses as her head still rests on my chest. We haven't moved in what seems like forever but still isn't long enough.

I smile for what seems like the thousandth time today even if Clary can't see it. She's been resting her head on my chest while we ask random questions about each other.

"Before. Obviously nothing compares to them since your first mouthgasm." Clary groans into my chest like the word has some kind of double meaning. Well, I mean, I guess it does. But Clary's so… innocent. It's too amusing not to pass up seeing her flustered.

"First of all," she mutters, still hiding her face in my chest, "that still isn't a word. I checked."

"Clary," I gasp out in fake offense, "have you no trust that I would never tell you a lie? I told you that a mouthgasm is a legitimate word, it's like food porn." And with that, I get the intended reaction. She whips her head up so that I'm staring into glowing emeralds and a face that has turned the rosiest of reds.

" _Where_  do you come up with these things?" She asks exasperated.

"Have you honestly never heard of the internet? I mean really, my girlfriend needs to be educated on important things like this," I joke, but the smile I get takes my breath away.

Girlfriend. Clary Fray is my  _girlfriend_.

And I kissed her.

And it was simple.

And it was perfect.

And it was mindblowing.

Not in the sense that we were overcome with passion, but that I've never kissed anyone and actually felt something. With Clary, all I'm ever doing is feeling, whether it's physically or emotionally. The idea terrifies me.

I haven't loosened my grip around her waist since our kiss and she hasn't made a move to get off of me, so I don't move. I just savor the moment for all that it's worth. I sigh contentedly as Clary rests her head back on my chest and starts tracing patterns on my shirt and shoulders with her finger. It amazes me how calm it makes me.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you this relaxed before." Clary comments as she continues doodling on me.

"I'm always relaxed," I tell her with my eyes closed.

"No," she continues, "that's not true. You always are tensed, ready with some witty remark or arrogant comment. It's nice to see this side of you." Only Clary would be able to see right through me, another thing that terrifies me. She sees through my exterior into  _me_ , looking through that carefully guarded shield I put up for everyone else.

"How do you do it?" The question slips out, and honestly, I don't even regret it.

"Do what?" She stops her doodling.

"How can you see things I try so carefully to keep hidden?"

The confusion on her face coupled with her trying to lift herself off of my chest tells me she misunderstood what I meant. "I- I don't mean to. I thought you were showing me." She leans away from me, but I just tighten my arms around her and gently pull her back down to me.

"You see, that's just it. It's not a bad thing Clary. You're right, I do show myself to you, and it scares me how much I want you to know me." She opens her mouth to say something, but I don't give her the chance. I capture her mouth with mine.

And then we're kissing.

Just like before, it's like nothing in the world is happening except Clary and me. Nothing else exists except for the two of us on the couch in her living room.

I didn't think that feeling I get when touching her would come across with kissing her, but boy was I wrong.

Kissing her is all of that feeling channeled.

It's electrifying.

This kiss is longer than the last. Slower. It's like we're trying to memorize each other's lips and everything else that comes with it.

She gasps right before I kiss her, like she's surprised.

She tastes just like she smells… vanilla.

She runs her hands up along my chest until they are tangled in my hair.

She-

Before I can finish my thought, I feel something vibrating in my pocket. Clary pulls away and smiles at me like I'm the only thing in her world.

And I love it.

But my damn phone keeps vibrating in my pocket and it won't stop. I groan and loosen my grip on Clary until my hands are placed softly on her hips. She laughs before rolling off me. "You should answer that."

"I really don't have to," I say mischievously as I pull her back for a quick kiss before she pulls away again.

She laughs again, but it's subdued with the passion I see in her eyes. I don't think I'll ever get tired of it. "Jace, seriously, what if it's important."

I huff out before pulling out my phone and looking at the number.

I press the answer button. "Yes Alec?"

"Where are you right now?" He asks. Alec and I talk on the phone all the time, but our conversations never start out like that.

I glance over at Clary who is now sitting at the other end of the couch. I sit upright as well and pull her over to me until she is resting against me with my unoccupied arm wrapped around her. "That's a random question. Where is my state of mind currently? My physical location? My progression through life?"

"Don't be cryptic Jace. I just got home and I thought you'd be here to surprise, but," he sighs, "obviously you're not." I stand a little bit straighter.

"Wait. Your home right now?" At that, Clary glances up at me, a small smile on her face.

I can imagine Alec's eye roll as he says, "that is what I just said."

"Are you staying long?" I ask, trying to hide the hopefulness in my voice. I may have fooled Alec, but Clary gives me a look that tells me I'm not fooling her.

"Magnus and I are heading back later, so you should come home soon before we head out."

"All right," I say as I start to get up, "I'll be home in half an hour." We say quick goodbyes and then I'm tucking my phone back into my pocket. As I stand, Clary does as well.

"My brother decided to visit without mentioning it," I tell her as I wrap my arms around her waist again, "I have to go."

She smiles up at me and wraps her arms around me as well, saying, "it's okay. If it was Jon I'd be hightailing it out of here." I smile down at her and give her a quick kiss before letting go.

"You can come if you want," I add as the thought occurs to me. I want her to meet Alec, even Magnus.

She reaches up and pecks my lips. "Maybe next time. Mom and Luke should be home soon and I think I need to explain the whole 'detention' situation." Right. I wonder if Maryse and Robert got a call too.

She releases her arms around me and I do the same as we walk toward the door. "I'll see you tomorrow then? I can pick you up if you want."

"That's okay. It's not like I live far away. Plus, I don't want to ditch Simon."

"Then I'll meet you in the parking lot," I state so there's no objection.

As she opens the door I turn back around to give her one more kiss. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer to her, trying to deepen the kiss, but I pull away. Her face is flushed again and the look on her face brings a smirk to mine. At this rate, I'll never get home. I head out the door before I get completely distracted by Clary, who seems to be a pro at it.

"See ya tomorrow," I say with a wink.

* * *

As I walk into the living room, I'm smiling like a fool thinking about Clary. I'm so wrapped up in thoughts about her that I don't even see the figure lounging on the couch.

"Well look who decided to join the party," the voice comments while sitting up.

I give him my trademark smirk, "It's never a party until I arrive Magnus." I take a moment to look at my brother's boyfriend and all of his extravagance. I had told Clary about Magnus and his outfits, and I was not exaggerating. They're always… interesting. He's wearing neon yellow skinny jeans with a black sequined shirt. His eyes are traced in what I assume is eyeliner and his black hair is covered, and I mean covered, in sparkly glitter. It's hard to even see the blue tips that are spiked up in every which direction. "Did a glitter bomb explode on you or something?"

He rolls his eyes, "Oh Jace, always the creative one with your remarks. As a matter of fact, I just bought this new glitter spray. I tried getting Alec to use it, but he refused," he trails off completely unaware to why Alec would refuse. Where Magnus is loud and colorful, my brother is quiet and modest.

Polar opposites.

But Alec is finally happy. I will be forever grateful to Magnus even if I don't admit it to him. Before Magnus, Alec kept his sexuality a secret and he was never truly happy. Izzy and I had guessed as much, but he would never admit it. And then Magnus came along and changed everything. Alec came out and our family stayed the same. Magnus is an interesting character to get used to since he is so different from Alec, but he was welcomed openly by the family. Robert had a bit of a hard time at first, but he's come around. Magnus and Alec have been together for two years, and it's nice to see my brother relaxed, and well, just happy.

"Well, it looks good on you," I comment before thinking. The shock on Magnus's face is almost immediate.

Before he can say anything though, the door connected to the kitchen swings open and my brother, as raggedy as ever, comes into the room.

If you ever compared Alec, Izzy, Max, and I, it's clear who the adopted one is. While I'm all blonde hair and gold eyes, those three have raven black hair and either blue or black eyes. Alec's blue eyes make him stand out amongst his neutral colored clothing. Maryse always calls them the heart stoppers. Magnus even mentioned how that was how Alec caught his attention.

"Jace! You're back!" He says as he comes over and we exchange a quick hug. I haven't seen him since school started, which granted, has only been a month or so, but a lot can change in a month.

Trust me.

My own smile is mirrored in his face. He turns to Magnus, who is still looking at me in shock, like I just spit fire out of my mouth. "Mag, are you okay?" Alec asks while walking over to him.

"Alec darling," Magnus says while still looking at me strangely, "I think there's something wrong with your brother."

A smirk comes across my lips as Alec turns to me confused. "Why do you say that? You're not ill, are you Jace?"

I stretch my arms out while saying, "Healthy as a horse."

"No," Magnus says, "he actually complimented me. I thought I'd throw all of my glitter away before I saw the day where Jace Lightwood said something nice."

Apparently Alec agrees with that statement, because he looks at me with his eyebrows scrunched together. "Uh, are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Hey," I say as I raise my hand to my chest, "I am capable of being nice."

"What about being nice?" Izzy asks as she strolls into the room.

"We think Jace hit his head or something. He's not ill, and he just said he liked my glitter," Magnus says with a look that has become amused, like he has just realized something. "Or… there's a girl."

Alec snorts at that, "Mag, there's always a girl."

I roll my eyes at both of them, knowing Magnus is on the right track. "Or… I can just be nice. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Or...," Izzy adds while moving to stand next to Magnus, "there is a girl. A certain short, red headed girl." She smiles like she's won a victory. "How was detention Jace?"

I glare at her, but before I can make a snide remark, Maryse walks into the room. "What about detention?" Ugh, the school didn't call her like they had called Clary's mom. I guess since she punched Sebastian that was reason for a phone call.

"Nothing," I remark nonchalantly, "I may or may not have had detention today." Maryse fixes me with her own glare. "It was for a good reason though."

"And what," Maryse asks with her arms crossed in front of her, "could possibly be a good reason for getting detention?" She moves to stand next to Izzy so that all four of them are in a line in front of me. It's like I'm about to be lectured.

Izzy beats me to it. "He and Clary got into a fight with this ass at school," she says to no one in particular. Maryse fixes her with another glare at her use of profanity. "What?" Izzy says innocently. "He is, and I guess Clary punched him. I'm so proud of her," Izzy comments with a prideful gleam in her eyes.

"Who's Clary?"

"What happened with Clary?"

"Is she the one turning you soft?"

All three questions come from Alec, Maryse, and Magnus all at once.

Before I can answer any of them Max walks into the room. "What about Clary?"

I tilt my head to the ceiling and take a deep breath. I had not planned on coming home to be interrogated by my entire family. At least I know Robert's at work and won't come butting into the conversation.

"Okay," I say as I stare at the four people in front of me. Max moves to stand next to me. It's us against them. "No, I am not ill. I did not bump my head. I am capable of being nice if I want to be Magnus. Maybe it has something to do with a certain red head. Detention was great Izzy. Lots of fun. And Maryse, the guy deserved what he got, and it's done and over with."

I say it all in a rush before I can be interrupted.

Magnus opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.

"And Clary is my girlfriend."

And that is what does the trick. All of their mouths drop as if I had just said I was running off to the circus and wearing a unitard for the rest of my days.

I just fix them with another smirk. Maybe Clary is changing me, but I guess my confident smirk is not one of those things. Izzy opens her mouth and closes it a few times like she wants to say something but it not sure what to say. Alec and Magnus look like they're having trouble hearing what I just said. Maryse just smiles at me knowingly.

"I'm a good wingman."

All five of us whip our heads to look at Max. "What did you just say Max?"

He reaches up to push his glasses back up on his nose before saying, "I said I'm a good wingman."

"Why do you say that sweetie?" Maryse asks with a smile on her face.

Instead of addressing her, he turns to face me. I can only imagine how confused I must look. "You said I'm your wingman, right Jace?"

I smile and give him an affectionate pat on the head, "That's right little guy."

"Well, when Clary was here for the dance, I was talking to her in the hallway. I told her she's special to you and that she should forgive you," he says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I didn't think I was being a wingman then, but I thought about it afterwards, and isn't that wingmen do? They tell the girl what the guy thinks about them and give them advice?"

And I thought Clary was the only one who can leave me speechless. Max managed to leave a whole room without words.

He continues on, "Obviously I was being a wingman since she forgave you and now she's your girlfriend." He looks from me to the other four, and smiles spread across all of our faces.

"What?" He asks as his face scrunches in confusion.

"Max," Izzy says while shaking her head, "you are an absolute genius. You managed to get Jace his first actual girlfriend."

"Actual girlfriend? You mean he hangs out with girls? I thought Jace believed girls had cooties," he says as if I was the ten year old and he was the eighteen year old.

And that's when everyone bursts into laughter. To my relief, nobody comments on my player status to my little brother, which I am grateful for. I don't want Max to know about that, but I do want him to know about Clary. That's why I've told him about her, not even thinking he would say anything to her. I always joke with him about being my wingman when he asks why I don't ever have a girlfriend. I'm touched that he actually did it. He helped me with Clary.

He turns back to me. "What's so funny?"

I don't say anything. I just bend down to lift him up and throw him over my shoulder where he erupts into squeals and giggles.

"Max Lightwood, you are the best wing man a guy could ask for."


	13. Just Say It

-Clary-

_There's too long of a nose._

_The eyes are squinty._

_The chip in the tooth is all wrong._

_Do you really think his hair is that curly?_

And on, and on, and on my inner monologue goes chastising me on my inability to draw the boy who left my mind whirling.

I rip another failed drawing out of my sketchbook and crumple it into a ball, throwing it on the ground so that it can join the ten other crumpled balls at the foot of the couch.

Why is it so difficult to draw him? I mean, yeah, he looks like a god damn angel, but I've drawn him before and have never had a problem. Actually, that's a lie. I've drawn him once, and it's a side profile, so I guess I don't really have an excuse. Jace has just left my mind boggled.

I sigh out in frustration and toss my book on the coffee table, effectively ending my drawing session, and lean my head against the couch as my mind becomes consumed with thoughts of Jace. Did everything that happened today really occur? I punched Sebastian, got detention, was embarrassed by Jon, kissed Jace, and am now dating him. Jeese.

Before I can let my thoughts wander to the events that played out with Jace earlier, there's a knock at the door. I pull myself off of the couch, kicking some of the failed pictures of Jace on the ground in my haste to get to the door. For a slight moment, I think it's Jace, but I quickly distinguish that thought, knowing he's with his brother. I open the door to find the next best thing.

"Simon!" I exclaim before wrapping my arms around his neck.

My enthusiasm of seeing him takes him by surprise as he shuffles back a few steps out of the doorway with me in his arms trying to avoid us falling to the ground.

"Woah, hi to you too," he chuckles as I release my hold on him and take a step back. I smile at him, to which he gives me a confused look. "What's got you all light and cheery Fray?"

Oh, if he only knew.

"Can't a girl be happy to see her best friend?" I ask innocently as I drag him into the apartment.

"Well," he ponders, "yes, if you hadn't seen him in like, a couple days or something. But Clary, I was with you at lunch and I would have been with you walking home on a normal day, which I guess, it wasn't," he gives me a sideways glance. "And that actually leads to why I'm here Miss 'I punched one of the biggest asshats in the school today.'" With that I get a pointed look from him through his glasses.

"Oh," I remark while avoiding his gaze, "that."

"Yes that!" Simon all but shouts as he flings his hands in the air. "Clary!  _What_ were you thinking!? He could have hurt you, or you could have gotten suspended or expelled, and then what? You would be -"

"Simon," I cut him off. I know he means well and he's freaking out because he cares, but I can't help the bit of anger that wells in me at the thought that he doesn't think I can take care of myself. He stops speaking and just stares at me, telling me he's listening. "I'm fine, okay? Please don't freak out. It's done and over with. I served my detention time and now we can move past it."

He gives me an incredulous look. "Just move past it? Clary, do you have any idea how worried I've been?" I just shake my head, because why should he be worried? He lets out a deep sigh. "Imagine going to class after lunch only to hear people talking about how your best friend was just practically assaulted by Sebastian and how she ended up punching him in the face, or knocking him out, or kicking him in the groin, or whatever rumor is actually true. All I know is that apparently there was blood. How you have no idea if she is okay, what rumors are true and which ones are false, if anyone was there to help her, where she is, if she's hurt." His steady brown eyes never leave mine as he's talking.

"And then," he continues, "you leave your class freaking out trying to find her, but she's nowhere to be found. You find out from Izzy that she has detention, but that she's okay. She hasn't answered any of the tons of messages you have left her, and then you find out that you apparently shouldn't have worried because, as Izzy puts it, 'Jace was there to protect her.'" He puts air quotes around that last part and it's hard not to miss the sneer in his voice.

And just like that, guilt washes over me. I didn't even think about Simon waiting for me to walk home after school, or him hearing rumors about the fight, or him trying to make contact with me. I'm pretty sure I haven't looked at my phone since this morning. It's probably still buried in the bottom of my bag.

What makes matters worse is that I had just said to Jace earlier that I didn't want to ditch Simon walking to school, and that is exactly what I've been doing all day not telling him I'm okay.

"Jace," Simon states with loathing, breaking me out of my guilty thoughts, "Jace Lightwood was there to save you."

With the guilt comes back my earlier anger.

"I didn't need saving Simon! God, why can't you believe that I can handle myself!?" I yell at him, and he's clearly taken a back. "I'm not some defenseless little girl who needs someone around saving her ass every five minutes!"

Simon rolls his eyes at me before stepping toward me, but I take a step back, the anger getting stronger and stronger. "Jeese Clary, do you think I don't know that? You could kick my ass in about two seconds if you wanted to. I mean really, you've had freaking self defense classes and you know how to handle yourself." He takes another step forward and I don't move. I stand my ground and cross my arms over my chest, glaring at him.

We never fight. Simon and I  _never_  fight, and it's such a strange occurrence that I don't think either of us really knows how to react. But I  _am_  mad, and it looks like he is too, but he's much better at controlling his temper.

He closes the distance between us and places his hands on my shoulders. He looks thoughtful as he says, "I'm just upset that I had to find out all of this information from everyone but you."

He gives me a small smile, but then it turns into a frown. "That, and that I wasn't there  _if_  you were to need help. The fact that Jace was there makes it even worse."

I pull back so that his hands drop to his sides. "And why is it such a bad thing that Jace was there?  _If_  I needed help, he could have offered it," I tell him throwing his words back at him. Why does he hate Jace so much?

"Because Clary," Simon says in a frustrated voice, "Jace is bad news, and you've been spending a lot of time together."

" _Woah_ ," I say as I take another step back so that my legs bump into the arm of the couch. "What the hell does one thing have to do with the other?"

And it's like everything clicks into place for me.

"This isn't really about me getting into a fight is it?" I say taking a furious step toward him, and this time, he takes a step back, eyeing me warily. "I mean sure, if I was in a fight any other time, of course you would be worried, but  _this_  fight? This one is different because  _Jace_  was there if I needed help.  _Jace_ was there, which is why you're angry at me! Because  _Jace_  was with me and you have this inherent hatred toward him!" I shout at him with fury radiating through me and I point an accusing finger toward him.

I have never seen Simon angry before, but after my rant, it's clear that he is just as angry as I am.

"You know what Clary? Yeah, that is part of it," he states and we're eyeing each other up at a standstill. "Because I told you he is bad news, and you hated him at the beginning of school year. You ignored him. You said that you couldn't stand him, and yet here you are, laughing with him and joking with him whenever you get a chance ever since the dance! What the hell is going on!?"

"Why does something need to be going on, huh?" I yell, even though he's right, there is something going on. "Why is it such a big deal that Jace was with me? Why does it matter if I spend time with Jace? Why do you care how much time I spend with Jace?"

"I don't like you being around Jace, Clary, okay?" He stares down at me from his height.

Anybody staring down at me like that makes me feel small. It's pointing out how small I am. How defenseless someone like me is constantly labeled as. And it makes me blazing with fury that Simon is doing that, whether it is consciously or unconsciously. It's a low blow.

So I take a low blow back at him.

"Jesus Simon! WHY ARE YOU SO JEALOUS OF JACE!" I scream at him.

"Because I'm in love you!"

The room goes completely silent except for our uneven breaths from yelling.

Simon's shoulders slump in defeat as he looks at me with a hint of desperation in his eyes. "It's because I'm in love with you and I care about what happens to you. I want it to be me there to help you if you need it. I feel like I'm losing you Clary. You've been different the past few weeks, and I don't know what is going on."

For a moment, I wish that we were still screaming at each other. Still arguing over that stupid fight with Sebastian, because this somehow is ten times scarier.

I walk backwards until I bump into the couch again, and I lean back and sit on the arm of it.

"You don't mean that," I whisper to him, unable of thinking about the possibility that he's telling the truth.

"Yes I do," he says with such confidence I'm forced to meet his gaze, only to see him avoiding mine.

I stand up and walk toward him, taking his hands in mine as he looks at me. What am I even supposed to say? "Si, you're my best friend. Of course we love each other, but it's not that kind of love. We're not  _in_  love with each other."

He lets out another sigh before saying, "Clary, I don't know what kind of love it is. I've never loved anyone like this before, but I've also never had a best friend like you and I've never really been in love with someone," he closes his eyes, "and I just don't know what it is."

I pull him toward the couch and we both sit down, facing each other. I do love Simon, really, I do, but it's such a different feeling than being around… Jace. An idea pops into my head and I go with it because I don't have any other thoughts popping up in my mind and being useful.

"Okay, well how about this," I say, and Simon looks at me full of innocence.

My Simon.

My best friend who always watches out for me.

Who was protective of me that first day of school.

Who would have punched Sebastian in the face if he needed to, even if he probably would have gotten beaten to a pulp.

Who is… jealous of Jace.

"When we're holding hands," I lift our joined hands for emphasis, "do you feel electricity running through your body?" I think of the way Jace's touch makes me feel. And how holding Simon's hand is different. It's reassuring and comfortable, but it's not the uncontrollable energy I feel with Jace.

Simon looks at me confused, but then shakes his head no.

"Okay, and when we're playing video games, are you constantly aware of the distance of our bodies? How if you moved a little to the left you'd be that much closer to me?" I think of Jace and me watching the movie before.

Again, he shakes his head. "I'm more concerned with making sure you don't beat my high score," he mutters, and I laugh into the quiet room.

"And when you see me walking down the hall, does your heart start racing and an involuntary smile come to your face? Do your palms get sweaty?" Just as Jace's had when he kissed me? Just as he says he can't help but smile when he sees me?

"No," Simon sighs in defeat, "I don't feel that with you. I feel like I can trust you more than anyone else in the world. I could spend hours upon hours with you and never get tired of you. I can be myself around you and you won't judge me, and I've never had a person in my life like that before."

I smile at him now, because I know exactly what he means. "I feel the same way about you too Si, but that's not mind blowing romantic love, is it?"

This time he gives an imperceptible shake of his head, probably having an inner battle on whether I'm right or not. God I hope I'm right.

I can't lose him.

I let go of his hands and bring mine to each side of his face so that he has no choice but to look me directly in the eyes. "I love you Simon Lewis. You're my best friend and I will never stop being yours, but I'm not the girl that's going to blind you with happiness. I'm the girl that's going to throw you head first at that girl who does do that because you'll think that she doesn't want to talk to you, when in reality she's dying for you to. I'll be the girl to listen to you gush about how perfect she is and how she's 'the one.' And then on your wedding day, I'll be your best man and tell you 'I told you so' because there  _is_  that girl out there waiting for you Simon. It's… it's just not me."

We just stare at each other for a few minutes. That's when I really take him in. Simon is actually very handsome with his chocolate brown eyes and messy brown hair, and any girl would be lucky to call him hers. I'm lucky that we've become so close, because he's my family. Him, mom, Jon, and Luke are my family.

"I love you too Clary Fray," he whispers, and his breath brushes my face. I smile at him and pull back so that we are both sitting back on the couch with our heads tilted toward the ceiling.

"So…," Simon says like he's addressing the ceiling. "If what I'm feeling is not 'mind blowing romantic love,' then I guess now would be a good time to say I'm sorry."

Relief washes over me that he sees what I see, or at least, is open to thinking that his love for me is not what he thinks.

"For what?" I ask in the same way, like I'm questioning the ceiling.

"I don't like being angry, especially at you. And it was uncalled for when I started yelling at you," he tells me while still looking at the ceiling.

He would apologize for that because he's Simon. Harmless, always good-natured Simon. "It's okay, it's not like I didn't yell at you either," though my temper is much shorter than his.

He must agree because he starts laughing, "Clary, if you hadn't started yelling I think I would have been more afraid."

We both laugh at this and he takes my right hand into his left. "You know I really just want you to be happy, right?" He asks softly.

I don't say anything, just nod while turning my head to look at him.

"And I'm just afraid you'll be hurt. I mean, look at the incident with Kaelie, I wasn't there and I felt awful about it. I was home sick and playing video games while you were being turned into a walking orange air freshener." I snort at that, because I did smell like oranges for a good three days after the fact.

Simon had felt awful about the Pandemonium incident, and I guess now I understand why he was so upset.

At that moment, Simon shifts his feet, kicking some of my crumpled pieces of paper that I had thrown on the ground. He looks down at them confused and picks one up. "Have a hard time drawing something Fray?"

Then he starts opening the paper.

A small amount of panic sets in at the realization that Simon will definitely be able to identify who is in the drawing. And in the other ten pieces of paper lying at our feet.

Instead of reaching out and trying to rip the sheet out of his grasp, I just sit there and watch him warily, afraid of what his reaction will be after we just had our first major fight over the exact same person in the drawing.

Simon opens the paper excruciatingly slow, drawing out my worry. He opens the paper and stares at the drawing of Jace with extremely curly hair.

I can tell you the exact moment that he realizes it's Jace from the furrow that forms in his eyebrows. And it's pretty much as soon as he opens the paper.

"Well," Simon says in a quiet voice, and I'm unsure if he's angry or sad… or both. "I guess I really didn't have a shot, did I?" He laughs at his joke, but there's no energy in it. He meets my green eyes, but he's not angry. I honestly don't know what emotion it is.

"You know what?" He asks while taking my hand again, squeezing it reassuringly and telling me he's not angry. I can feel a giant weight lifted from my chest.

"What?" I whisper to him.

He gives me a smile, a 'Simon' smile, and it's like we are discussing a picture of a tree and not a picture of a guy that he hates. "Izzy told me that it would happen, that it was so obvious that you two had feelings for each other, but I didn't want to believe it, even though I see the way you look at him. I'm not sure if it was because of the way I feel about you, or because I was afraid he would hurt you, because I've seen the broken hearts of lots of girls that have dated Jace. My guess would be both."

This time I squeeze his hand reassuringly. "I don't think he'll break my heart Si."

He looks thoughtful as he says, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think your right."

Shock and surprise must wash over my face because Simon looks at me and starts laughing at my reaction. "Jeese Clary, don't look so surprised," he jokes while scooting closer to me and nudging my shoulder.

"Why do you say that?" I ask him because I need to know why he is taking this so well.

"Because," he says with his brow furrowed again, "he looks at you the same way Clary. I've known Jace since we were in kindergarten, and I have  _never_ seen him look at anybody the way he looks at you. I was just trying not to see it. Plus, Izzy has been saying it's the most obvious thing in the world, and she seems so hopeful that you guys will end up together. She cares a lot about you Clary, and she knows how her brother is. I don't think she'd be rooting for it if she thought you'd get hurt."

I can feel myself starting to smile uncontrollably at the thought Izzy will be happy for us. That, and that Simon seems to be okay with the idea of Jace and I together.

"Well," I start tentatively, because he has taken everything else so well so far, I'm not sure how he'll react to my next bit of news. "We're kind of- well, we're- um-"

Words just keep sputtering out of my mouth with no coherent thought behind them.

Simon starts laughing again, "I don't think I've ever seen you this flustered Fray, just spit it out."

I take one deep, hopefully relaxing breath. "Jace and I are dating Simon."

One second…

Two seconds…

Three seconds tick by before he speaks. "And are you happy?" He looks at me with no anger or disgust, he actually smiles a little bit.

"Yes."

I don't even need to think about the answer.

Simon turns toward me and wraps me in his arms in a hug. I welcome his warm embrace and wrap my arms around him tightly. He's so skinny I can easily wrap my arms and link them behind him.

This feels right. I feel safe in Simon's arms because he's been there for me ever since I've moved here. He's dealt with my temper and my eccentricities, and I will never give that up for anything in the world. All those days we've played video games or just sat and read comics and talked are days that I value more than I think he will ever know.

I tuck my head into his chest, and I can feel a rumble start there, like he is laughing.

"What's so funny?" I ask while pulling away to look at him.

He smiles down at me while still chuckling. "Nothing, it's just that, Izzy's been saying that I'm the reason that you and Jace have been getting close and I didn't think that it could possibly be true until now."

At that, I definitely look confused, because I can't see his logic in that whatsoever. "And how did you both come to that conclusion?"

"Think about it Clary. What if I hadn't fainted in Bio and we went to the dance together. Do you honestly think everything would have worked out the way it did? Izzy said Jace is the one who took care of you after Kaelie threw the punch on you, do you really think that would have happened if I was there by your side?"

Huh, he has a point. Replaying that night's events, if Simon had been there, he would have been the one to help me clean off the punch. I actually probably would have gone after Kaelie because Simon wouldn't have carried me away like Jace had.

My best friend had helped me with my boyfriend.

Go figure.

An involuntary smile stretches across my face. "Well then thanks for passing out in class Simon."

I feel the rumble of laughing in his chest again, "Anytime Fray."

Silence takes over for a few moments before a thought occurs to me.

"Wait a minute," I say as I think about everything Simon has said, "since when do you spend so much time with Izzy?" Because all the information he didn't get from me, he seems to have gotten from Izzy.

I look at Simon to see his face start to flush red and the tips of his ears turn as bright as a tomato. "Well- I mean we were- She just- I asked her-"

I start laughing now.

"Why, I don't think I've ever seen you this flustered Lewis," I mimic his earlier words now that he's in the hot seat.

I smile to myself at the realization that I may be throwing Simon at his girl earlier than he expects me to. I just need to see if Izzy gets just as scrambled as he is. A plan already starts unfolding in my mind.

"Shut up Fray," he mumbles as he releases me and sits back further on the couch. "Hey, I have a question for you." Great.

"Okay…" I draw out the suspicion in my voice.

He starts speaking fast like he wants to get the words out before he stops himself. "Those things you asked me, about the electricity and energy, do you feel that with him?" He clears his throat. "I mean, do you feel that with Jace?"

Yes is my immediate thought, because I was thinking about everything I feel with Jace and what he has said to me when I asked Simon. But I see where Simon is going with this, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.

But I tell him the truth, because he deserves it. "Yeah Simon, I do. It's so strange, but it's exhilarating too."

He ponders this for a moment before his next question. The one I was hoping he wouldn't ask.

"Are you in love with him?"

I've known Jace for a little over a month. Can I really have fallen in love with him already? The thought is so surreal that I'm left speechless.

"Oh come one Clary, just say it," Simon tells me with an amused look.

"I honestly don't know Simon," is the response I give him.

'Maybe' is the response I give myself.

Before he can ask me any more love-heavy questions I change the subject to something he had said earlier. "Do you really think I can beat your high score?"

He rolls his eyes at me, but a guilty smile curves onto his face. "Now come on, I'm a video game ninja, you can't possibly beat me."

Then we're back into our usual groove, teasing and laughing and just having fun. I know he's not 100% happy with the idea of Jace, but he's my best friend, and he's willing to be open to it so that I'm happy.

And I will be forever grateful for that.

"I can definitely beat you, you know," I joke, but there is confidence in my voice.

Simon's competitive gleam is in his eyes.

"Bring it on Fray."


	14. Joking Matters

-Jace-

" _You'll protect me right?"_

" _Of course I will Clary."_

" _Promise me."_

" _Clary, I will protect you with my life."_

I jolt up in my bed with a start, gasping for air. Goddamn dream.

No. Not a dream.

A nightmare.

The same freaking nightmare that I thought I had seen the end of two weeks ago when Clary and I started being friends.

I bring my hand over my chest to feel the rapid pounding of my heart, like it has no intention of stopping its slamming rate. Holy shit.

I take deep, steadying breaths, trying to calm myself down.

Breathe in… two seconds… breathe out… two seconds…

_Focus on the breathing Jace, not Clary's face, not the fear coursing through your veins, not anything but the breathing. You don't get scared._

No, I stopped getting scared after my dad never came home.

I haven't had that goddamned nightmare in two weeks, and now all of a sudden it decides to pop up again.

The same exact nightmare.

Java Jones…

The smell of coffee…

Clary's red hair…

Clary's terror…

Clary needing my protection...

So why am I so shaken this time?

As the pounding in my chest starts to slow even the slightest amount, I lay back down in bed and stare at the white ceiling above me. I haven't had a nightmare wake me like this since I was twelve, but I've always dealt with them the same way. Focus on the breathing, not what caused it. Watch the ceiling, make your mind as blank as the ceiling.

I can feel myself begin to drift off, and before I know it, I'm back in Java Jones alone, again, my feet stuck to the ground as I watch my girlfriend's hair flash in my peripheral as she turns the corner.

* * *

"JACE!" I can hear pounding on my door, "Jace Lightwood you better be up! You will not be late on your first official day of having a decent girl waiting for you at school!" And then the knocking continues. A weird sense of déjà vu rushes over me as I open my eyes and look directly at the white ceiling while listening to Izzy's incessant knocking and yelling.

I groan as I try to lift myself up in bed and hear my joints crack from sleep, well, the little bit of sleep that I actually got, and then I flop back down in bed. Izzy continues the knocking, but I can't bring myself to actually get out of bed yet and open the door.

"Jace! If you don't open up this door I will literally drag you out of the house in whatever god forsaken attire you're in right now, no matter how little it actually is!"

Not even that brings a smile to my face. "That would be nothing then Iz!" I call out, though my heart isn't in my remark. "Though, I'm sure the ladies would love to see that," I say, not having the energy to yell it. And yet, Izzy hears it all the same.

"There is only one 'lady' you should be concerned with at the moment! You know, short, red hair, bad temper? God, what the hell does she see in you?" Izzy says the last part more to herself, but loud enough that I can hear. The mention of Clary brings me back to the reason why I'm lying in bed half asleep while I should be getting ready to leave.

I thought after waking up from the nightmare I would be able to have a dreamless sleep.

I guess that was too much to ask for.

I should have woken up overjoyed and ready to spend the first official day of dating Clary with a stupid grin on my face and happy as can be, but instead, I wake up after having that nightmare three times in one night and a bundle of uneasy nerves settled in my stomach.

The feeling is enough to set me on edge.

And having this nightmare repeatedly in one night is new. Maybe it's making up for lost time.

"Oh god, you're not sick, are you!?"

I thought maybe Izzy had left.

I literally put all of my energy into getting out of bed and trudging to the door to crack it open the smallest amount possible to be met with worried onyx eyes.

Izzy takes a step back to take a look at my rugged appearance. "Holy shit you look awful."

"Not all of us take three hours to make themselves look like a human being. I'll be ready in five," I comment with more sarcasm than I meant to. Those worried eyes instantly switch to "pissed off" mode at my tone.

"Jeese, sorry for caring," she throws back with sarcasm to match my prior comment, "you know what? I'll drive myself and you can look like an asshole in front of Clary. As if you haven't already."

I sigh in defeat, not wanting a full on argument when I really need to get ready, "I'm sorry Iz, I just didn't get much sleep at all and I feel like if I close my eyes I'll be zonked for hours."

Her facial expression softens slightly with a bit of humor, "Did you just say the word 'zonked'?"

I give her an extremely confused look, "Uh, yeah? Why is that funny?"

She glances down at her feet shyly, something I have never seen Izzy do, and says, "that's just something Simon would say. I think Clary's rubbing off on you Jace," she adds with mild amusement.

Great, now I look like shit and sound like a geek. Fan-freaking-tastic.

"Iz, there's never going to be a time or place where comparing me to that video game-loving, four-eyed nerd will be okay."

She glares at me again. "Don't insult Simon," she reproves, and then she walks away without another comment. That's it? That's all she's going to say? "And seriously get ready asshole, you really do look like shit and I don't think you want Clary to see you like that or have her waiting for you at school. We need to leave in like ten minutes," she says as she walks away down the hall.

"Thanks, you really know how to make a guy feel good," I mutter under my breath as I close my bedroom door. I momentarily forgot about the uneasiness in my stomach while talking to Izzy, but now it slams back full force.

What the hell? I'm not nervous about seeing Clary.

Actually, I feel like if I don't see her soon, I might go crazy. I need to see her. Need to make sure that she's okay. Need to see her beautiful smiling face and hear her infectious laugh.

My feelings for Clary are being jumbled with the aftereffects of these freaking nightmares. Dammit. They're screwing with my head.

I glance around my room to find my cell laying on my nightstand. I walk over and pick it up, scrolling to Clary's number.

_Morning, hope you slept well and your mom and step-dad weren't too mad about detention. Can't wait to see you. I'll see you soon._

After I send the text, I sit on the edge of my bed and close my eyes, clearing my head like I did last night. I have a beautiful girl who I am lucky enough to call my girlfriend.

A girl who I can be myself around, who I feel I can tell anything to. Well, almost everything.

A girl I can trust.

A girl who makes me feel things I have never felt before.

A girl who makes me smile by just thinking about her.

And I'll be damned if I let some pretend images concocted in my head of her being scared mess with the reality set in front of me that Clary is fine and going to be waiting for me at school with that nerdy best friend of hers and I'm going to show the school how lucky of a guy I truly am.

And that if I don't walk out of this bedroom in two minutes Izzy will be coming in guns blazing.

That image brings a smirk to my face and I get up and grab some clothes from a drawer just as my phone buzzes.

_Morning! The parents weren't too angry about detention. Luke actually wants a picture of the black eye, haha. And I think you managed to almost get Simon to barf up his breakfast with that text. He says I'm making you soft :P But I loved it, see you soon! I'll be waiting outside the school!_

And there goes that stupid grin…

She  _loved_  it.

God, I sound like a giddy kindergartener.

I get dressed in a hurry, do a mental check to make sure everything is in order, and sprint out of my bedroom, so beyond ready to get to school.

Clary Fray, here I come.

* * *

My heart does a little jolt as I turn the car into the parking lot and I see red hair in my line of vision near the entrance to the school. She doesn't see Izzy and I pull in, so I speed up the car into the nearest parking spot, slamming on the breaks and putting it into park.

"Jesus!" Izzy gasps, "Could you be any less graceful?" She looks over at me with a scowl on her face only to see my attention transfixed on that splash of red in the sea of students filtering into the school. Next to her I see a smudge of brown with eyes pointing right at my car through his dorky glasses. I roll my eyes both at Izzy's comments and rat boy's stare and get out of the car, making my way over to Clary.

She must sense me walking over, because just as I walk up behind her she turns around and flashes me a dazzling smile.

"Simon was beginning to think you'd already snuck into the school and that you were going to make him late for class," she remarks as I take the last few steps toward her and my face breaks out in an earsplitting grin, completely forgetting the uneasiness I felt this morning.

_See? Perfectly fine._

"He didn't have to wait if he'd rather go to calculus and start next month's homework," I say as I bend to capture her lips with mine for a brief kiss, catching her by surprise.

I pull away too soon, only to tilt my face mere inches away from hers.

"Good morning," I say in a low voice while admiring those green eyes of hers, which are staring back at me with the slightest bit of shock, and dare I say it… shyness?

That beautiful smile returns again, and she looks at me like she did last night.

Like I'm the only thing in her world.

"Hi," she whispers back.

"Oh my god, this time I'm  _really_  going to be sick Clary. I can't take all the googly eyes and lovestruck smiles."

She rolls her eyes toward me as she completely pulls away to face her best friend. "Don't be a drama queen Simon," she chastises, even though I can see a blush slowly creep onto her cheeks, which makes me smirk at Simon, who in turn glares at me.

"I'm literally going to beg to guys. Please,  _please_  keep the PDA to a minimum. I would like to keep my meals where they belong… in my stomach... and not on the ground," he says as he glances at both of us.

I give him a lazy shrug. "No promises nerd," I say as I turn to Clary, "I think he likes me. Seems to be okay with the dating thing? No outbursts on how I'm stealing you away from your video game bonding time?"

It takes me about half a second to see that I said something wrong.

Clary noticeably flinches, and I know I'm missing something. Know that whatever I just said had an immediate negative effect on both her and Simon.

She reaches out and laces our fingers together, squeezing my hand gently and pulling me closer to her. "A story for another time," she murmurs so that only I can hear. Confusion must be written all over my face, but she just gives me another smile before glancing back over at Simon, who if possible, seems to have become more awkward in mere seconds.

And then Izzy decides to grace us with her presence.

"And thanks for waiting the whole, oh, I don't know, five seconds for me to get out of the car Jace. Really, I think you would have died if you waited a whole five seconds to get to your girlfriend," she remarks with a heavy dose of sarcasm before glancing down at Clary's and my joined hands, "and really Clary, I think you would have died if you responded to one of my, oh, I don't know,  _twenty-eight_  text messages last night regarding you dating my brother."

Instead of either of us responding, we both look at each other and roll our eyes, completely unfazed by Izzy's dramatics.

"Twenty-eight text messages, really?" I ask with a small amount of disbelief, knowing my sister's persistence and how aggravated she was after I had announced to my family that Clary was my girlfriend and I wouldn't tell her anything more than that.

Only Max got any sort of very mild details. The rest stays between Clary and me.

"And that's not including the ones referring to the fight," Clary adds while shaking her head knowingly at Izzy. "Iz, I hadn't checked my phone all day, and by the time I did, it was after explaining the whole fight ordeal to mom and Luke and my phone was so flooded with messages from you, Simon, and Jon that I just went to sleep."

I can't help but notice the flash of guilt that washes over Clary's face as her eyes flick to Simon, and then back to Izzy, who moves so she's standing right next to Simon. Izzy gives him a bashful smile before looking back over at Clary and me.

And I'm momentarily speechless at seeing Izzy smile  _bashfully_ , because I didn't think such a thing existed. My sister. Bashful.

Dear lord.

But then she's back to business with the interrogations as Simon gives her his own shy smile. "Oh no, let's just leave me in complete suspense after my brother comes home and announces to our  _entire_  family that he is dating my best friend, and says that he just came from your house but refused to tell us  _anything_  no matter how much Magnus, Alec, and I harassed him, and how Magnus was literally hovering over my shoulder as I sent you those twenty-eight messages because  _nobody_  told me anything about this relationship, and how surely the  _only_  reason that you didn't answer me was because you were talking to your parents and  _not_  that you were thinking about whatever make out session or whatever the heck went on between you two earlier."

"Isabelle!" Clary yells in what is an attempt at scolding, but is a complete failure as she starts laughing at how accurate, and slightly ridiculous, Izzy sounds at the moment. I can't help but notice that Simon averts his eyes at the mention of what Clary was doing after I left and wonder if that would be explained in the 'story for another time.'

Izzy puts her hands up in mock surrender, "okay, okay, I'll let it go… for now. But only because you guys look so happy that it's almost sickingly sweet."

"That's what I said," Simon not-so-subtly mutters under his breath.

"Pretty sure your comments included the implication of puking," Clary remarks, "which is  _so_  not the same thing."

Simon just looks at Izzy, and they both roll their eyes at each other just like Clary and I had done moments ago, connections beginning to form in my head, drawing a smirk that twitches at my lips.

We hear the bell ring, realizing that mostly everyone has gone inside already. Whatever sarcastic remark that would have come out of our mouths next is forgotten as we head up the main stairs. Izzy and Simon walk in together ahead of us, starting up their own conversation as I'm pulled backward when Clary stops right in front of the entrance, still holding my hand.

"You okay?" I ask, seeing how her facial expression has changed to one of worry.

She nods, though that worried furrow in her brow doesn't go away. I reach out and gently smooth it away with my thumb, glancing down at her face.

"People are going to talk, you know," she states matter of factly, directly meeting my gaze, "I mean, it wouldn't be a normal high school if they didn't."

I give her a reassuring smile before saying, "Eh, let them. I'm the one with the hot girlfriend, so it'll all be jealousy anyways."

Her smile is small, but it's a smile nonetheless. "Hey," I say while bringing both of my hands to either side of her face, "You and me, right? You're all that matters." By now we're the only ones standing at the entrance, but I can hear the typical sounds of students moving from their lockers to their classrooms right inside the doors.

Her smile gets a little bit wider as she nods her head in agreement. " _We're_  all that matters," she corrects me as she pulls away to open the door.

I nod my head in agreement with her, pulling her bag out of her hands and throwing it over my shoulder as I wrap my other arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to me and placing a kiss on her temple.

We push through the door and start walking, immediately becoming a spectacle to those in the surrounding area, already creating sparks for a whole reel of rumors.

_Did you see Clary and Jace?_

_I can't believe he got to her._

_Are they dating?_

_Did they hook up?_

And my only thought to all of it is screw them all, because I have my arm wrapped around this beautiful girl.

And I couldn't be happier.

* * *

Aside from the steady murmur of rumors that started upon our arrival, which we do our best to ignore, the day has gone pretty normally. We sit at what has become the 'normal' lunch table with Izzy, Simon, Jordan, Maia, and Aline, and everything is just as it always has been. Maia, Aline, and Jordan, if anything, actually seem completely unfazed by Clary's and my shift in relationship, which brings a grateful smile to my face. It also helps me realize how I've come to consider them actual friends over the past two weeks.

Something I haven't really ever had.

Jordan and I discuss the usual sports, Aline and Izzy try to get Clary to go shopping with them, and Simon and Maia ramble on about some video game. Really, the only difference is that I haven't let go of Clary's hand that's resting on her lap since we sat down, and I have no intentions of doing so any time soon.

Even as the bell rings.

We stick together as a little group, still continuing with our conversations as we head toward the cafeteria exit. Clary's hand is still in mine, and I see her lips curve upwards. I'm momentarily mesmerized by them and how badly I want to kiss them.

Not just a peck. A kiss like the one last night.

The mind-blowing kind.

"This  _is_  a joke, right?"

The voice is loud enough to make all of us turn around to see its source, even though I'm pretty sure we all already know the answer.

Kaelie stands only a few feet in front of us with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her face as if she's amused by what she just saw. And what she just saw was Clary and I staring at each other while holding hands.

"I mean,  _really_  Jace, you can't possibly tell me that you're in a committed relationship with carrot head over there. Who do think you're kidding?" By now, it's not just our little group that has turned around, it's everyone who was heading toward the exit, which to put lightly, is pretty much the entire senior class. And Kaelie's speaking loud enough so that all can hear.

I feel Clary's tension through her entire body as she squeezes my hand reflexively. I squeeze back reassuringly, knowing that whatever Kaelie has in mind in saying, she's going to say it whether I try to shut her up or not.

But that still doesn't stop me from trying.

"Actually, this isn't a joking matter, Kaelie. I am telling you and everyone else too nosy to walk away that I am in a committed relationship with Clary. That's all there is to say."

At that, Kaelie outright laughs as if I said the funniest joke on the planet. Whatever little friends of hers stand behind her and trade amused glances as well. I for one don't see what's so funny, and I can feel impatience and aggravation battling inside me.

"Oh my god- you're h- hilarious Jace," she laughs out. As she puts on a show for the crowd with her continuous hysterics, I glance down at Clary, who seems both tense and confused as she gives me a questioning look.

"Let's get to class," I tell her as I go to turn around.

"Oh no," Kaelie speaks again, seemingly controlling herself, "I'm not done Jacey."

I can feel an aggravated flush begin to settle on my neck at that freaking annoying nickname she insists on calling me.

"Actually Kaelie, I don't really care, I am done and I'm heading to class," I tell her with my impatience clearly seeping into my tone.

Kaelie rolls her eyes, "oh please, since when are you worried about getting to class? Last year you and I would skip class all the time and have a completely  _different_  type of anatomical education," she drawls as she stares right at Clary, who I feel tense all over again so much so that I can visually see her shoulders tense and her eyes flash with anger.

Aggravation wins out over impatience. Kaelie wants to put on a show and flaunt our loosely defined past relationship to Clary, which really was no relationship at all. Just hook ups. Hook ups that I never wanted Clary to hear about, even though she knows how much of a player I've been in the past.

I've never regretted something so much in my life.

I grit my teeth before saying, "Kaelie, I don't know what delusions you're under, but whatever you're trying to do here is a complete waste of time and a shout for attention, okay? Neither of which I'm interested in, so if you will excuse us-"

"God Jacey, do you think that prude will do anything for you? It won't be long before you're tired of lugging her virgin ass around."

The senior crowd, which has been extremely quiet and attentively listening, starts murmurs that can only center around Clary, Kaelie, and myself, more specifically Clary.

My aggravation turns to flat out disgust.

Because none of them know me at all.

None of them have a right to judge Clary. And none of them have any business in discussing Clary like that.

" _What_  did you just call me?" Clary spits out with an equal amount of disgust that I am feeling.

She still holds on to my hand, and I feel as if in this moment, we're anchoring each other. I steal another glance at her as she glares at Kaelie, the anger and frustration practically radiating off of her.

I've seen that look three times since I've known Clary.

Once when she hunted me down in the hallway, demanding the return of her sketchbook. Again when Kaelie threw punch all over her. And then yesterday when she slugged Sebastian in the face.

And that look is channeled toward Kaelie for a second time, only this time, I don't feel the need to carry Clary away for her own good.

This time? Clary's not dealing with a girl who's jealous over stealing her date's attention. Or whatever stupid reason Kaelie had for the punch incident.

This time? Clary's dealing with a girl who's broadcasting Clary's personal life for her peers to hear and gossip about.

And I have a strong inclination to think Clary doesn't take too kindly to that.


	15. The Untouchables

-Clary-

There are certain moments in our lives that define who we are.

These moments force us to make decisions that outline for us where we stand and what we're made of. Do we react badly to the situation put in front of us? Do we rise to the occasion? Those kinds of decisions define us. So I think it's pretty safe to say they're pretty important.

I like to think that in one of those moments I'd know exactly how to act. It'd be somewhere important, somewhere where I can feel the right answer beckoning me.

I'm totally ready for one of those moments, honestly.

I just wish one of those damn moments wasn't occurring in a high school cafeteria in front of the entire senior class.

I really wish that wasn't the case.

* * *

"I called you a prude Clary," Kaelie says mockingly, as if I don't understand the word. I feel Jace's hand tighten almost impossibly so around mine, almost as if he alone can ground me in this moment. Not hold me back, but remind me that he's here. That he's  _with_  me.

"Please tell me you at least know what that means," Kaelie coos as if I'm a child, "I mean, this whole innocent act you put on can't possibly be that true, can it? I mean, are you that stupidly naïve?"

I can feel my face flush as everyone surrounding us continues to drone on in whispers undoubtedly about what is occurring right in front of them. I know they're talking about me. What normal high school student wouldn't gossip about the drama unfolding before their very eyes? But really, must they be here?  _Must_  they have to listen to Kaelie call me out on things that are my own business? Because I can feel the anger and frustration flowing like waves through me, and I really don't want to give them even more of a show by reacting.

But the need to walk right over to her and smack her across the face is almost too tempting to deny. It's like she purposely tried to replicate my emotions from the night of the dance, like she's trying to goad me on.

Jace's grip doesn't lessen on my hand as I continue to glare at her, realizing I should probably say something to shut her up. "I'm about a thousand percent positive that that is none of your goddamn business Kaelie," I grit through my teeth, trying to keep my temper in check. But it's hard. It's so,  _so_  hard to do when you know everyone is talking about you and waiting for you to explode or fall or just combust into tears, none of which fit into beating Kaelie at her own game.

And that's just it. It's a game to her. A game to make me finally snap, or give up, or just completely break down in the most public way possible. For whatever reason, and if I had to guess, it involves Jace, Kaelie hates me so much that she wants me to crash and burn.

But I will  _not_  give her the satisfaction of humiliating me in front of my classmates.

Kaelie's eyes gleam with anger as she glances down at Jace's and my joined hands. "You will never be able to keep up with what he's had Clary and you know it. Think about it," she drawls, "you have what?  _Kissed_ a boy?" At this she laughs as if she's the only one in on a funny joke. It makes my blood run cold. Those same awful feelings Sebastian had drawn out just yesterday start creeping back into my mind.

Inadequate. Tiny. Scrawny. Plain. Pale.

Kaelie continues on when I say nothing. I can feel my muscles tensing and I only realize the death grip I have on Jace's hand when I feel him pump my hand twice. I look up to see his golden eyes full of concern and worry for me.

For  _me_.

Not pity. Not disgust.

But maybe a little fear.

He looks almost as if he's expecting to see pity and disgust written across my face instead of the other way around.

It's then that I finally have that moment of clarity. That instant where I realize that this moment? This "defining moment" that's happening in a high school cafeteria in front of the entire senior class?

It's not worth it.

Kaelie Fae is not worth it and I am  _not_  going to play her game. I will  _not_  give her the satisfaction of humiliating me in front of my classmates. I will  _not_  stoop to her level for her own satisfaction. I will  _not_  take her bait.

She wants me to look at Jace with disgust.

She wants me to hate him.

God. If she only knew how he invades every single waking thought I have.

And so I think about how this very scenario played out yesterday with Sebastian making remarks that would shake my faith in Jace and crush me, and with that, I realize that I don't care what Jace's past has been. I just want him for who he is.

I want the boy who just yesterday made me feel safe and loved and, well, beautiful. He didn't make me feel like nothing.

He made me feel like everything.

Jace Lightwood may have been a player in the past, but the man who stands next to me has done everything in his power to earn my trust and forgiveness, and I'll be damned if I let Kaelie Fae be the one to take that away from me.

I'll be damned if I allow Kaelie Fae to affect any part of my life.

This is a discussion that I want to have with Jace. My boyfriend. Who I know would never push me to do anything I didn't want to do. He wants me just the way I am. And yes, I am embarrassed and I am hurt that people find a need to gossip about my personal life, but I will never let those whispers influence how I make my own decisions.

Because in the end? Kaelie Fae fits nowhere into my plans. My family? My friends? My boyfriend? They're what matter.

So instead of walking over to Kaelie and doing something I will regret or spitting back a comment that she'll undoubtedly have another remark for, I lift my hand still encased in Jace's, raising our joined hands to my mouth, and place a soft kiss to the back of his palm, smiling as he watches me with that look I've come to realize is reserved solely for me.

"Wanna get to class?" I ask him, just loud enough for Kaelie to hear. The smile that graces Jace's face is all the answer I need as he starts to pull me toward the cafeteria's exit while the rest of the gang turns to leave as well.

"Class?" Kaelie shouts as she watches us turn to leave, mouth gaping. "Um, in case you've missed it, I'm pretty sure we're in the middle of something right now you freak."

Everyone else seems to go silent as well, not really knowing how to react to the situation. Honestly, I wouldn't know how to react if I was in their shoes either.

But I'm not them. I'm me, Clary Fray. And I just want to go spend the rest of the day with my boyfriend and my friends, so I turn slightly to give Kaelie one last look and one last statement to mull over.

"I'm done with you Kaelie."

She keeps on sputtering nonsense as we walk away, and the spell that seemed to hold the student body's attention finally disbands and everyone starts walking away as well.

We walk out into the hallway as it starts to clear with the students heading into their respective classrooms. I feel Jace's hand squeeze mine twice again and I look up to see him smiling straight ahead, as if he can't possibly contain it from spreading across his face.

So I squeeze his hand back twice as well and ask, "What's with the smile?"

Those liquid gold eyes meet mine and I can see every feeling Jace has for me written like an open book in those eyes. "You know, you're kind of amazing."

A smile of my own spreads across my face, "Oh?" I play coy. "How so?"

He shakes his head a little before saying, "There were a thousand ways you could have handled that situation where Kaelie would have gotten exactly what she wanted-"

"You mean you?" I interrupt with a quirk of my head.

He chuckles a little, "No… I'm yours," he says without room for argument as he brings the back of my hand to his lips just as I had done, a blush spreading across my cheeks. "You could have easily swung your badass swinging arm or tossed more words around with her, but you stopped it. You put an end to it. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks for letting me handle it," I tell him, realizing that he didn't say a single word once Kaelie started her verbal attack. He kept me grounded, but he let me handle it.

He just shrugs his shoulders as we continue walking, "You can take care of yourself."

I stop us with a pull on our hands, and as he turns toward me, I hop up and place a quick kiss to his cheek and whisper, "thank you." That's the second time in two days he's said something like that. And truly, he will never understand how much it means to me that he believes in me like that.

And then, because Jace is who he is, he adds, "You also looked smoking hot asserting your control over the situation too." I snort in the most inelegant way possible and shove my shoulder into his as he starts to laugh too.

"Way to ruin the moment, jerk."

"Well you did look pretty great showing her up there Clary," Izzy says as we make our way toward Simon, Izzy, Aline, Jordan, and Maia. All of their faces show similar amounts of pride and respect.

"Yes! LET'S ALL APPLAUD CLARY FRAY!" Kaelie cries as she comes up behind us in the now empty hallway, clapping her hands slowly. "Because she is so  _perfect_ , right Clary?" I look at her, and for the first time, I actually feel bad for her. The shade of red color marring her face makes her look like she's about to explode. She looks a bit crazed.

Honestly, at this point, I planned on just walking away, because her attempts to get a rise out of me are futile.

But apparently Izzy has other plans.

"Kaelie, now you're just being pathetic. It's  _over_. She's  _done_  with you," she says in a very slow, clear manner as she walks to stand between us and her.

The look Kaelie gives Izzy could kill. "You're one to talk, right Isabelle? I mean, you clearly know when to admit defeat and move on,  _right_?"

I hold my breath, praying Izzy won't rise to the bait, but this is different from what Kaelie was taunting me with. This is attacking Izzy's character.

"And what pray tell, are you talking about?" Izzy spits out.

"Oh please Isabelle, we used to be friends. You think I don't notice when you're throwing yourself at someone?" Kaelie mocks. And for a moment, I feel like Kaelie and Izzy are solely communicating through the glares they give one another. But then Kaelie's attention snaps to the least likely person any of us would expect.

"Why don't you just tell her you're not interested Four-eyes? Huh?" I think the rest of us don't know where to look. Simon's face that's draining of all color? Or Izzy's face that's turning an alarming shade of purple.

She takes another step toward Kaelie, and finally, after seemingly being frozen to the spot, Jace and Jordan leap forward to hold her back. "You shut your mouth you bleach-blonde bitch!" Izzy growls.

Finally, Kaelie seems to get something that she wants, because she starts smiling. "It's pathetic Isabelle. Let me spell it out in terms that you might understand. He. Doesn't. Want. You."

Izzy pauses for a moment, looking at the pure shock on all of our faces. The complete and utter confusion dawning Simon's.

And just as quickly as the fight in Izzy rose, it fades until she's no longer fighting Jace and Jordan's grip on her arms and her shoulders slump. My heart breaks as I see the confirmation to my own suspicions about Simon and Izzy reveal themselves right in front of me.

Only, Izzy doesn't know how Simon had reacted when confronted yesterday about this very topic. She has  _no_  idea how Simon feels.

Kaelie, seeing a win to her game in mere moments, goes in for the final blow. "You've really lowered your standards Isabelle. Meliorn I could see, but even that lasted, what? A week? But  _this_? Your complete and obvious infatuation with  _that_ ," and she gestures to Simon, making my blood boil all over again, "is just pitiable."

This time I can't hold back the retort on my tongue. I refuse to allow anyone to speak to Simon or Izzy like that, but before I can get the words out on a breath, Izzy is yanking away from the boys' arms and storming down the hallway away from us, never looking back.

Kaelie gives us a self-satisfied smirk before strutting off.

The rest of us are left speechless.

"What just happened?" Maia is the first to speak after a moment.

We all look to Simon, whose mouth just keeps opening and closing helplessly. I sigh, turning my head toward the direction where Izzy had stormed off. "Um," I say, catching everyone's attention and gesturing down the hallway, "I'm going to go see if she's okay."

I start walking away when Jace catches my hand. I look up to see his eyes reflecting the same pain I'm feeling. Pain for my best friend and his sister. "Please make sure she's okay?" He asks.

"Of course," I nod. My eyes flick toward Simon and Jace's gaze follows. "Keep an eye on him, okay?"

His hands come up to cradle my face and he grazes his lips across mine as he replies, "Of course."

And so before he can lean in any further to seal a kiss to my lips, I pull away and follow Izzy's trail.

Right now, she needs me more.

* * *

I walk down the end of the hallway and turn right, hoping Izzy went where I think she did. I keep walking and bear a left, arriving at the closest girl's bathroom to where that whole debacle just took place.

I open the door hesitantly, hoping my hunch on her location is right. "Iz?" I call softly.

"What." Is the croaked response I get from the last stall in the bathroom. I rush in, taking note that the rest of the stalls are empty, and head over to the stall where she had answered from. I push the door open tentatively, not even sure if she put the lock in place to keep it shut.

It swings open upon my touch.

And inside, trying to hold in her sobs, is Izzy. She turns to me, tears and makeup running down her cheeks, and it scares me how vulnerable she is in this moment. I have never seen Isabelle Lightwood in a state like this. She is always the calm and collected one, never allowing for herself to let her emotions get too out of check. Sure, she can be dramatic, but this? This is her trying not to fall apart.

"Oh Izzy," is all I can say before I open my arms and she throws herself into them, holding me tightly as she starts shaking with another round of sobs.

I rub her back as she continues to cry, knowing she just needs to let it out. It's crazy to think how similar we are in some aspects since we are so different in others. I may be temperamental and Izzy may be dramatic, but when it comes to pure, raw emotion, we hold it in and hide it from the world until we just can't any longer. So I let her get it all out, and after a little while, she starts to breathe more evenly again and she pulls away from my embrace.

"I hate letting people see me cry," she complains in a watery voice.

I give her an empathetic smile, because I completely understand where she's coming from. "Me too."

With that understanding in place, she gives me her best attempt of a smile and walks around me and out of the stall to go look in the mirror. "Oh my god I look awful," she declares. I follow her out.

"You're beautiful Iz," I say while shaking my head, "just ask any guy, or girl for that matter, in a fifty mile radius and you'll get the same answer."

"Just fifty?" She asks with a hint of teasing.

I smile. "Okay,  _maybe_  a hundred." This brings a genuine smile to her face. I meet her eyes before continuing, "Seriously though, are you okay?"

She grabs a paper towel and wets it in the sink, dabbing at her eyes before answering me. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Well…," I say as I hop up and sit on the edge of a sink, "too bad. Talking is healthy."

She rolls her eyes at me as she continues removing her ruined makeup, but then huffs out a 'fine' as I continue watching her expectantly.

"I like Simon," she announces timidly.

"You don't say," I tell her with a grin. She gives me an award winning scowl, so I raise my hands up in mock defense, "Okay, okay, sorry."

She takes a deep breath before turning to face me fully. "I really,  _really_  like Simon."

I think this is the first time she's admitted this to someone other than herself and I can't help but notice the gravity of this moment. I can feel my excitement starting to bubble into a sort of giddiness. But still, a thought nags me in the back of my mind. "What about Meliorn?" I ask abruptly, because I probably would have seen the signs earlier if Izzy hadn't been so engrossed with going with him to Pandemonium and talking about him for a week afterwards.

Izzy lets out an uncharacteristic snort. "Clary. Meliorn's gay."

And if any statement could have completely blindsided me, that would be it. "Wh- what?"

Izzy actually starts chuckling as she explains. "He came up to me a few weeks before the dance explaining that he was gay, but he wasn't ready for anybody to know yet. So he wanted to ask a girl to the dance, but he couldn't find someone who he was comfortable with," she pauses to make sure I'm fully listening. I nod for her to continue, "So he knew how hard of a time Alec had with the students when he came out, which I think is playing a factor in why Meliorn's afraid to, but he knew I would understand. I was kind of a crazy, overprotective sister when Alec was here," she admits with a proud smile.

"As you should have been," I commend her.

She nods her thanks. "So I told him I absolutely would go with him. And then when you asked Simon, I thought that would be my chance to spend some time with him. I knew Jace would sweep you away at some point," she says while giving me a pointed look.

"I didn't even like him then," I grumble, but Izzy just gives me an unconvincing 'mhm.'

"But," Izzy continues, "then he got sick, and you got punch thrown on you, and then you and Jace left, so then I ended up spending the entire night with Meliorn after screaming at Kaelie and texting Jace a thousand times making sure you were okay." She smiles remembering the night. "And we had a really great time," she tells me with a smile, but then she frowns again. "But I like Simon, and he clearly doesn't feel the same way. I kept bringing up Meliorn hoping he'd say something, but he never said a single comment about it."

The look in her eyes clearly declares defeat. "Iz, have you even asked him how he feels?" She shakes her head. "And you haven't told him how you feel?" Again, a shake of the head.

I can see her bottom lip start to wobble again. "I- I thought I was being pretty clear about it. I mean, obviously I was 'throwing myself at him,'" she ponders bitterly.

I shake my head trying to catch her attention, knowing that's  _completely_  not the case. "Izzy," I state authoritatively. She looks at me with those onyx eyes, so sad and lost. "You realize we're talking about Simon, right? The guy who fainted at the sight of a dead frog?"

"Blood makes him uncomfortable," she states matter-of-factly. The smile she reveals tells me all I need to know. I can see exactly how she feels about my best friend. That giddiness in me starts to bubble over upon realizing it's the same smile I've seen upon Simon's face when he's talking to her.

"Well as Simon's best friend, and knowing how oblivious he can be in these kinds of situations, I think you should talk to him."

She doesn't answer. She focuses on the bathroom mirror again, trying to get the last remnants of her makeup off. I give her a pointed look through the mirror and she looks down upon seeing it. "I'm afraid he won't want to talk to me. Did you see his face back in the hallway?"

"I did," I say to her. "Did you see the worry etched in his face as he watched you walk away?"

At that, she whips her head around to meet me face to face again. "He was?" She asks curiously. "I mean, he was worried?" I can hear the hope start to seep into her voice, washing away the remains of her watery tone.

"If you had just turned around, you would have seen for yourself," I tell her. "Talk to him, okay?" I walk over and give her another hug which she readily accepts. After she pulls away, she runs her hands through her hair and does a double check in the mirror.

"Okay, I'll be out in a few minutes," she tells me as she starts pulling some makeup out of her purse.

I give her one more smile before turning to leave.

"Hey Clary," she calls as I pull on the door handle. I turn to her with my eyebrows raised. "Thank you."

I shrug my shoulder. "What are best friends for, right?"

* * *

"Oof!"

I walk out the door, only to walk right into Simon.

He steadies me with his arms before glancing worriedly at the closed bathroom door. "Is- is she okay in there?" I can feel his anxiety running through him.

I step away, reaching out to rub my hands up and down his arms. It's only then that I notice Jace leaning against some lockers with his arms crossed behind Simon, watching us curiously. Simon's still staring at the door. "She's fine Simon." He looks down, searching for reassurance in my face. I nod my head confidently and tilt my head toward the closed door. He looks between the door and me with his eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"Kaelie was lying. It's not that I don't want her, it's that I didn't know-"

"I know Simon," I say while nudging him toward the bathroom door. "Go talk to her."

He looks at me with horror. "You want me to go into the girl's bathroom?" I laugh at his fear over such a silly thing. You'd think that would be the easiest task with the conversation that is to come.

"Yes," I say while shoving him toward the door. "Nobody but Izzy is in there. You'll be fine."

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?"

I roll my eyes at him. "Trust me Si, she does."

That seems to be the only encouragement he needs, because he nods his head once, and opens the door to walk inside. I see Izzy's wide eyes upon seeing Simon for about half a second before the door closes again.

Not seconds after, I feel strong, familiar arms wrap around my waist.

"And what do you think you're doing missy?" Jace whispers in my ear as he nuzzles the side of my neck.

"I'm throwing Simon head first at his girl," I tell him with a grin.

He turns me around and bends down to meet my eyes. "You sure she's okay? It takes a lot to get her that upset, trust me, I would know," he says with a half-hearted smirk. He may try to joke about it, but I can see the concern etched in his face.

"She'll be fine Jace," I assure him, "and I think she'll be much, much happier after whatever conversation goes on in there." His eyes follow my hand as I gesture toward the bathroom door.

"We kept guard to make sure no one came in," he reveals with a smirk. "Told them there'd been an unfortunate situation as a result of the toxic waste they call cafeteria food."

I laugh as I pull him closer until my head is resting on his chest. "Our knights in shining armor," I mumble into his shirt. His chest vibrates with his laugh. "Should we head to class?" I ask after a moment.

"Hmm, we've pretty much missed the last two periods of the day. You girls were in there for a really long time."

This news shocks me. Not just because there's no way it felt like two periods passed while I was with Izzy, but because, "Simon skipped class for Izzy?"

And because it's Simon, and because I know how important school is to him, the full realization about his feelings for Izzy hit me full force. It's the same realization Jace seems to have come to as well. "Yeah… I feel like we've both been picking up on things that didn't start clicking until today."

"Your sister, my best friend…"

Jace just shakes his head with a smirk on his face. The final bell for the day rings as we head toward the school exit, Jace holding me close with his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

"Quite the interesting first official day of dating, right?"

* * *

Jace and I walk back to the apartment, leaving his car in the school parking lot. And as soon as I close the door behind us and turn toward him, his lips collide with mine. I can feel his warm hands wrap around me and glide their way up my back as we continue to kiss, forgetting about the craziness of the day.

He pulls away for the briefest of moments to say, "I've been really, really wanting to do that all day."

I smirk up at him as I wrap my arms tightly around his neck.

"Then," I kiss the skin right above the collar of his t-shirt, "don't," I kiss the hollow of his neck and tentatively let my tongue run along his skin, earning a groan that rumbles against my lips, "stop."

With his hands still on my back, he guides me toward the couch in the living room and we flop down onto it quite unceremoniously. I start giggling as he rolls us so that he's hovering above me. My look is back in his eyes, and I love it so much I can't help but lift my face, beckoning his lips toward mine.

He doesn't waste a second before kissing me deeply, that same electricity buzzing in my veins. This kind of kiss is different than yesterday's. Yesterday, we were exploring each other, but this? I can't get enough.

Our breathing is ragged, but neither of us seems to want to be the one to pull away first. I move my hands to cradle his face and I can feel the warmth of his cheeks and the heat of his breath as we continue on and on and on.

His lips slide from mine and make their way to my neck, leaving open mouth kisses all the way.

And the  _heat_.

Of his kisses, of his lips on my skin, of the slow, deliberate trail he makes down my neck.

There's so much feeling and energy and passion, and I just want more.

I want  _more_.

But then reality hits me.

The heat is too much.

I have no clue what I'm doing, and I know I'm not ready for more than this yet.

So before I can even think I'm pulling Jace away from my neck, "Jace," I whisper breathlessly, trying to catch my breath. But I can feel it start to pick up for a completely other reason than Jace's kisses.

Because I have  _zero_ clue what I'm doing, and he already knows this thanks to Kaelie, as does every other student at Alicante High.

He looks down at me, and his eyes shift from the dark gold they were. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asks worriedly as he pulls me up into a sitting position on the couch, registering my change in mood.

I sit up fully, only to drop my head into my hands, and then to run my hands through my hair. I huff out in frustration. I suddenly feel anxiety settling deep in my stomach and I just can't seem to calm my breathing. I don't look up, but I can feel Jace rubbing soothing circles against my back.

"Clary, what's going on?"

I look up to see his own eyes swimming with anxiety.

Anxiety that I'm the source of.

I sit up and take a breath before starting to race through my words, "We need to talk about what Kaelie mentioned today in the cafeteria… because I know you've been with other girls… and obviously those other girls did more than just kiss you… and I totally don't judge you for that… but I think that you deserve to at least know that-"

I'm cut off when Jace's lips softly brush against mine, in complete contrast to the frenzy we were in only minutes ago. He pulls away and I can see full understanding in his eyes.

"Clary, we don't need to talk about this right now if you're not comfortable with it," he assures me as he reaches to take both of my hands in his. My face burns with an embarrassed flush.

"But-"

"But nothing," he interjects with a shake of our hands. "We don't need to rush anything, okay?"

"I know," I protest, "but Kaelie already announced it to the school anyways…"

He shakes his head with a smile on his face, "Yes, but that doesn't matter. If and when you want to talk about it, I'll be here to talk about it okay? And until then…," he brushes a chaste kiss to my cheek, "I am perfectly okay with just kissing you for the rest of my life."

His complete understanding only makes me blush harder. He lifts my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. "We've been dating for," he checks the clock on the wall, "less than twenty-four hours Clary. Trust me, we have all the time in the world."

"But Kaelie-"

"But Kaelie nothing," he stops me with his finger to my lips, "you didn't confirm or deny anything. So when you're ready to talk, we'll talk. We'll take things as slow as you want."

With him looking at me with those golden eyes telling me everything I need to know and the full meaning of his words registering in my brain, I feel my chest release the tense breath I'd been holding. I let out a breathless chuckle and bury my face in his shoulder.

"You're kind of amazing, you know."

"You stealing my lines now?" He asks, but I can hear the smile in his voice.

"It's a good line," I murmur into his shoulder. He runs his free hand down my side in what I'm sure he thought was a tender gesture, but instead, I end up squirming away with a giggle.

Jace's eyes meet mine, and that look, that look flashing with mischief, gives me about a half a second warning before he leaps for me, tickling my sides.

All I can do is squeal and laugh as he continues tickling my sides relentlessly. "JACE!" I gasp on a laugh, "AHHHHHHAHAHA!"

My stomach starts to ache from laughing so hard and I can't stop the shrieks of laughter coming from my mouth. Between that and Jace's own laughter at my expense, it's no wonder we don't hear the front door open.

"CLARY!?"

Jace and I bolt apart as if we're struck by lightning, jumping to opposite ends of the couch as my mom and Luke come racing into the living room from the front entrance of the apartment, both looking at us with panic in their eyes.

"Oh my god Mom!" I yell while looking between them and trying to catch my breath from laughing so hard, "you scared me half to death!"

" _I_  scared you!?" My mom questions on a relieved breath, bringing her hand to lie on her chest, which is rising and falling rapidly. "You were the one screaming!"

I look between her and Luke and finally register the panic that is just starting to fade from their eyes. Why the hell were they so scared?

"I was just laughing mom," I try to reassure her, "Jace was just making me laugh." At this, I gesture toward Jace, who looks at my parents with a whole different kind of panic.

The 'meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time' kind of panic.

He doesn't even catch the confused look I give him.

In a very un-Jace-like moment, Jace pops up off the couch apologizing profusely for scaring them and stumbling over his words trying to explain himself. It's actually quite endearing.

"So…," Luke says as Jace walks over and introduces himself, "you're the boyfriend Clary mentioned last night?"

"Yes sir," Jace continues on rambling, "and I really,  _really_  didn't mean to scare you both like that. I can totally see why-"

Then Luke, in a very un-Luke-like manner, interjects in an authoritative voice, "I expect absolutely no funny business with my daughter, do you understand me?"

"Luke!" I yell, while trying not to laugh, because really, the whole scene is outright comical.

But Jace just keeps going on, "Absolutely sir, I completely understand," and he's still making apologies as he makes his way to the door at the front entrance. "Um, Clary, I'll see you tomorrow? No, I'll text you tonight?" I nod my head and smirk at his nervousness, which yes, is completely adorable.

He reaches for my parents' hands one more time, telling them it was nice to meet them before walking to the front door and shutting it behind him, leaving the room silent.

I stare at the direction of the door completely dumbfounded for a good minute before sputtering out, "You- you- Did you just scare my boyfriend off?"

My parents look at each other confused for a moment, before identical smirks stretch across their faces.

"Why," Luke says with a puff of his chest, "I believe we just did Jocy."

I throw my hands up in the air as they start laughing. "Guys! YOU JUST SCARED OFF MY BOYFRIEND!"

My mom walks over to me and pats me on the shoulder, "Oh honey, he'll be back by tomorrow. Give Luke the moment to brag about being an intimidating father."

Luke beams as he walks up and throws an arm around my mom's shoulders. "I was pretty assertive, wasn't I Jocy? Did I look good as the 'tough guy?'"

Oh my god. I cannot believe I'm hearing this right now.

The look I must have plastered on my face sets my parents off on another round of hysterical laughter. And hearing them laugh like this? Hearing them joke about something as normal as intimidating Jace?  _My_ parents? The un-intimidateable Jace Lightwood? It sets me off on my own round of laughter. Because really, what else can I do?

For the first time in a really long time, everything just feels so right. By parents are happy, I couldn't ask for better friends, my best friend might be falling in love, and I have a boyfriend who continuously seems to surprise me with something new.

I feel untouchable. Me and my family and my friends and Jace?

We're untouchable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, this marks the last of the chapters that I already had posted over on FFn. From now on, the new chapters will be cross-posted on both sites with my usual author's notes. There will hopefully be a new chapter up soon-ish. Until then, I hope you're enjoying the story :) Also, if you notice anything funky going on with formatting or anything, please let me know!


End file.
